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How would you have handled a situation like this? You open your home to someone you've met a few times and they seem stable enough and are employed but down on their luck and need a place to stay for a short time. Then one morning something snaps and they fly into a full wide eyed rage and start yelling at you about seriously disturbing events from their childhood and their problems with their own children. Then the yelling escalates to full blown screaming that they're having a mental breakdown. Would you have called the police, withdrawn from the situation immediately or tried to calm the person down? I tried the last one but that only made matters worse as they packed all their possessions into their car and headed for the east coast. I'm having a hard time believing this actually happened and will more than likely never extend a helping hand for fear of being bit.

anonymous 7 July 9

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29 comments

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2

I wonder what the dynamics of the situation is. That the person who helps is the only person available to take out their frustration? Well done for trying to help and fully understand if you're reluctant to do it again.

11

You did the right thing for someone who needed more help than you could give. I probably would have handled the crisis the same way you did. You tried, what happened was not your fault. Hang in there, brother.

zeuser Level 8 July 9, 2018
11

Difficult situation I hope both they and you are ok. I'm really unsure if I'd have done anything different there's no right answers and I hope you're not blaming yourself

Salo Level 7 July 9, 2018
8

Having a lot of mental illness in my past..,I think that you did the right thing. If there is a mental health clinic near you, I would have suggested they get professional help. I would not call police. When a person is in that much distress, the last thing they feel cozy with is the police! And few police now days have the insight, or patience for a person in great distress. Mental illness does not equate with ‘law and order!’ There is a good possibility the person having the ‘meltdown’ released some of their anxiety and was ok afterwards, even though they left your place. Maybe they will contact you later and let you know they are ok.

Wouldn't bet on it .

@Cast1es no, nothing is for certain...maybe death!

6

At the risk of sounding selfish and uncharitable, there usually is a correlation between people who have nothing including a home or any sort of stability, and a disturbing to dangerous degree of instability at the root of their lack of such things. I've been burned quite enough, due to my generous nature and strong sense of compassion. Never again will I open my home to the undeserving.

Deb57 Level 8 July 9, 2018
6

I've helped out friends in the past by giving them a temporary place to stay. Sometimes it went well, sometimes it didn't. I know that I did what I could, and I wouldn't change anything. I think you handled it well, and thank-you for trying.

6

Tough call man. People to people reactions are almost random. It takes a person with alot of self control to not let things like this happen from time to time and even then some things are just out of your hands.

6

Seriously? I'd change the locks and get a security camera. Then, I'd reconsider my (very admirable) instincts about helping people I don't know well by offering entrance to my home. It's a shame, but...it's your home!

6

I would have just let them alone till they had their conniption fit over. Don't feel bad you tried your best, they are the one that has the problem. You are lucky that they left before they went really nutty.

5

Be very very very very glad that they left of their own accord and didn't force you to evict them....or didn't destroy your house first.....or kill you in your sleep.

Now, change your locks and don't do that again.

5

I really tried but I have had bad experiences on at least four occasions so I just quit. I'll help them out but not invite folks to live even for a short period of time. I have had things stolen several times and really stabbed in the back on another occasion. These were folks I knew for years but were down on their luck. I have to admit they were all "Christians."

gearl Level 7 July 9, 2018
5

I have done this before & will do it again. I have been bitten but I’ve also had wonderful experiences. You cannot let another’s bad behavior dictate how you behave & treat all other people. I’m not suggesting that you should open your home to anyone else - but don’t let the bad person prevent you from doing good. If it is possible to help & the risk is relatively low - there are people worth helping in the world. ???

5

You did your best, that's enough.

5

Can't do anything with crazy.

5

I've opened my house once to a down and out friend; never again.

It's not worth the frustration.

5

Im a sales men you see and i knock door to door. Some times when I knock on a door one guy will tell me I'm the best sales men he ever seen and the next will call me a piece of shit.. U have no control over certain interactions and to try is a waist.

5

No good deed goes unpunished.

5

This happened to me, as well. I tried to help my brother.

Now, I've just disowned him.

I won't be dragged to crazy land, family or not.

@BobbyJaan I don't see that it's your job to address it. Especially if it's being broached in such a brash and erratic manner.

@BobbyJaan Sorry for your loss.

@BobbyJaan There are people (as you found out),with anger,boiling just below the surface,waiting for word, or phrase to set them off. You might call a help line and get their take on what to do,perhaps they can put you in touch with counselers?

@BobbyJaan If you know the route,calling the Highway Patrols to advise your concerns,would be what I'd do. Suicidal? Angry at the World? Very emotionally unstable right now.

@BobbyJaan Probably inevitable.

4

Wow that’s pretty specific. I’d say them leaving was the best thing for all.
I let my ex stay with me for a couple weeks that became a couple months, and he thanked me by breaking into my safe and wiping me out of $800. So, I get the hesitance to open your home to anyone.

4

Hugs , hon . Sometimes, no matter what you do , it's never enough . I've taken those in need in a couple of times . It seems to me , even though they said they only wanted help for a bit , what they expected was a sugar Momma . It wasn't enough that I provided rent free rooms for a year . They actually got angry , that I wasn't taking them out to expensive entertainments on my dime . You did good . You did the right thing . Hugs !

4

I don't see how you made matters worse by your actions. You stayed calm, you tried to calm down your friend who was behaving in an escalatingly hostile manner, and they left. That's a good thing. Mental illness is no excuse for expecting others to accept and endure their abuse.

4

Not your responsibility. You tried to help, you were unable to do that.

3

Unfortunately, things like this will be happening more and more as the economic situation in the United Stares worsens and the hoarders in the top 1% take more and more. People who have worked hard and played by the rules their whole lives only to find themselves slipping farther and farther behind will eventually reach a breaking point. And when a large enough percentage of the population reaches that breaking point, there will be class warfare.

3

I don't know the specifics of the situation, but the person you were dealing with sounds like they have some significant mental health issues. You did the best you could in trying to help them. Don't let the situation make you cynical.

3

You've learned a valuable lesson.

2

No good deed goes unpunished

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