Look out for granny

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

Rally big meals on wheel?

I have searched endlessly and I can only find medical doctors that are just practicing not one ...

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

I'd rather have a doctor in practice rather than one in theory.

“Nature has planted in our minds an insatiable longing to see the truth.

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

I'm not sure this is how it works for everybody, but it is a noble idea we all should aspire to.

Does it hurt when you talk? Lol

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

Hurts me. That counts, yeah?

While the rest of you celebrate Martin Luther King Day, Texas will celebrate slavery and Confederate...

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

Cmon TX, stop this horseshit.

Why does this sound like treason?

zeuser comments on Jan 20, 2020:

The cyber war guys wouldn't need any fucking uniforms. Cheetos and red bull. And some sushi. 🤣

Big oops there

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

I dunno. I'd wear it. It pays to advertise.

Have you ever noticed?

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

Technically, a bull's asshole.

The Trump Administration Weakens Standards for ICE Detention Facilities

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

Man, this has Steven Miller and Nazi motherfucker written all over it.

Dont let them get you down

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

For a minute, I thought this was my Tinder feed.

They are just coming out of the woodwork everywhere.. beware!

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

It would be a big improvement if both of them were fictional instead of just one of them.

Just heard about this on Morning Joy.

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

They got called on it, apologized, and said they wouldn't do it anymore. Tweet calling the National Archives losers in 5, 4, 3....

They are all around us! After a brief discussion, today, at my local supermarket, about how the ...

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

The bumper sticker left out the word "is".

Just like a kitty

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

Genie: "You want tuna? AGAIN?" Cat: "meowr"

A friend sent this today.

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

I'd like to buy this guy a beer.

Here's a group of conservative judges, petitioning to become President Trump's next appointment to ...

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

Good one, Johnny!

[independent.co.uk]

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

Like the marines, but pointless.

“Time spent arguing is, oddly enough, almost never wasted.” - Christopher Hitchens

zeuser comments on Jan 19, 2020:

You can argue for a point of view in a discussion or a debate, but an actual argument where emotions substitute for logic is, in my experience, pointless.

Evolution of language.

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

Oh FFS. JFC!

Great headline!

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

The swans were totally lying to the poor goose. "Are you sure you're geese? Something feels, I dunno, *off*" "Oh hell yeah, we are for sure geese! Keep stroking Tommy!" LOL

Let us begin a petition to cut the Press Secretary position.

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

When she talks, the resulting stream of horseshit is uniquely odious. In a way, I'm sort of glad she isn't giving press briefings so we are spared both the ball-licking obsequious sycophancy and the unvarnished contempt for the press and the citizens of the US - trademarked by Sarah Sanders.

Two questions: 1.

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

Let's apply the Trumpian test for guilt vs. innocence, it's foolproof. "Well, he strongly denies it." There we go, innocent and pure as the driven snow, QED.

Ron Reagan says his father 'would have been embarrassed and ashamed' of Trump | TheHill

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

Ron Jr. is the one thing I can think of that Ron Sr. got right.

Me, coming home from work:

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

When you are talking to a beautiful woman, a minute goes by very quickly. BUT, if you are sitting on a hot stove...

In 2020 its important to get people the help they really need

zeuser comments on Jan 18, 2020:

I'm WAY past the first step. I'm at the "ok let's hang him by his heels" step.

I thought how can it be, worse than Moscow Mitch? But then I read on. [mediaite.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

I hope the Maine voters flush her ass down into the septic tank of history.

Hammered 🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

Nailed it.

“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.” - Mark Twain

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

Sad but true.

What about believing even if you know it is not true?

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

From a pragmatic standpoint, if you exercise a belief and it results in a positive outcome but for an unrelated reason, why waste your time on this kind of indirection? Wouldn't it be better to know what actually caused the good results so as to concentrate time and effort there, instead of accidentally getting a benefit because a belief happened to coincide with reality? Seems you could multiply the good outcomes that way by deliberately pursuing effective methods.

These are long overdue after a lifetime of blond women jokes! [scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net]

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

Well, I wasn't a big fan of the blonde women jokes or their predecessor, the polak joke. I can see where blonde women might see this as sort of a payback, but honestly, wouldn't it be better to eliminate this kind of humor completely? IMHO

"Rather than getting him to appreciate America’s traditional role and alliances, Trump began to ...

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

Don't lose hope, sometimes things have to go really bad before they improve. When your ass kisses bottom, there is no place to go but up. You have a lot of company, remember that.

Just something to think about.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

You can see a lot of automated trolls in the comments sections for posts made by people like Speaker Pelosi.

Trump team finally releases billions in hurricane relief for Puerto Rico — with major strings ...

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

The bozo at the top still thinks they are illegal immigrants.

Wow i did t know that

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

Hah, they fooled you. It's actually his stunt double.

Book Banning: Given the barely tolerated status of A/A's in the power structure of the U.

zeuser comments on Jan 17, 2020:

This has been a wingnut wet dream for decades, deciding what everyone else can or can't read. The dream is that everyone will read the bible and then convert to find jeebus after which they vote republican and persecute minorities. This is how it starts.

Federal agency publishes ‘bombshell legal opinion’ showing Trump’s White House violated the ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Whoa, he violated the law? *Now* he's in for it, am I right? 🙄

Tradeoffs.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Sometimes pushes you into a septic tank but you manage to get out. Do you feel OK? Happy to be out, but covered with shit, and a nasty memory that will never go away. Like that.

Is it bad that I felt nearly giddy as Schiff read the Articles of Impeachment?

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

I got the goosebumps.

Ukraine announces the right investigation.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

The ukies have it more together than we do. Y'all know why, right?

A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Yeah, that's how we roll here in North Kackalacky. 🙄🤣

We need an investigation to determine just what Saudi Arabia wants in return for their money.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

If it smells rotten...

Zero Fucks Coins Allow You To Literally Give Zero Fucks

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Why can't I have great marketable ideas like this?

I confess since Trump come in to power I (along with my wife) have become a bit of an MSNBC junkie.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Every democrat needs to stress this message running against any and every republican candidate. This is their republican shitpile, they have to be forced to eat a bite of it every fucking day.

Trump places restrictions on aid to Puerto Rico

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

It's not often we get to see actual malevolent and cruel evil at such a staggering scale.

...like an onion ring...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Always a pleasure. 8-)

Giuliani associate Parnas says Trump 'knew exactly what was going on' [nbcnews.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

I'm outta words on this one.

Putin just held a press conference in which he more or less appointed himself czar for life.

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

I can see where he might want to, but honestly his position is quite a bit weaker than Vlad's who has been at the top for 20 years or so. Our guy still eats crayons.

Mysterious ways my ass

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Of course he is!!

Trump raged against ‘unfair’ law prohibiting bribes to foreign officials: New book ...

zeuser comments on Jan 16, 2020:

Criminal asswipe.

Pope Francis assures atheists: You don’t have to believe in God to go to heaven | The Independent

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2020:

Wow. This changes everything. WTF?

“Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”...

zeuser comments on Jan 15, 2020:

I'm willing to give that a try. Let's get down to the last king and priest though. First things first. I'm all about logistics. 8-)

Y'all are gonna burn!

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

Well, neither is anybody else (ask me why not), so...

Dershowitz like Giuliani lost all credibility they might have had by becoming trump brown nosers.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

Given what happened to a lot of those people on his client list, you couldn't pick a better guy to issue a complaint.

Don't you wish they made a clap on clap off device for some peoples mouths?

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

An open handed slap across the kisser can have a similar effect. But then you are guilty of assault. So pick your spots.

“What do you most value in your friends? Their continued existence.” - Christopher Hitchens

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

Nothing you can do about that, either. My dad will turn 95 next week. All of his friends are dead. Except for me, all of his family is dead too. I shared this fact with my physician during a check up, and she advised me to start making friends with younger people now. It's good advice for anyone.

William Barr, Trump’s Sword and Shield (A fascinating and detailed account of Barr's history and ...

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

Jabba the Barr is in a race with Moscow Mitch to see who can destroy the republic from within first.

“I try to deny myself any illusions or delusions, and I think that this perhaps entitles me to try...

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

I generally change the subject. Saves everyone some time.

Dating after 50.

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

I admit I have turned around and walked away after that telltale hint of mothballs.

Accurate depiction!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

Oh I remember those fuckwads. I stopped shaving when I turned 18 to protest the war and the draft, and I received unbelievable abuse for simply having visible facial hair. And now, their window licking offspring are back at it. SMFH

This showed up on my FB memories so I thought I would share 😊 On a recent trip to Petsmart, I ...

zeuser comments on Jan 14, 2020:

I bet she ate crayons when she was younger.

Please no!

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2020:

This was bullshit when I was 18, and almost 50 years later, it's still bullshit.

Sounds like a republican

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2020:

No, no, he just has a wide stance. LOL

Public service announcement

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2020:

I got 9 last night. Didn't help. Like at all.

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity”...............George Carlin.

zeuser comments on Jan 13, 2020:

Hey now, I've done that...well, the screwing part at least.

Hey, now there's an idea! Don't like Mexicans, no tacos for you ya racist fucktard.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2020:

That leaves spam, Kraft cheese, and mountain dew. LOL

How country are you?

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2020:

Oh man, that is so down home.

Nevermind the lies he has told, those lips have had a lot of action.

zeuser comments on Jan 12, 2020:

Yuck.

Faster then draining the swamp!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2020:

The big ones always float to the top, don't they?

Questionable fashion choices

zeuser comments on Jan 11, 2020:

Y'all being too harsh. Those boots make a fashion statement. That statement is "At least you're not looking at my chest."

Warning! Though it's possible to date someone who believes in God, it is not possible to date a ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

Yeah, I had a similar situation. I put up with it for 3 years. It's in the rearview mirror now, no regrets. But man, it could've been awesome. Ah well, next play.

"If you don't forget about sex, sex will not forget about you.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

I dunno about that.

😂😂😟Last to go.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

That gag is pretty cornea.

“It seems to me that liberal and humane people, of whom there are many among us, would, if they ...

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

Conservative nazis, on the other hand, consider cruelty to be a requirement and something to aspire to.

[finance.

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

To be fair, I believe the First National Bank of the Caymans calls them 409 accounts, for plausible deniability purposes. Deutsch Bank is going to follow suit.

Today's brain teaser

zeuser comments on Jan 10, 2020:

There's some teasing going on, but the brain doesn't look to be involved.

They are pleasing to the Lord.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

I've heard that the vinegar, sea salt, and smegma flavor is the best one. I saw it in People magazine, as I recall.

Jealous Kim

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Too fucking close to the bone to be funny.

That escalated quickly!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Ouch! That is gonna leave a scar.

Fred trump in Coney island

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

The orange didn't fall far from the tree, did it?

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Bill can be a horse's ass sometimes, but he gets it right every so often.

I'd trust the words of Gul Dukat before I would trust anything Trump said.

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

He looks better than our guy too.

Could American Evangelicals Spot the Antichrist?

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

Even if you think biblical prophecy is mostly horseshit, which I do, you gotta admit that's a lot of coincidences.

A word of advice to ALL trump supporters!!!!

zeuser comments on Jan 9, 2020:

How about the KGB?

Thanks to Agnostic.

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Lookin' good partner! Don't let the 7's try to snow you into showing them the secret handshake. 8-)

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Where have all the flowers gone? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1tqtvxG8O4

I want to know, how many people understand sarcasm?

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

I got a prize for him. I'll give him the prize of his life.

Explains a lot

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Statler and Waldorf always know the scoop.

George Lopez doubles down on Iran's bounty on Trump's head: 'We'll do it for half' | VozWire

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

The trumpers who are mad at George have a point. From now on, comedians should limit their comedy to making fun of the disabled. Now THAT shit's funny. Mocking dead people is ok too. Or maybe it's just funny if #IMPOTUS does it. Not sure what the rule is here.

Yup good point

zeuser comments on Jan 8, 2020:

Maybe MLM?

Iran's parliament declares US military a terrorist organization. [cbsnews.com]

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

And with our current fuckwit in chief, they are not wrong.

So, here is a story about some of the bible thumping Pseudo-Christians in our midst, although it ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

There is this, and I think it's accurate. > " It turns out privilege is just like money — you can never have too much of it, especially if you believe in a zero sum game where your every failure is the result of someone else’s success. This is exactly why equality feels like oppression to people accustomed to privilege.

Trump officials are bending over backward to say he didn't threaten to commit a war crime after he ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Thug move. Keep intimidating, keep hitting, keep swinging the baseball bat to the knees. A lowlife criminal approach to, what can only described as loosely, foreign policy. This is like your big brother holding you down and farting in your face. And the typical response, just like all the other responses to challenges to this Vichy administration, ---- what are you going to do about it? Holy fuck, what a goddamn nightmare.

this just in: Trump declares that the reports of an earthquake, and after shocks are fake news, ...

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Objective, verifiable and provable facts mean nothing to this deluded and stupid *president.* I am, almost, out of pejoratives.

They all deserve this..

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

I think it's more accurate, a big improvement.

Our "president" is threatening to commit war crimes and is threatening our ally with sanctions.

zeuser comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Criminals gotta commit crimes. Traitors gotta traitor. What can I tell you?

Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

I paid the extra hundred bucks for the aisle seat on the express train to hell. All my pals will be there. 8-)

Must be Monday funnies 😉😀

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

You don't want to see how I look in the mirror most mornings.

Wow funny

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

As the last alpaca said, "Fuck that!"

Okay, Bolton says he will testify in a GOP Senate travesty trial.

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

I dunno, he could just clam the fuck up. Allowing his testimony opens a can of worms, so I'm sure the republican wisdom, if that's what you want to call it, is just shut the fuck up.

Ivanka and Trump Organization linked to Suleimani’s front company

zeuser comments on Jan 6, 2020:

Like the Corleones would whack the guys that they pretended to be friends with after taking the money, yeah? This looks like the Sopranos, only the characters are less endearing.