Imagine that...

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2019:

Listen to Dick, you dick.

Amash pledges to join Democrats to impeach Trump [thehill.

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2019:

One thing politicians love is a bandwagon. When it starts to roll without them, they'll run as fast as they can to jump on. Our job is to get it rolling.

...here's tomorrows news a little early

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2019:

One of these days, I think he may look up some of the words he uses in a dictionary - or someone will do it for him. When he finds out what they actually mean, man will he be embarassed! Ha ha ha No, no this will never happen, he'll go to the grave more ignorant than when he was born, and he will never ever be embarrassed. By anything. *sigh*

Un-fucking-believable!!! 😱 🤯 Shoot Them in the Legs, Trump Suggested: Inside His Border War...

zeuser comments on Oct 2, 2019:

Yeah, that's our boy all right. All the stormtroopers he hired will be there after he goes, too, whether it's now or in 2021. He is an awful parody of a human being, and embodies all the vicious instincts of his vindictive and cruel followers. What a nightmare.

Resign! Resign! Resign! Forget impeachment. Donald Trump needs to resign [bostonglobe.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

With Nixon, Spiro Agnew was already gone and we had a relatively benign replacement lined up in Gerald Ford. With our current arsehole in chief, we've got closeted gay bigot Pence who's major achievements during the last two years consist of keeping Trump's brown shitstain off of his nose and his pubes out of his teeth when he smiles.

Laugh, it is good for you!

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Did anyone happen to get Aunt Carolyn's number? Asking for a friend.

Speaking of natural born citizen...

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Use it to decorate your cell, you bigoted self-pitying hippo.

[media.giphy.com] Not My Mayor! I think they should play this in Times Square NYC 24/7/365

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Drunk Uncle Rudy. What a wanker.

So Trump ain't Putin's puppet? [nbcnews.com]

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Hey Vlad, can you make him talk while drinking a glass of water, too?

Talent is cheaper than table salt.

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Being ready when the opportunity comes, because you worked hard to get ready, looks like luck a lot of times. But it's not, not really.

Yup special kid gotta love them

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

As the years passed, little Jimmy would grow up to be famous Mafia boss Jimmy "Kiss a Fish" Leotardo.

How do you feel

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

If you are a republican who refuses to give up your integrity, you have a lot in common with Ana.

BREAKING NEWS: Live Shot From The White House

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Mick Mulvaney: Women and children first! Orange idiot: Fuck the women and children! Mike Pence: I didn't know that was an option!

Spelling is important!

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Maybe she meant "farts", yo?

5 tips for a woman...

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

As a former "laugh guy", I can go along with this. Good advice, ladies.

GOOD!! VERY GOOD!!! Intelligence community watchdog debunks whistleblower conspiracy pushed by ...

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Ok, let's hear the character assassination of the ICIG start in 3, 2, 1..... I bet these guys are dumbfounded that everyone seems to be able to accurately predict their next move every time.

William Barr Had President Trump Ask Australia, Britain for Help in Russian Interference Probe

zeuser comments on Oct 1, 2019:

Barr may have to go back to his previous job - playing Jabba the Hut at kids' birthday parties. He was good at it, too.

Oops shouldnt of said that

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

So what?

No obstruction?

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

I don't trust Moscow Mitch. He is a treacherous son of a bitch.

Just got a phone call from "the Republican National Committee and President tRump.

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

I got a robocall here before his absurd Fayetteville rally about 4 or 5 weeks ago.

The "president" is inciting his followers to civil war if he is impeached for his crimes.

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

It is grounds for impeachment. Just exhibit ITMF #6825521301.

Kellyanne Conway launches an insane sexist attack on Nancy Pelosi — 'she only backed impeachment ...

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

Well, if Kellyanne says it, it's got to be true, yeah? LMAO

Sean Hannity in Mommy Dearest..

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

Yuck.

Trump's latest impeachable offense: Threatening the life of a CIA officer | VozWire

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

To be fair, there isn't exactly a shortage of impeachable offenses to choose from, is there?

I think my greatest contribution to this group is memes.

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

Nice range of ideas here, Alt. 8-)

The Trump Impeachment.

zeuser comments on Sep 30, 2019:

I don't foresee anybody investigating Biden; I could be wrong there. Having said that, I believe Biden's wave has crested and that he is on the downslope of his candidacy already anyway.

Yup makes sense

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2019:

The fools enable the liar. The liar is serious, the fools are abominable. I don't see "ridiculous" figuring into this.

Donald Trump Impeachment Inquiry Is ‘Doomed To Fail,’ Says Ken Starr

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2019:

Ken Starr's credibility is right there with used car salesmen, carnival pitch men, and flat earth enthusiasts. He's a dickwad in a suit, with no conscience and the integrity of a meth head trying to get you to give them money.

Since i live alone yup

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2019:

In the bathroom too. And the car. Anywhere I sit down, to be honest.

Missouri man flies to California, sets 13 wildfires, and tries to fly home, cops say

zeuser comments on Sep 29, 2019:

I guess this idiot sure owned the libtards on this one. 22 years puts this moron at 90 when he gets out, unless he dies first or gets a parole or something. SMFH 🙄

This would be hysterical! He'd probably be like the Bergermeister Meisterberger and make whistles ...

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

Oh man, that is simple, but brilliant! Gimme a hashtag, I'll help promote.

Great article! [theconcourse.deadspin.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

Yeah, that all rings a bell. A lunatic with zero mental capacity and the nuclear codes.

It's subtle

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

From the collection "The Breast of Vampire Humor".

For those who remember 45 years ago, and those who know how to use Google.

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

I remember that guy. He said he wasn't gonna mention it unless somebody asked him. Well, they asked him. This is one reason why committees conduct inquiries on shit like this, you never know what kind of answers you are going to get.

and thus it starts

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

When there is no more money to be made from exploiting his "victimhood", I believe he might well resign, especially if a couple of republican senators start to review their calculus and begin to turn on him. When one goes against him, a shit-ton will follow. You heard it here first.

There are hidden calls with Putin and MBS. [cnn.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

Of course there are. They will all eventually be revealed. The truth always comes out.

Couldn't help but laugh

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

Although this was personally humiliating for Miss Lewinsky at the time, she has managed to bounce back and make a career for herself in spite of the negative attention. At the very least, she wasn't a porn start at the time, and nobody paid her off. I think she even went so far as to tweet in response to the Stormy affair. Like the character Tyrion Lannister said, own your weakness, then nobody can use it against you.

Why am I not surprised?

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

We found out about Nixon's tapes pretty late in the game. This sounds like the same kind of ham-handed approach, and all of those calls will eventually be made public and will work against the nylon-haired moron.

Russia instructed Trump not to release transcripts of calls with Putin: report [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

I like how Lavrov refers to Trump as "a partner".

McConnell says that if the House impeached Trump, the Senate must hold a trial [pbs.org]

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

If there was some political benefit to not holding the trial, that's what Moscow Mitch would do. As it stands, there is no benefit. He is running for re-election himself. Can you picture the attack ads that would follow if he pulled this shit? Plus there's every reason to expect a trial to result in an acquittal, so why would he invest his personal political capital in a pointless show of dick measuring? Now I don't doubt he'll set rules that will be to his obese buddy's benefit, limit debate, and possibly try some roll call trickery, but he'll hold the trial all right.

The dam starts to crack: Kentucky GOP lawmaker wants investigation of White House’s server ...

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

I'd like to hear a LOT more from the IRS whistleblower who reported undue orange tinted influence in the auditing of a certain fat bastard's income tax returns. When it rains, as they say, it pours.

What are some things you trust more than Trump?

zeuser comments on Sep 28, 2019:

That is hilarious!

Finally confirmed!! NRA Was 'Foreign Asset' To Russia Ahead of 2016, New Senate Report Reveals ...

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2019:

Let's lance that NRA boil for good.

Too funny.

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2019:

Maybe we can rub them out? (ducking)

Thats fucking stupid

zeuser comments on Sep 27, 2019:

Weapons grade stupid, each one.

The movers and shakers in the GOP must, by now, be deeply regretting their decision to back Trump as...

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

Lots of his fellow Republicans are retiring. They can see the writing on the wall.

Republican nunes tried to deflect attention from trump with wild claim,they are desperate

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

Nunes is such a tool, totally in the bag for the orange shitstain.

How long will it take for this group to dissolve after 45 is impeached?

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

Never celebrate until the end of the story is actually finalized. We can talk about this when that orange face is coordinated with an orange jumpsuit.

This is the beginning of the end for Trump.

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

You'd be surprised how low the R's can go. They will be with this sinking ship until it dips beneath the surface.

...well, he's not wrong...😆

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

Is it any plainer that his first go-to move is ALWAYS projection?

The latest Borowitz.

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

I'd be hurt too. Poor autocratic bastard.

A few memes from Facebook

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

I really am enjoying the naked hypocrisy you find comparing statements from clowns like Lindsey from when Slick Willie was in the hot seat. Complete unabashed hypocrisy.

Oh this is getting good. [bloomberg.com]

zeuser comments on Sep 26, 2019:

Make some popcorn!

Me at gym

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

This is a "me too" moment I can relate to.

Pentagon letter undercuts Trump lie... [npr.org]

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Well, how about that. Shocked the shit out of me. RME

Imagine his disappointment . . and all those ruble lost too

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I always said, give this idiot enough rope.

My favorite from Twain (and good advice)

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

This was Lex Luthor's theory.

OHHHH this is too funny.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

No, no they are serious patriots trying to make america great again. Hey, just jivin' y'all. They are incompetent ideologues in over their heads, Mariana trench deep.

Lets play a game.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Deep asshole.

Trump Administration Threatens to Withhold Highway Funds from California [thefiscaltimes.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Oh FFS. It's grandstand shit. It will not hold up under legal challenge

FYI.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I've given money to Senator Harris. I am gonna give money to Senator Warren, I think.

More like greta vs chuckles the pedophile clown

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I know it's a play on the Wall Street statuary, but the symbolism is wrong. It's more like Marty Feldman playing Bozo the Clown vs. Captain Marvel. But that isn't a play on popular symbolism, so it would make a shitty cartoon. Still...the bull here would look more authentic with a couple a piles of bullshit scattered around.

A frightening thought: When the House of Representatives Impeaches tRump, did you know that when it ...

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Moscow Mitch has a serious challenger who would chop his ass up if he pulled this - and for what, to stop a vote that should go along party lines? I'm not saying I'd put it past him, but I doubt it.

You can tell she must have had fillings for him

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Aww, the poor guy..

Trump call .

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

And, ya know, even if this was rewritten or edited or whatever, it is just LIKE this dungheap of an administration to edit it so that it is STILL impeachable. Un fucking believable. Can't wait to hear what the whistleblower says about this transcript, and about a lot of other things.

Trump call .

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I read what they did release, and it's plenty bad enough for the talking yam.

But what were you wearing? And a prayer.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I was never a big advocate for prayer, but I can be persuaded, in just this one case, to make an exception.

Sounds good to me

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Now THAT'S what I call a roadmap.

If the Senate fails to convict and remove tRump, how will future historians write this chapter of ...

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

It depends on *A* if the backlash against the republican senators who defended DJ Shitstain will materialize, and *B* if it does, how severe it turns out to be.

Ok, I just got this overwhelming feeling of dread. Could this all be a set up?

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I don't think so, Julie. First, I doubt they are capable of that kind of strategic cross-agency planning. Second, we have several very public incriminating statements made by the naked emperor and his, um, legal counsel. Third, we have the history of projection suggesting that what this orange idiot says other people are doing he is doing himself. Fourth, I think there are people on both sides of the aisle who are fed up and tired of his redolent, ceaseless, high-volume spray of absolute horseshit. One man's opinion. May not turn out like we want, but I do NOT think this is a set up.

Newton invents homosexuality.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I *thought* he might be involved. The apple, of course, is a fruit. (ducking)

Perfect love it

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Yup! Don't let the shitheels get you down, Greta!

Trump uses Twitter to question the patriotism of whistleblower in Ukraine scandal | VozWire

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Our president, using character assassination and innuendo based on nothing but speculation against a legitimate government employee who followed legal protocol to lodge a complaint deemed credible and urgent by his own IG appointee? Hard to picture. No, I was kidding, it's par for the fucking Trump-owned course.

She has a point

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I don't trust people who don't fucking swear. They let it all build up, and then show up with an AR-15 one day.

Be best y’all!

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

I know, right? I thought at least some makeup and wardrobe tips from her, but nothing.

Ya think tRump is bent out of shape tonight?

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

A little impeachment music, Johnny? When the walls come tumblin' down... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PErUiAyVoGc

Trump mocks teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg - CNNPolitics

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

It's easy to believe. Anybody with more than two brain cells to rub together can out-class this demented old shithouse of a president.

He is unfuckingbelievable.

zeuser comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Rick Wilson called him a “gigantic shit golem animated into a husky-sized suit” the other day. Ha Ha Ha

.

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Nice compilation, WB.

I took myself to lunch ! When I was still dating an over-the-top god person, we discovered this...

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

These days, it's just me more often than not. One thing about it, it's a LOT cheaper.

So Senate GOP votes with DEMs to on the whistle blower report .

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

I think it's more that they want to issue a republican authored version of the story that comes out of the house hearings.

Rudy Giuliani blabs to Fox News' Sean Hannity his Ukraine talks were ordered by the State Department...

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Ahhhh, I love the smell of flop sweat in the fall.

Lmao perfect

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

You wore THAT outfit?? 8-)

Trump's dreary U.

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

What a putz.

Who’s your favorite scientist and why?

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Linus Pauling. He won two Nobel prizes, the chemistry prize, and the peace prize. More personally, I read something he said years ago that galvanized my atheist beliefs. He was asked what he believed as an atheist, and he answered, "I believe all complicated phenomena can be explained using simpler scientific principles." I've been quoting him in response to that same question for the past 45 years, and it resonates with me just as much today as it did then.

OH NOOOOO!! 😳🤣😂🤪 Singing Vagina Promoting Yeast Infection Treatment Sends Christian ...

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Even with this kind of uproar, my bet is that at least one and maybe more of the Christian moms is going to give this treatment a try. Beats scratchin' yer hooha all day.

I believe today, is the day.

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

I hope you're right, buddy, but he's completely without shame and has a complicit majority in the house of congress that must convict. He's like one of those blowup toys that always pop back up when punched in the face. I hope he is impeached, but the true recourse is voting him and his majority senate henchmen out of office in 2020. I wish it were otherwise.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

The classics never get old.

Who indeed doesn't like the ocean?

zeuser comments on Sep 24, 2019:

All the cacti and tumbleweeds on Google have votes too, Frank.

Very good question😂🤣😁

zeuser comments on Sep 23, 2019:

I never knew there was a term for that! Every day, this group educates me.

TRumps view of immigrants Perhaps we need a group that's funny but not funny.

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

Truth in advertising. The truth part is how I know it's not from the talking yam or his subsidiaries. Those guy's NEVER speak the truth, except maybe inadvertently.

Don't argue!

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

True. I figured this out a while ago, but it bears repeating. Don't waste your fucking time, guys!

Meme time 🤣🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

Some profound ones mixed in with the funny ones, but they're all great Heidi.

Caught, all of them

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

I gotta remember this one. 🤣

I haven't been to a funeral since my dad died in 2010 and I just got back from my ex-mother in law's...

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

My dad, who is 94 and has no living relatives but me, said he wants to be cremated with no viewing and no funeral. He said he always disliked going to wakes and funerals during his life and he wanted to spare everybody that ordeal. I told him I'd handle it.

Walmart installed a medical kiosk, for $10 and a urine sample, it would diagnose any condition.

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

Never try to fool the lab.

What to do with left over trumpers ?,no not really

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

This was the preferred method of getting rid of bodies on the old show Deadwood.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣truth🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

This is the time of life that when you either sit down or stand up, you feel the need to make a little sound.

Bangs for me are out of the question.

zeuser comments on Sep 22, 2019:

Do they give special rates for gangs?

Love this funny meme

zeuser comments on Sep 21, 2019:

Har har, a little liquid wrench might be necessary to get things rolling.