A couple were shopping.

zeuser comments on Apr 1, 2019:

I can relate!

Feeling too depressed for good humor.

zeuser comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Attaboy Adam! ?

The Church of Satan isn't having it... LOL ?

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

The Satanists are good folks. I understand their concern here.

It was just about this exact hour, one year ago, that I stumbled across Agnostic and signed up.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Keep it coming brother, we can handle it!

I just want to tell everyone I am so pleased to have found this site.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Welcome to the monkey house, hon. ?

We paid for it!

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Looks like we are going to keep paying for it one way or the other.

so this is the real reason!

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

It wasn't for lack of trying.

Settle for moderate to boring sex?

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Not easy being you, is it? How does this guy feel about all of this? Have you talked with him about it? In anyone gets too comfortable with any given situation, they are stuck in a no-growth zone. For some people (like you buddy, for example), that is the goal. It doesn't seem to be where you want to stay. If you don't make a change now, things will probably deteriorate between you two as resentment becomes the default for both of you. You can either change your situation or change your mind. That's all I got, LH. Good luck, hon.

Warning: You can't unsee this. Parental advisory required.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Where's that nauseous tag when you really really need it?

Conservative writer zeros in on the Republican Party’s ‘painfully obvious’ vulnerability — ...

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

When you can't argue ideas, you attack people personally. That's how this whole crappy party is now rolling.

Warning: You can't unsee this. Parental advisory required.

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Ooo, a mangina. At least he shaves it.

[youtu.be] Is it wrong that I find this so funny?

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

WTF?!

In 3 words, go!? I'll start: Oh, okay. AND?! Or Take some jelly!

zeuser comments on Mar 30, 2019:

I'll miss you.

What's the best anti-Donald Trump joke you have heard?

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Never piss next to someone who looks like an orangutan. That's just a good general rule.

Breaking News: Trump will not be competing in this year's Special Olympics.

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

A lot of the special Olympians are pretty good athletes. I doubt the yam-like doughboy could credibly compete.

Death Threats and Drained Bank Accounts: Life on the Wrong End of the Mueller Probe - POLITICO ...

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Gee, that's too bad. Hey, who do y'all like in the Duke game tonight? 8-)

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Honest misunderstanding. Heh.

Rhett Butler would have approved

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Things are about to get a little hairy.

Here it is.. quick and dirty overview we want to see.

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

The naked truth.

Good job kid? keep it up!???

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Give this kid a lollipop!

Such a vain fucking prick...... [twitter.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Assbag of the century, no doubt at all.

As I left my house this morning I noticed a small boy on the side of the road with a cardboard box ...

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2019:

it happens.

Should the American call for a general stike if Bob Barr refuses to release the full report by ...

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2019:

I'd save the strike as a third or fourth escalation. You need to build widespread momentum to be effective.

A great cartoon that sums up Barr's summary.... [scontent.fmia1-2.fna.fbcdn.net]

zeuser comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Yeah, that's about right.

I love Japanese girls, they really know what to worship! (Kanamara Matsuri).

zeuser comments on Mar 27, 2019:

We have women who support 45,which is sort of the same thing,am I right?

Bullshit. Teathugliscums care only about Rich people.

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Well, his ignorant base is literally that stupid, so...

Your mom annoyed you? Do this? booooom!?????

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Ouch!

GTFOH! That's all that was saved?

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Did you thank her for leveling the rest of the house. Cause she did that too ya know.

How many here would settle for this arrangement?

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2019:

My late mother, who expressed herself in a very earthy fashion, told me that couples stay together "as long as you are both willing to swallow each other's shit". It is always a crap shoot in that respect.

Mitch Mcconnell is a scumbag! [alternet.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Mitch? A scumbag? Wow, that's shocking.

Yours Truly: 25 March 2019, I look like such a dork! Messy hair, but it's me. (Pic)?

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Looking good, sleepy! If someone calls you a dork, say "I prefer to use the term 'smarter than you'". ??

And we're off and running for Benghazi 2.

zeuser comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Like network TV, which is evidently the model we are now using to run our government, if it gets good ratings, produce a spinoff. The ignorant "base" loves this shit. It was once the case that we valued intelligence and creativity. Ah the good old days, back when people were literate and proud of it. I don't even know this country anymore.

Memories March 24

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2019:

These are all great!

Mueller did not find Trump campaign "conspired or coordinated" with Russia BY STEFAN BECKET, ...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Stay tuned, more to come.

Now, this could entice me to join a church.

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2019:

If you're Jewish, it's corned beef. With potato salad.

Trump isn’t smart enough to understand how the Supreme Court is about to disempower the presidency...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2019:

This is some scary shit. As powerful as the oligarchy is right now, things will get Russia -level worse because the president is an idiot. I understand Costa Rica is friendly to American expats.

What happened the last time the GOP tried to install a fascist dictator (interesting article!) ...

zeuser comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Treasonous pricks flock together, don't they?

Not the most masculine he man

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Where's the nausea tag when you need it?

How “Case for Christ” author Lee Strobel fabricated his best-selling story – Alternet.org

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2019:

So an unabashed fraud manipulates truth while claiming he is using logic and hard investigative techniques to confirm the superstitious beliefs of gullible people for money? Wow. That's gotta be a first, no? RME

This is why I don't drink strong liquor. ?? I'm laughing so haaaard!??? [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2019:

You'll notice he didn't sing. Yeah, he was a little horse.

Parody post

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Oh, I have a suggestion! Ask me! Ask me! 8-)

Naked Men Orchid - perfect talking point at dinner

zeuser comments on Mar 23, 2019:

I'd stay away from the nectar...

I got a good laugh! 😅😂😅

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2019:

This joke is sort of flat.

Fears next election will be decided by Americans.

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Don't laugh, it could happen.

Show us your bone spurs! Vietnam Veteran Ex-Senator Tells Trump How To Silence Bone Spur ...

zeuser comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I always liked the senator.

If John McCain's ghost wrote Thank You Notes

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Even dead, sharper than a talking team.

Trump’s untruths about Veterans Choice illustrate the sheer audaciousness of his lies Trump ...

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Man do I hate this fuckwad.

Trump Has Now Shifted $1.3 Million Of Campaign-Donor Money Into His Business [forbes.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 21, 2019:

The grifter in chief. Robbing the country blind so his trailer trash base can claim they are owning the libtards. Meanwhile, their Healthcare disappears. It's like a conservative fairy tale.

What do you know, Johnny Carson did mention Trump. [m.facebook.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Does the talking yam know Carson is dead? I doubt it, cuz he'd attack him if he did.

Hiding...…..

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

I got the divorce, it was cheaper.

He keeps going and and going and going...

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Arsewipe, shit stain, moron, liar, jerkoff, fuckhead, narcissist, bigot, misogynist, con man, huckster, nazi, and.... The face of the Republican party. SMH

The Facts Matter - Rob reiner

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

I hope so.

Another potential relationship ruined because I won't be in a threesome with him, and his god.

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

I'm sorry, hon. Better to find it out sooner rather than later. Don't give up!

REFERENCE A IS MARINE CORPS ORDER 5802.

zeuser comments on Mar 19, 2019:

One more dick move from an administration filled with witless dicks.

Going through my memories in Facebook and cracking myself up.

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I love both of these. ?

Lololololol ..yeah redhats!

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Fucking move there, you dimwitted bozo assbags.

...once again, proving that the jokes practically write themselves.

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2019:

You mean Tim Apple's buddy, Joe Scranton?

When guys shave their beards.. This is how I react...

zeuser comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I trim it for the warmer weather when April rolls around, but right now, it's pretty bushy. If you don't like beards, I don't care. 8-)

So is this one of those sick and hateful Trumpite things or is it just a mentally deficient people ...

zeuser comments on Mar 17, 2019:

Looks like the jerkoff sign to me.

Are flies attracted to waste matter? Even if it's a Fox news commentator? [youtube.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2019:

If you turn up the sound and listen carefully, you can hear little bug gags when it realizes where it is.

Found! Jared Kushner's application Essay for getting in.

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2019:

Yep, that's him all right!

Positive thinking

zeuser comments on Mar 16, 2019:

You think they're born that dumb, or do they have to "grow" into it?

I will scratch it for you😜🤣🤣ayiiiii!

zeuser comments on Mar 14, 2019:

What do you mean by that crack? ?

Silence isn't the only thing that's golden

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2019:

We can learn a lot from the simple porcupine.

Golf clap anyone?

zeuser comments on Mar 13, 2019:

That's nothing, I won the Master's three times in a row! (Fun tip: It's easy to do if you lie like a rug.)

The following is a true story: at a former department store that existed throughout the Northeast ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2019:

Yer doin' it wrong, lad.

How do you feel about trump diverting money from education (10%), EPA (31%), Medicaid and Medicare ...

zeuser comments on Mar 12, 2019:

The budget is DOA, and the talkimg yam and all the congress Republicans running next year will wear it like an albatross. Politically very stupid.

Sorted a big box of old pictures. Scanned a few...

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

It's fun to look back! Lookin good too, hon. ?

Trump Denies Calling Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple.

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

Of course he later changed his story, claiming he used a verbal shortcut to save words and time. Unfortunately, saving his own mind, credibility, and simple humanity is a lost cause.

Did you hear about the Explosion at the Cheese Factory in France?

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

I hear they are moving their entire operation to Israel. Yeah, they are renaming their company to "Cheeses of Nazareth".

Looking forward to International Atheist Day!

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

Around my house, every day is atheist day. We celebrate life before death. 😊 Usually with wine. 🍷

She's baaaaaaack!

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

Nancy will get to the bottom of this.

A young man who is seen in numerous commercials and men's clothing ads was being interviewed by a ...

zeuser comments on Mar 11, 2019:

Happens to me all the time. Heh.

A tongue-in-cheek article that actually had conservatives outraged.

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2019:

Of course,it's all true. Heh.

Trump’s base can’t handle the truth: He’s wrecking their economy [thehill.

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2019:

It's easier to fool somebody than to convince somebody they've been fooled.

A friend mentioned an acquaintance who voted for Trump, and she expressed some animosity towards ...

zeuser comments on Mar 10, 2019:

I have friends who I know support the orange asshole, but they don't usually talk politics and I'm not sure if they vote. I have no issues with them. I used to have friends, however, who felt it was necessary to proselytize for the yam's policies and were publicly and loudly borderline or open bigots. When I started getting screeds on social media, I dropped them like a hot potato. I don't regret cutting the loudmouths loose, and I always retain the option of doing it with my complicit but silent Trumpers, who are primarily motivated by demonizing the libtards but who keep it to themselves. It's complicated. People are more than just the politicians they support, though that does open a window into their thought processes, but they can also have other views with which I agree. Anyone who initiates bigoted inanity to me, however, will usually not have me as an audience for any subsequent performances.

Or stay home, drink beer and choke your chicken.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

I'm in.

For sure.

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

They all freaked when he wore a frigging tan suit, FFS.

Especially the last one:

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

This is a cliche now, but I literally laughed out loud on this one. ?

Mr. Potato Head ?

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

I hate it when that happens!

John Kelly Unloads: Working for Trump Was Awful, and His Wall Is Stupid Trump’s former chief of ...

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

Kelly is a weak willed twat, similar to if Hitler fired Himmler.

President Trump celebrated Super Bowl with founder of Florida spa where Robert Kraft allegedly paid ...

zeuser comments on Mar 9, 2019:

Two words: franchise fees.

[rawstory.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2019:

I have no words.

Why I hate Melania Trump She was rude to Michelle Obama: [yahoo.

zeuser comments on Mar 8, 2019:

A leach, a poseur, a dimwit, and available as your escort for tonight for only two billion rubles.

How many would do this? ???

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

I'd be careful with that shit in Philly.

Good article about Congressional oversight: The Washington Post: Trump’s defenders are telling ...

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

The "arguments" we are hearing are lies and logical fallacies tailored to appeal to uninformed (and, as far as basic American civics is concerned, uneducated) people, claiming contrived victimhood against constitutional reality. When the press points it out, the carefully conditioned 'fake news' response gets triggered. It's awful, people are eating this horseshit up.

Just on news Joe Biden could start campaign against trump next month.what do you think

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

That ship has already sailed. Joe wasn't on it. I love the guy, but let the next generation have some air.

How many of us are there in NC?

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

Well, you've got me here in Cary, just west of Raleigh. Granted this is part of a (relatively) liberal part of the state, but it's certainly not San Francisco or Austin. There's a difference between how many actual atheists and agnostics are here vs. the ones who actually admit it.

What did you hear me say? Them's fighting words.

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

You need a better pre-date questionnaire. Also, try to concentrate on guys with better hearing. Sorry this went down the shitter for you. Keep trying.

...coming to a Thrift Store (or Cracker Barrel) near you soon! Original story-->[facebook.com]

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

Oh, FFS. Where are all of these assholes coming from?

A CPAC summary [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

I could only get through about a minute of this. Pence is possibly even creepier than his boss. Oh,and Jerry Falwell can blow me.

Best. Website. Evar! [TrumpHotels.org]

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

I hear they are bidding on the 2020 Democratic National Convention. LOL

Just a suggestion?

zeuser comments on Mar 7, 2019:

It's a party tip!

Nothing about this or anything tRump/pence are doing overseas is Good! NOTHING! [npr.

zeuser comments on Mar 6, 2019:

Who feels safer now that dick-lips negotiated with the North Koreans? Anybody? Anybody?

Oh, so that's how Jesus did it.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Jesus was one tricky bastard, am I right?

A few memes I collected.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Yeah, these are in the funny/not funny category. Some good ones here.

Bill Shakespeare!!

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

You don't argue with the Bard of Avon.

Blatant fear mongering by the GOP.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

This calls to mind a quotation from philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer: "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Hi y'all.

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

As others have noted, there's a heavy bible thumping presence in the triad. I might be wrong, but Winston-Salem might be dry; however it is deadly dull. Asheboro, where the zoo is located, is in fact dry. Not sure if that makes a difference to you. I love the triangle, but you're right, it costs more than other parts of the state. Further west is pretty, and affordable - places like Boone, Asheville, Blowing Rock. Mount Airy is a funky little town. Good luck!

Can anyone else relate to this? :) [youtu.be]

zeuser comments on Mar 5, 2019:

Ouch. Well, this cuts a little bit too close to the bone, you know? Not that it makes any practical difference in the way things go for me anyway. *Sigh*