How many could use this

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

I just leave my shoe on. So far, no infections I can tell.

Can a slovenly hoarder change his habits?

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Even if you clean his place out, he will backslide and it will look the same in a few months. Do you want to undertake the job of continual upkeep? It sounds pretty clear he's made the decision to just wallow. If he decides to do anything at all, that's a first step. Asking someone else to do it for him is NOT a first step. IMO of course. Good luck, hon.

Medicine against Corona

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

If you are in a hurry, you can skip the sprayer part and just drink directly from the bottle.

Trump is now trying to blame Obama for his coronavirus response

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Ask the people at his rallies. They agree with him whatever ignorant, stupid, moronic horseshit he vomits out, and they'll argue with you about it even when presented with unassailable proof.

Yup its true

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Let's not start listing the things that *I'M* older than, all right?

Warren is dropping out. I'm sad.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Shit, I just heard this on the radio. My support seems to be the kiss of death, first Senator Harris, now Senator Warren.

Happens to my wife all the time.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

Happened to me yesterday. Not sure why people tell me shit like that.

O U C H !!!

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2020:

The classics never die.

But, but, that's not his face...it's his butt!: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

He'd lie if you asked him for the time, just for the practice.

Scared me straight..no more shoplifting! 😂

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I wonder how many people looked at that sign and involuntarily yawned.

Witticisms for the month: Money Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Lots of insight here. Unfortunate insight.

Your new favorite cosplay

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

This guy's sensible shoes lost me. He needs 2 inch lifts in each of them to be realistic.

Still pending some results, obviously now we have Bernie and Biden as the contenders, Warren should ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I can't come up with anything that would help Senator Warren turn it around, although I wish I could. I'm skeptical about the electability of either Tail Gunner Joe or Bernie. I'm sympathetic to getting a progressive in office to make structural changes, and I think that idea has a LOT of merit. But democrats vote how they vote. Remember this is not a national referendum, it is a state by state struggle, with only a handful of states really in play. I don't like that at all, but here we are. Sometimes you need to take a step sideways before you can take a step forward, as well as to avoid taking several steps backward. This whole thing blows. You can quote me on this.

line from the new Jim Carrey show "Kidding" : "The world is filled with lunatics who think that the ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

I'm not sure where this puts me, but I'm pretty sure I resent the implication.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do like messing with people's minds. It's what I do for a living.

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

My dad did this when we were in the car and he saw someone sitting on their porch. He'd toot the horn and wave, and laugh like a bastard as we drove away. Good times.

GOP blocking coronavirus bill — because it limits how much drugmakers can charge for a vaccine: ...

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

What's more important than life and health? Well, money of course. Vote Republican, while you are still alive! (This is sarcasm, because sometimes people take me literally here.)

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

Tough decision.

Would work on me

zeuser comments on Mar 4, 2020:

There are quite a few words to describe people who sell themselves without regard to personal dignity, integrity, or modesty. Y'all can come up with a couple of them, I'm sure. I sure can.

Yeah, but does he know where the clitoris is.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

If that's the lord that's touching me, I glad he's ambidextrous. LOL

People Are Photoshopping Trump As a Little Kid Just To Annoy Him

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Childish, but yeah, very funny.

I've always adored her singing, but she's a damned good writer to boot ... [variety.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Those of us who agree with her love this piece. But the words simply bounce off of the people for whom it would do the most good. The point is there are more of us than them. It doesn't make a difference, though, if we are not united. We can squabble after the biggest threat is eliminated. I hope that turns out to be true. Doing what I can. *sigh*

Still funny after all these years.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

You always knew how it was going to wind up, but it happened a different way each time. It's an old and successful formula: the Hardy Boys, The A team, any James Bond movie, Romance novels, Rocky movies. You have a template, you fill it up. The humor is the unpredictability of the action within the predictable framework. Plus, it's a cartoon - nobody ever gets hurt, not really. The road runner/coyote series is only a small part of Jones' oeuvre, but a sweet part.

NOW I AM IMMUNE TO THE CORONA VIRUS...BECAUSE I KNOW 'CORONA' MEANS "CROWN"!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

So, you're saying ginger kills corona virus?

A true sociopath.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Contribute your golfing money, you grifting, traitorous son of a bitch.

If the Dems are successful this fall, there is a new safe haven for his Xtian supporters .

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

I'll chip in ten bucks to help them with moving expenses.

Yup...I agree with this!!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Same distinctive taste, too.

Good for business ?

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Gotta go with what the market is asking for.

Dr. Trump says RELAX!!!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

This is more coherent than what he's actually said.

I'm Gonna use call a friend on this one!

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

Gotta go with B. I think they really dislike the "it's god's will" response, which is what they have left when you back them into a corner (and it ain't that difficult). I think it embarrasses them. So they avoid taking questions from people who aren't steeped in their horseshit already. IMO, of course.

My greatest zombie fear.

zeuser comments on Mar 3, 2020:

That's the part nobody wants to talk about. Heh.

The latest view from Dr. Brandy Lee: [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

All because we've never seen a drooling lunatic in the oval office before and thus have never concocted any legal or extra-legal remedies. The ones we have, impeachment and removal via the 25th amendment, are both out of reach because of the hyper partisan divide that the nutjob in chief has made it his business to create and deepen.

A useful test to see where you stand politically; See the image below to see my profile.

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Reminds me of Meyers-Briggs, which also uses a forced choice instrument. I think M-B is a crock of shit, m'self. And this little quiz, well, it's kind of fun, like reading your horoscope. It shows me as a bleeding heart lefty, which is pretty close.

This is priceless unintentional humor ..[friendlyatheist.patheos.]

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

Who the hell does he think this will fool?

This reminds me of how much I miss Jon Stewart! Nobody can deliver a punch like he can, and this ...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

I miss him. Yeah, he can hammer it home all right. Thanks for the memories. 8-)

Who did this?

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

That's for when you want to give a flying fuck. LOL

It has become abundantly clear that people are insanely preoccupied with definitions down to trivial...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

If I want to have a serious discussion with anyone, defining terms is important to make sure we are discussing the same thing. The risk is that the discussion devolves into nothing more than a debate over definitions, and any opportunity to develop a common perspective to widen the discussion becomes less and less likely the further it goes. How can someone have an intelligent opinion about something if they can't even tell me how they define it? And then there are the trolls and assholes. You pay your money, you take your chances.

I sure hope this is accurate.

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

If it's just a site where people go and vote as many times as they want, and there isn't any scientific sample selection, then this isn'[t a poll. It's clickbait. I wish it were true too, but c'mon.

Hero's in a -shell...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

I remember going to the movie with my daughter in the late 80's. 8-) The turtles were big time back in those days along with the power rangers.

“You may choose to look the other way, but you can never say again that you did not ...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

The hardest thing is figuring out what the best thing to do is.

Suffer, years but not now

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

A number 10 cast iron skillet to the back of the head - you're out!

If the Corona Virus (and resultant stock market downturn) scuttles the Drumpf tenure in the WH will ...

zeuser comments on Mar 2, 2020:

No, though it is tempting.

A story that is the poster child for what a clusterfuck looks like. [msn.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Yeah, but the stock market is doing GREAT!...Oh, wait...

“Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Be like Ernie Kovacs. https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/587/ernie-kovacs#view-photo=181895

Is It Just Me?

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

No, you have a LOT of company.

To, too, two - no 2 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Your write. They love there grammer.

"If criticism is not allowed, then praise is meaningless.

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

This should be the republican campaign slogan instead of MAGA. It would certainly be accurate.

HERE IS SOMETHING A BIT DIFFERENT.

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Everything in this piece is plausible and defensible. It's 8 months between now an the election, a looong time in politics. I agree that turnout will be critical. Everything else is anyone's guess, and it IS a guess.

I would hire him!

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

Y'all never seen a dump truck before? LOL

A joke for Sunday.

zeuser comments on Mar 1, 2020:

That's cold.

Stupidity prevails.

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

True, always with us, infuriating.

Any bikers here?...

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

I saw this guy the other day, but he didn't have his helmet on. I asked him, "Are you out of your gourd?!?"

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” – Oscar Wilde

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Well, I can honestly say I have never deliberately overdressed. And the toughest things I've learned came the hard way. So yeah, this rings true.

An oldie, but goodie:::

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Say hi to your cabinet for me while you're down there.

I pity the fool - the a-Team

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

These guys were actually in the running for those parts in the original show. Unfortunately, they came up short in the audition.

Bruce Lee...

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Usually, the fools I correct have no idea I just corrected them. So it's kind of fun.

Freaking idiots. [kiro7.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

I saw this. Morons gotta moron.

Trump directing his coronavirus task force to launch attacks on Democrats to avoid blame: report ...

zeuser comments on Feb 29, 2020:

Oh FFS.

Please pass the infant (just kidding - honest).

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Aldi has 'em, 3.50 a pound.

Have you ever questioned your career choice?

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Most people don't realize how deep their skillset actually is. This applies to you because if you follow your passion and stay on your current career path, nothing stops you from shifting gears and trying something else a few years beyond if things go south for you emotionally. Human services is a broad field beyond rehab and support, there is a data gathering and analysis part, a grant application part, a PR part, a compensation analysis part, a psychological/sociological part, a marketing part. The best way to find out about all of these things is from the inside, to continue to learn all the facets of your career even after you have settled on a path (for now at least). And all of the things I mentioned are applicable to other career paths: data analysis happens in every industry these days, grants-person-ship is a transferrable skill, PR happens just about everywhere, compensation analysis is pretty (excuse the term) agnostic with regard to career areas, you see what I'm saying. Plus, you may get better at your first choice as you gain experience and confidence. Choose what you really want to do and learn all you can. Don't fear change later. Trust your own instincts. Best of luck to you VA. 8-)

🤥 Can't Pardon Stone -- 🤗 [politico.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Yeah, he wouldn't dare do anything unconstitutional. RME

Apparently this is their Corona plan

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

He may in fact be advocating this. Wouldn't surprise me in the least.

It may take Scotland, for lack of Senate republican balls, to lock the turd up! [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Bill Barr can't help him in Scotland. He can't fire his way out of this one. Prediction: It's somebody else's fault, maybe Obama's.

Funny giff about drug dog

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I got more than one wiener,, wanna see? Heh.

Yup typical

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

This was the time he claimed we weren't raking the leaves from the forest floor, and that's what caused the California fires.

Grandpa knows it

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

Even back then. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Why should we pay for Eric's business trip security to Uruguay?

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

The best kind of money is other people's money. - Donald J. Arsewipe

Trump Turns to Pence to Calm Fears Over Coronavirus President Trump addressed the nation from ...

zeuser comments on Feb 28, 2020:

I believe, but can't prove, that the way these nitwits are "responding" to the crisis is actually making the economic effects worse due to lack of confidence.

Yes truly screwed

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Lordy, we are in deep, deep shit.

Quick chuckle for the evening.

zeuser comments on Feb 27, 2020:

Oh, c'mon everybody, that's funny. 8-)

"those not present are always wrong.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

In committee meetings, those not present get the work assignments.

I'm in Fort Myers, Florida for a couple of days and this comic couldn't be more spot on.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

This, right here, this would make me a believer. Hard to deny evidence you see with your own two eyes. But of course this is a cartoon, and it's all still horseshit. And the trumperoos are still here. *SIGH*

".

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

This is a known quantity. What stops the common sense single payer system is insurance influence buying money affecting national politics. Oh FFS, how many times do we fucking have to go through this?

Words of wisdom...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

This looks like evidence, in his own fucking words.

Finally someone speaks the truth to him

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

I wonder if he'll recommend snorting adderall as a cure.

Russia wants to"help"

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

You wanna bet it's 1234?

“Just living is not enough.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

Well damn, I was deflowered decades ago.

That strange feeling at home alone - Ha!

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

Aw, it's just his brother, Stephen, who is trying to work up the nerve to come out of the closet.

Good morning all.

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

The classics never get old!

Donald Trump Has Spent Nearly A Third of His Presidency Visiting His Business Properties At Taxpayer...

zeuser comments on Feb 26, 2020:

At least he's not always playing golf like Obama...Oh, wait..

Social Media Reacts To Photo That Appears To Show Ivanka's Hand Awkwardly Placed In Trump's Jacket ...

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Ewwww.

It's a miracle!

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2020:

You talk about your woman I wish you could see mine You talk about your woman I wish you could see mine Every time she starts to lovin' She brings eyesight to the blind

Another important supporter has his say..

zeuser comments on Feb 25, 2020:

Hasta la vista, Lil Marco.

You impressed by Nostrodamus? Watch this

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

This is the first time I connected the religious incoherence of speaking in tongues to the abominable incoherence of our guy speaking in spite of his tongue. Thx.

Why are we letting him destroy the USA?

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

My guess is a bunch of republican senators who were either bribed, blackmailed, or intimidated into letting it happen. But that's just me.

Yeah me on monday

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

Monday is a just another day after you retire. Usually, shopping day.

What do you think

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

Looks like he traffics in hookers.

Trump is "on his third chief of staff, his fourth national security adviser, his fourth defense ...

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

I suppose his notoriety (or infamy, you make that call for yourself) originates from that stupid TV show where he fired people. So this isn't a real surprise. The surprise is that he always finds someone dumb enough to replace the guy he just fired. He does it by finding increasingly incompetent and sycophantic half-wits, willing to toss both shame and integrity out the window to enable bigotry, corruption, greed, and unrestrained lawlessness. Don't get me cranked up this early. Grrr.

I'm not quite this old, but the feelings the same.

zeuser comments on Feb 24, 2020:

My dad did it too. He said he's ready to do it again, and he's 95 now. He's the one in the middle without a shirt looking badass on VE day.

Yup idiot

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

I am not a fan of opinionated fuckwits.

Today's lunch laugh Several cannibals were recently hired by Talk America.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

At the last place I worked, my two happiest moments were the day I became a manager and the day I stopped being a manager.

Haven't been able to find this joke here on the site yet:.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

My son's an engineer. I can see him pulling shit like this.

I need another drink.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

I have trouble saying the "impossible" phrases even when I'm sober.

“Because Christians admit that ignorant people are worthy of their God, Christians show that they ...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

I'm not a big fan of religion either, or christianity to be more specific, but you can get into trouble painting an entire group of people with a big brush. Some xtians are smart, compassionate, and tolerant. Those are the ones I wish would wise up.

I am an atheist.

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

I miss Andy.

Trump threatens to pull licenses for CNN, MSNBC; claims they are run by people who are "bad for ...

zeuser comments on Feb 23, 2020:

He's really going downhill, which makes him that much more unmoored and dangerous.

Anyone else feel this way?

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2020:

NOOOO!! Nixon was a different kind of bad. Ask the families, if you can find them, of the people he killed bombing Laos and Cambodia. *They* don't miss that son of a bitch, I guarantee it.

His true colors

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2020:

To be clear, Trump isn't paying for any of that. We are.

Suggestion for today: Post a favorite family/dad quote here! My dad had many! Of an ...

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2020:

My dad used to remind me of the eleventh commandment: Mind your own business.

“To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is ...

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2020:

Very true. I would add "avoiding the headsman's axe".

Whoops! An easy misunderstanding.

zeuser comments on Feb 22, 2020:

You can squeeze it and shake it and do a little dance, But the last drop always Winds up on your pants.