“It is self-evident that cows do not have the.

zeuser comments on Nov 27, 2019:

With that type of sharp legal reasoning, how can he lose?

Dont think it will work

zeuser comments on Nov 27, 2019:

It's worth a shot.

Trump distancing himself and throwing Rudy G under the bus.

zeuser comments on Nov 27, 2019:

That's the playbook. If he can't claim Hillary or Obama did it (projection is first), simply deny it without any basis at all.

A best friend I've known for years said he ended his FWB relationship cause she was falling in love,...

zeuser comments on Nov 25, 2019:

I've been on each end of that particular seesaw. Everybody has their own reality, sometimes you share it with them, sometimes you don't. If you have an open and honest communication, everybody should make it clear what their expectations are. If you settle into a one-sided emotional relationship comfortably, it might be all right, but it might turn toxic too. One thing I do know, it is almost impossible to change a deep and sincere love into something more like friendship. But once you make the decision and cross the bridge, set it on fire. In any event, let your heart lead you, all the best luck, and may harmony find you.

That's clever

zeuser comments on Nov 25, 2019:

One word. You run into enough assholes every day, no need to go looking for another one.

Donald Trump Is God’s ‘Chosen One’ To Be President, Says Rick Perry

zeuser comments on Nov 25, 2019:

Best argument for atheism that I've heard so far this morning.

Master Po, why is kung fu so hard?

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

Now, take the pebble from my hand.

Would you attend this dinner lol

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

Oh hell yeah. I'd make a potato salad to bring. And champagne. Let's not forget the champagne. 8-)

Someone’s spelling error will be a sore point for quite a while?

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

That is one hell of a lot of assholes.

I saw this the other day and thought it was amazing how similar things are today.

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

I remember reading this column when it was first written back in the 70's. It was hilarious then, and scary how similar it is to what they say these days.

I can hear them

zeuser comments on Nov 24, 2019:

On the bright side, I don't have to pay for the sessions.

Conan strikes again

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

If he could get away with it, he would do just that.

Learning to pray when times are rough is less important than learning to be Human..anon.

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

Unlearning to pray is more important still.

Oops found out

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

Well that saves some time and money.

On the page where we describe ourselves here on Agnostic.

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

My response would be: "The best!"

[forgifs.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

You're posting in the wrong group. You're looking for "Joust for Laughs".

Says something about her

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

And when she says it, she says it with feeling.

Par 4 Could be dumpster new golf billboard

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

Squeeze 'em, Nancy, slow and tight.

Trump says that he is treated worse than any president, maybe the 56th anniversary of JFK's bad ...

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

Pause to reflect? A number 10 cast iron frying pan across the face would work better.

Yup lmao funny

zeuser comments on Nov 23, 2019:

Finally, a place for me and my peeps!

Naughty fairy tale lol

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Nothing like a little morning wood.

I was raised Catholic.

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Well good for you, you made the right choice. Now, the next level is sex *inside* a church. 8-) Good luck to you, brother.

They look cute and cuddly, but the slightest thing can turn this beautiful creature into something ...

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

"Watch where you put those paws, mister!"

I thought this was a joke.. WTF Trump..

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

With a fucking sharpie. Yeah, that's our guy all right.

PEEING ON MY FLOWERS A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic ...

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

See, this is why I avoid that sport.

Who benefits if corruption continues in Ukraine? What if .....

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

I KNEW it!

Another trump cocksucker with corruption charges, his answer.

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Domino number one?

Hmmm.... I wonder what the answer is.... 🤣😂🤣

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

It's a puzzler all right.

Forbidden love lmao

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

This is where we need the yuck emoji.

On the beautiful breasts of Miss Hale Was tattooed the full price of her tail On the lovely behind...

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

I'd still like to know who that guy in Nantucket actually is.

‘A complete sham’: Anger grows over report GOP senators met with Trump to map out ‘rigged’ ...

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Every one of those peckers that met with him ought to be forced to recuse themselves. The removal counts with a 2/3 vote of everyone present.

Poor Mikey Milquetoast [politics.theonion.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Keep trying, ignore the load you just squeezed into your shorts and grunt harder.

It's a movement.

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Droppin' the deuce in chief.

Is Trump a Russian asset?

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

I don't think this is even in doubt anymore. I'm not sure what Putin has on him, but I bet it's a doozy whatever it is, and it's probably more than one thing.

You don't have to!

zeuser comments on Nov 22, 2019:

Hard to tell what he's calling you with your kutas in his mouth.

"It's not normal when I know I'm smarter than the President." -- Wanda Sykes.

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

Get in line, sweetie, you've got a LOT of company.

PresidentPelosi trends after Sondland testimony implicates Pence in Trump Ukraine scheme ...

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

Good, let's get rid of that white-haired closet cocksucker. Pompeo should get the boot as well.

Mike Pompeo called on to resign or be impeached himself [rawstory.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

He's been talking about resigning to "save his reputation". He wants to run for the senate in Kansas, where they are politically just to right of Hitler, so maybe he shouldn't worry too much about it. But if it gets him to quit, great. The only problem is, who would be the next guy?

A young man is taking a driver's test.

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

As an older gentleman, I think this kid has it all wrong.

Trumpsters On Kimmel Don't Know The Difference Between Nixon And Trump Unbelievable.

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

Keep cutting education funding and encouraging private religious schools and home schooling. This is what you get.

Mike Pompeo reportedly told Republicans he plans to resign to protect his reputation.

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

The horses have already escaped. You want to close the barn door? See if that works, you Nazi smegma fuckstick.

Trump is on record as saying "I am the POTUS and I can do anything I like without question"! Lets ...

zeuser comments on Nov 21, 2019:

After we kick him out, prosecution for treason is entirely possible.

Sondland says therw was a quid pro quo. [cnbc.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

He just wants to stay out of jail and get back to running his hotels. He may not get either wish.

Now I want to go shopping at this store.. 😁

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

No, no, I think they have it right. LOL

While Jim Jordan and republicans were attacking Lt.

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Does the republican base really identify with the contempt for government and disdain for the rule of law displayed by the rude and pointlessly offensive performances of Jordan and Nunes? Does that kind of shit really play well with anybody at all?

Oh My 😂🤣😂🤣

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Ouch.

I'm in danger

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Uh oh.

If I were Donnie I'd be looking for my fly fishing waders, he's in such a sea of shit now! :-)

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

This will freeze up his heart or cause an artery in his brain to pop. Walter Reed Hospital ought to make up a suite for him for when it happens.

Tuesday trash talkin' 😀

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Granny knows the story. And this is why I stopped eating Chinese food (for a while at least).

Eeeeewwwww! :o

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Stan Lee's New Green Deal.

Don't know if I'd really do this 🤔😂😂

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

The guy who did it is will be called this for the rest of his life.

They kept calling me four-eyes, so I decided to up the ante. :)

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

That's how they did it before they invented progressive lenses.

Evidence of time travel

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Proof positive, no doubt.

Gollum! 😡 Stephen Miller planted anti-Rubio stories in Breitbart during 2016 campaign, leaked ...

zeuser comments on Nov 20, 2019:

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Rubio has knife marks on his back, Miller's fingerprints are on the knife.

This adminstration could have been so fabulous.

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Don't drag her into this.

He got it right

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Same situation in your nutsack.

Would Goat L be a hotel for goats?

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

I didn't like this gag at first, but it grew on me.

"For any of those who wait and say tomorrow or the next day or the next, should know that today is ...

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

This looks like a perjury trap to me. I take the fifth.

Last night Joe Biden states marijuana is a gateway drug and he will not legalize it.

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Joe's been known to "evolve" his thinking, and I'd hope he would do that here. If he sticks by this, it would be a factor in my voting decision along with many other factors.

Trump statues for dogs to pee on pop up in NYC

zeuser comments on Nov 19, 2019:

Good idea!

Not the job he hoped for.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Tastes like capusta.

Is this you too

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

I'm saving up, though.

😄😂😅🤣 GOP congresswoman’s impeachment hearing stunt fueled a $1 million fundraising ...

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Good job, Elise. Try it again why don't you?

'Foster' delivers Trump's morning briefing.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Who's a good doggie? LOL

Trump's visit to Walter Reed 'not protocol' for routine visit, source says.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Maybe they are going to xanax his ass. Why not add that to the mix, right? Xanax and adderall, chopped up and snorted. That will be a LOT of fucking fun.

Gotta Love Louisiana [wbrz.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Ouch. That's why I always frisk before accepting the invitation.

Trump turns on Pompeo as diplomats star in impeachment probe [nbcnews.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

When paranoia takes over, pretty soon *everybody* looks like your enemy, even if they aren't. This is the sad state of our current POS-OTUS. And Pompeo will learn, as others did, that when you are loyal to a crazy MF, your time in the barrel eventually rolls around.

Safety first

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

A+ for creative problem solving. F for common sense.

I'd date me.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Dude...

Taco Bell goodness.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

BT, DT.

Trump is invited to testify before the Impeachment committee [pbs.org]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

He'd have to testify under oath, like Bill Clinton did. And when they caught Bill in his blowjob lie, that's when they impeached him for perjury. Our guy would lie if you asked him what time it was, just for the practice.

SCOTUS's Decisions on Trump’s Taxes Could Be Bigger Than Impeachment [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Let's see how the "strict constructionists" view the ridiculous legal arguments his lawyers have advanced as a defense. I'll believe they'll rule against their moronic messiah when it actually happens.

Such a good movie! Lol

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Yeah, that's our guy with his, um, "posse".

Tazer Stun Gun Laughed til I cried! LOLOL! Long but funny.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Jesus tits, this guy tazed himself? I'm surprised he decided to write about the experience, that has to be extremely degrading. Goes to show you what some folks will do to get attention.

He believes Putin, and Putin's playing him.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

A lot of this was in the op-ed, just more fleshed out and probably with additional similar stories. I don't disbelieve all of them, but some of them seem like a reach, even for this chubby orangutan. Here's the thing: I think a lot of this stuff is absolutely true and probably doesn't give as many details as when it actually happened. The anonymity of the author doesn't improve the book's overall credibility, because it lends itself to exaggeration that nobody can refute as such.

We can hope he has more than discomfort! 😄🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 Trump Chest Discomfort ...

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

I still think it was a panic attack. You know, like the kind Tony Soprano used to get.

Little red riding hood is walking thru the forest one day.

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

The struggle is real.

Great News - it is good for you

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

What if I fuck fast? Does that count twice?

I asked 100 women what their favorite soap in the shower was?

zeuser comments on Nov 18, 2019:

Now THAT was a good one, HM.

I'm not as think as you smart I am...

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

This guy is a hotel billionaire who bought his ambassador assignment. A criminal, but a stupid incompetent one.

Russia Loves the Impeachment Hearings Because GOP Is Parroting Kremlin Propaganda ...

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

They are openly gloating about it on Russian TV news shows.

Stephen Miller Can Push Racist Crap, but ‘The President Has His Back’ [thedailybeast.com]

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

All the racists stick together.

Not doing this

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

Could be another one somewhere down under. Mustache trifecta.

Your only as young as the woman you feel. —— Groucho Marx

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

The one, the only...

I AM A BAD PERSON! (Maybe.

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

If you can do it to some bozo who cuts you off in traffic, these fuckwads deserve the nuclear version.

You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind. --Timothy Leary

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

Dean Martin had his booze, Cheech and Chong did it with weed, and this guy was the absolute poster boy for any and all psychadelics.

The Trump Administration Is Making Immigrant Parents Pay $800 for DNA Tests to Get Their Kids Back

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

Hey, a buck is a buck, yeah?

David Koch Still on Wrong Side of River Styx After Refusing to Pay One-Cent Ferry Tax

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

Start swimming, you fucking prick.

Trump was by no means the first I got mine, screw you president

zeuser comments on Nov 17, 2019:

It's like reverse evolution. First I thought Nixon had to be the worst president of all time, but then we got Reagan. So Reagan was absolutely awful with his corruption and deficits and took over the "worst of all time" title, but then we got Bush. Trillions wasted on stupid wars, a near depression, deficits exploding out the ass, had to be the worst we'll ever see, but now we got tangerine twinkletoes. Does anybody really want to let another republican try to drive this trend even lower? SMFH

New equiptment for white house staff

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Very snappy way to make your political statement.

From my septic guy – unbelievable Not really funny but maybe we need an unbelievable ...

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Just what we need in our already microplastic infected water system, glittery shit.

Completely out of the blue last night, a person known to me only via online/text and having never ...

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Pathetic, cowardly idiot, yelling at his computer screen.

There are so many on Facebook this morning.

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Some dandies there, Julie!

And he continued.....

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Dumbasses gotta dumbass.

Stole this from facebook

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Timmy knows what to do.

Groaner alert

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Poor man's bondage. Works well if you suck at tying knots.

I guess I will join the religious joke day 🤣

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

These are becoming popular in shopping centers to control internal traffic. Around here, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. I like 'em.

SO proud of Adam Schiff! No, he's not glamorous or charismatic.

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

When the room broke into a spontaneous standing ovation at the end while one of the republican gasbags was trying to say something after the meeting had been gaveled closed, I literally got chills, and I found myself up on my feet in my living room joining in.

What is your personal belief as to why Trump is fighting to keep his income tax and any other ...

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

It's more than just one thing. You can almost hear his lard ass starting to sizzle as he gets slowly lowered into the fire he himself started.

He has said all along he doesn't want to win.

zeuser comments on Nov 16, 2019:

Ok, I can see the reason behind this run now. Spend away, Mr. Mayor.