Good morning all

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

The classics never get old. Heh.

This is right in line with the Trump inanity that thinks spending a Billion$ on a wall to keep out ...

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

The stupid wall never was meant to make objective sense, it was just a vehicle to rile up his MAGAtards and funnel government money to his cronies.

Major oops lol

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

Quick thinking, but not quick enough.

You have to be careful how you use sapiosexual in a sentence when advertising on dating sites or you...

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

This explains a lot.

Trump had a plan but unfortunately his followers were too incompetent to implement it.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

Didn't think this one through, did you Stable G?

I have never been comfortable with the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics.

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

We got some quantum entanglement coming up here.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

Happy day to all of you anti-Trump mothers.

The count got it

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

Knew I could count on him. LOL

Scared? These People Have Brains enough to Recognize Danger, Do They? [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on May 10, 2020:

The REAL tragedy for these clowns is that this fucks up their messaging? Okey doke.

So true, so true!!!!

zeuser comments on May 9, 2020:

The ones that count seem to be doing all right, but I have had some replaced so it's not entirely the original zeuser.

“By three methods we may find wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by ...

zeuser comments on May 9, 2020:

Then there's the way most of us use - the hard way.

"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass." - Barry Goldwater

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

I'm thinking atheists and agnostics should try to get in a few boots to his keister too.

Magic Mike busted! [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

Well, in his defense, the empty ones ARE easier to lift. What a fucking waste of skin.

Poor Death...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

Oh, the Grim Reaper is a real prick all right.

The Justice Department has dropped Michael Flynn’s case - Vox

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

I'm thinking the federal judge might have something to say about this. As I recall, he verbally said Flynn was guilty of treason.

Sounds familiar

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

The media was tougher back then. They finally nailed him down.

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb ...

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

I've know women who specifically cultivate relationships with dimwitted men. That is their MO. I'd like to see more context. Without knowing the point she is trying to make, this is a sound bite masquerading as insight. I love Ms. Jong, so I'd be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, but there's got to be more to it.

New face, same old crap!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

You can gussy up the numbers all you want, a line of refrigerated trucks to hold overflow dead bodies is hard to wish away.

Oh the crazy fantasies those Trumpers have and how they do love to project them onto others.

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

You know, I believe a lot of them actually think this is accurate. If you can swallow that Hillary is in charge of an international pedophile ring with HQ in the basement of a fucking pizza shop, this isn't that much of a stretch.

The true meaning of MAGA!!!!!

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

There's one born every minute.

Tha...tha...that's All Folks! I'm outa here...re-elect me, though. [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on May 8, 2020:

The plan is coming together. Putin's plan, I mean.

The birds and the bees

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Honest, but poignant.

What the heck! Not material! So much f$@ing s&&%

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Wait, the Flynn confession wasn't material? is that it? Yeah. *&%$#$

What the heck! Not material! So much f$@ing s&&%

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Context, NHJ?

Ok .

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

First off, Bill Barr combines the worst qualities of Jabba the Hut, Luco Brazzi, and Benedict Arnold, and toss in a couple of child molesting Bishops too. Getting to 8 is an achievement, but to put it in perspective, I made 8 about eight or nine months ago, and I'm probably at least three times farther from the 9 level as you are from the 8 level. But persistence counts, you'll get there. And since this is the pinata group, fuck Trump!

[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Anything past 21 for Mr. Remedial Math is a hundred, a thousand or a billion. Whatever sounds about right according to his gut at the time. Gotta trust that gut, you know? Who says there are 50 governors? CNN? That's fake news! LOL

Here Comes a New Donny Boy Freakout: [palmerreport.com]

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Yeah, I was wondering why I haven't seen a blithering idiot level tirade about this. I'll be on the lookout for it.

How come?????

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

They only want access to coloring books.

1 man, leopard skin pants, BIG hair. Any guesses?

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Go get him Ax-man! But, to be fair, you did encourage him to "Use Your Illusion". Twice. This undoubtedly fed his "Appetite for Destruction". Heh. I kid, buddy, you did a great job here. Rock on!

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others ...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

This covers both the good things you do for others as well as the awful things you do to others. Legacies can be either good, bad, or mixed.

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

When I heard this joke the first time, the punch line was - The fourth sign she sat under said "Nixon's the one!" Goes to show you, the classics never ever get old.

Trump says "No-one I have invited to join my Coronavirus task force has refused"! Why would they?

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

As I recall, this task force is comprised of family members and guys who sucked his mushroom correctly. So yeah, why would any of those types refuse? I can see Bill Barr in the Luco Brazzi role, too.

Here she comes...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

I am guessing she had an infectious smile, right?

I was at the grocery the other day and saw a lot of this...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

So, is it still ok to wear your underwear like that? Um, one of my buddies wants to know.

"In a just society the liberties of equal citizenship are taken as settled; the rights secured by ...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

I'm trying to come up with a credible example of a just society using those metrics. Give me some time here.

"Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the party, and they're sure trying to do ...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

In spite of his wacky policy ideas (and there were quite a few), Sen. Goldwater was a man of integrity who never backed down from a position or flip-flopped on an issue. And he had the right idea about preachers and republicans, yeah?

THE FOUR BIGGEST DREAMS OF MEN: 1.

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

These days, my dreams eventually get to a point where I am looking in the dream for a place to take a leak. Then I wake up, and have to get up and take a leak. I suppose they could be more aspirational, but when the bladder expresses an opinion, I pay close attention.

Economists Warn Many Businesses May Never Reopen As President Trump and many Republican ...

zeuser comments on May 7, 2020:

Be careful Johnny, those roaches will lie to you.

Here's a new one ....[agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

It's amazing that his brain can generate enough power to move his lips. I've scraped stuff off the bottom of my shoe with more intelligence and sense than this fuckwit.

Happy Hump Day!

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

It's a miracle the species continues to survive. In the desert, every hump is a dry hump.

bearly there [agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

Nothing quite like whipping your teddy.

“Compared to what we ought to be, we are half awake.” — William James

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

Which half?

I actually have several questions.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

That woman was built for kicking some ass.

Trump stop f@cking with this virus.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

There's something you can never un-see.

Trump, and buddies, are opening the country to.... [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

Usually, the repubs are loose with other people's money. As bad as that is, this is worse because it's playing fast and loose with other people's lives.

I know a few of these faces.

zeuser comments on May 6, 2020:

I know a fair number of these.

Ah nature!

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

I've got both in my yard. The woodpeckers are far more annoying than my hummers. I've had the woodies attack my house in two different places I lived. You can chase them away, but you can't convince them to stop it.

bikinienvy [agnostic.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Awww. I gotta give her credit for not hiding that light under a bushel basket.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, ...

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Experience is important. For example, I can acknowledge one bit of wisdom that I gained that way. Here it is. Before undertaking any endeavor, large or small, take a leak first.

Ride the (2nd) wave - This is no longer funny.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

It's not just incompetence, it's also greed and a complete indifference to human life.

Because it's behind a paywall ,,, Could Trump Go the Way of Herbert Hoover?

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

I'm gonna guess Hoover was never in massive debt to our foreign adversaries or subject to blackmail so much so that he allowed cheating by foreign actors to win and conducted a deliberately destructive and racist domestic and international agenda meant to destroy the very country over which he presided. Good guess?

"The most common lies a man tells are to himself." ---- Friedrich Nietzsche

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

I'm much too handsome and much too intelligent to tell myself any lies. LOL

Yeah, we got you on tape bragging about sexual assault, dipshit. [thehill.com]

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Does our pussy grabber in chief really want to have this conversation?

Please, please, please.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Cheatin' bastards, each one of them.

Really, now, how are you all doing?

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Awww, I know you just want your carrot, but thanks partner.

I don't like the members of the Lincoln Project.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Principles and integrity beat out ideological differences for me in this case. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Adult Happy Meal.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Do you get a coupon for a quarter-pounder? LOL

None of this is our fault!

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

The Meoff brothers, Jack and Jerk.

Another great ad from The Lincoln Project, this one very helpful to turn the Senate Blue! ...

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

Those are my guys! Go get 'em!

It seams tRump surrounds himself with brown nosers.

zeuser comments on May 5, 2020:

I guess if they could perceive any depth, they would stay away from our orangutan half-breed.

I can actually hear him say this!!!!!

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

And what one hell of a job they are doing. Right, you fucking assbag?

Another great ad from The Lincoln Project. [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

I love these guys! I am supporting them financially. If you have the wherewithal, I encourage you to do the same. If not, share the fuck out of the ads.

Owning assault weapons turns you Transsexual! I've always suspected something weird was ...

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Hey, it's worth a shot. So to speak.

The World is Talking About The Donald. What's your Spin on the Conversation? [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Here's a big part of it. I guarantee you there isn't one person in the white house who has the balls to tell him that everybody in the fucking world is laughing at him. Not one. If one of them does, the talking yam will fire that individual. I mean like immediately.

Something funny

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

When the ride is over, who gets the bill?

Was he Check, was he Spaniard?...

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Completely different accents.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - A.H. Weiler

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

If you have a problem, and money can solve that problem, and you have the money, then you don't have a problem. Heh.

Good information. Why liberals are wrong about tRump. . . [extranewsfeed.com]

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

I KNEW it! This is information we can all put to use!

Yet Another Tragic Pandemic Tale Right Out of LA Paid a visit the other day to an old friend ...

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Now THAT is what I call a bad hangover!

Corn Alert Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Oh man, these are right in my wheelhouse!

How many more months...

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

Without the neighborhood bars to, um, socialize in, and relying mostly on my own cooking, I've been managing to hold pretty steady. I've also limited shopping trips to once every 4 or 5 days (since it's such a production now), so my impulse buying has also declined. Not sure just how long that will last.

Makes some kinda sense.

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

I'd check with the cat, but he's in a box.

Making friends as an adult....

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

What works for me is discussing the various surgeries and medications that we have in common. An amazingly intimate level of adult bonding.

LOL 😄 Don Lemon Asks Trump: Why Are You So Obsessed With Obama?

zeuser comments on May 4, 2020:

It's a mystery all right.

If he actually existed:

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

Satan is fictitious, our guy is all too real.

🤣🤣🤣 (Spoiler: Trump is the horse.) Horse Loose In A Hospital [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

I LOVE John Mulaney. This is, as usual for his comedy, insightful and hilarious at the same time.

[youtu.be]

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

Cats have minds of their own, don't they?

Philosophy..it is the talk on the cereal box.

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

Yeah, why'd we invite that Schopenhauer asshole again? LOL

“Folks are usually as happy as they make their minds up to be”..............Abraham Lincoln.

zeuser comments on May 3, 2020:

I'm not sure you can think you are happy, you have to feel it. It's not a set of circumstances or a destination. I've always thought that happy people have no idea they are happy, they are just doing something that they enjoy or that makes them feel good. Now, I think people can convince themselves to be *unhappy,* but that's a different bag of potatoes.

Covid-19 pushing people to the edge

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

Hah! For the record, I'm good with that.

Gotta watch this! Self-Isolation Fight Challenge - YouTube

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

Perfect way to get that aggression out with good social distance. Well produced!

How on earth can anybody go from this.

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

Choose your role models carefully. Unless you can't.

Chinese propaganda video - Once Upon a Virus

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

Ouch. Yeah, that's us all right.

Other "first words" on the moon: [iowaclimate.org]

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

That's better. Not sexist, too.

In case you were wondering

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

I miss Gary Larson.

Where did Trumpkins get the idea that he can do anything he wants?

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

His grasp of the constitution is about the same as his grasp of how to close an umbrella.

"We all have a tendency to think that the world must conform to our prejudices.

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking." Lyndon B. Johnson Let's change "men" to "people", LBJ won't mind.

Robert Burns: The best laid schemes O' mice an' men gang aft a-gley

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

Oh deary dear do I have a bunch of examples for evidence.

Funny meme

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

I'm more of a laudanum guy myself, but I wouldn't turn down a dose or two of that medicine either.

If your Dad wore shoes like this...

zeuser comments on May 2, 2020:

I had a pair of shoes like that. Lordy, those were the days. 8-)

A redneck bursts into his local bar and puts a completed 30 piece jig-saw puzzle of Donald Duck on ...

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

The classics never get old.

One of the faithful. [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Your friends are supposed to talk you OUT of this sort of shit, not keep feeding your insanity. Sadly, this woman has no friends, just co-conspirators and looney toon trolls.

Dear Leader's ego knows no bounds.

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Hey, hey, calm down everybody! You all need to realize that if you want to pick the perfect lie to cover your yuuuuge ass, you have to try a bunch of them to see which one is the best. I have to admit, this is better than the "Obama didn't leave us tests for a virus that didn't appear until 3 years after he left office". It's shorter, for one thing, and hey, who doesn't think the Chinese are miiiighty suspicious? When can we wake up from this ongoing nightmare?

Opinion is the medium between knowledge and ignorance. - Plato

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Ok, I can see that.

I would laugh, but.....

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Falls under the category of "be careful what you wish for".

the comments after are hilarious .

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

No one has ever claimed these guys had one smidgen of class, and there is no immediate danger that anyone will.

Oops trouble

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

That's cuz his sister is a little tattle-tale.

Trump has said he wants an investigation of China and WHO for under-reporting the virus deaths.

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

It's the out of sight, out of mind theory of pandemic management.

There are some really good ones here. Which is your favorite? [dailykos.com]

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

I like this one, "This turd in my pocket has a higher IQ than you. Would you like to ask it a question?"

😊 Is this really true? 😂😂

zeuser comments on May 1, 2020:

Generalizations like this are funny, Carlin meant it to be funny. I've never been a fan of humor than makes a joke at the expense of some group, here men or women, but it could be blondes, polaks, jews, latinos, millenials, and so on. Reinforcing existing stereotypes, or creating new ones for those uninitiated, never seems to get anybody anywhere. But I also know you have to take risks for comedy. Just my two bits. This joke seems innocuous enough, but is it really?