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Excuse this posting if the question has been asked before.

Are you attracted to someone similar to you or someone who is different than you?

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By anonymous7
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Totally like me... Just like me.

If I could meet someone eXactly like me, but smarter, funnier, nicer, richer, taller, stronger, cooler, calmer and WAY more likable...

That would be amazing!

Athena Level 8 July 14, 2018

opposites might attact but christ, you don't want to live with them. I'd end up with an OCD, passive, pious, right wing, neat freak


I don't want my clone, I'm truly enough for one household. I want someone with someone who has strengths where I have weaknesses and who is the yin to my yang. We have to have some similarities, ie liberal and non believers (cuz I've tried it the other way and it didn't work) but we need some differences. Is there a middle ground in your poll?

Yes!! Core values must be the same. I was thinking more about my being a follower so I prefer a take charge kind of guy


I think you would need more similarities than not.

LouisD61 Level 7 July 14, 2018

Humans are a community building species, and we want to form communities with people of similar beliefs, mindset, values, etc.

That being said, I don’t want someone that is a carbon copy of me. Rather, I want someone that helps me to be more than I am. I want gestalt—the sum of us is greater than our independent parts. I want someone with a few similar interests and values, but I also want someone that is their own person as well.

fiferguy Level 5 July 15, 2018

Someone with similar values as me and similar attitudes. I CANNOT get along with religious conservative or new age types. Hits too close to home. NOPE NOPE NOOOOOPE. If I cannot stand the guy and his mentality, no way I can get intimate with him! o.O

Plus research shows those with shared values tend to have longer lasting relationships. Exceptions occur of course.


Both. And I don't necessarily mean I like people who are both (which I do and most are) so much as I am attracted to both types.

Compatibility is very attractive for obvious reasons. It's nice to be on the same wavelength.

If I'm attracted to the differences it's because those people bring me out of my comfort zone. Different wavelengths make harmonies possible.

geist171 Level 6 July 15, 2018

I enjoy having a core interest that we can bond over, but in everything else the last thing I want is someone just like me.

DaveMania Level 6 July 15, 2018

In the beginning, it doesn't matter. smile001.gif
In the long term, I think having the same outlook on life is definitely advantageous.


I'm attracted to women and last time i looked they were very different to me ?


I prefer someone with strengths that compliment my weaknesses.



I have always been attracted to people very different than me. Probably why none of them stuck!?!

@minhmeister Not for them! Strong woman tend to repel weak men. Good for me though.


Extraterrestrial or GTFO.


It's a mix, and I suppose that's true of most.

mordant Level 8 July 14, 2018

Neither. A mixture of both.

@minhmeister yeah, I saw that


Both really. However, people not like me tend to not be attracted to me and sometimes run in terror.

pixiedust Level 8 July 16, 2018

In my view, it's not important if people are attracted to the same or different people. Personally, I'm attracted to all types of women, as long as that have nice personalities, bright smile, sparkling eyes, authentic laugh, and of course, a delightfully, sexy physique , and yes, in that order ?

sellinger Level 7 July 15, 2018



Shared recreational experiences are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking.

With a healthy lifestyle, I exercise regularly and have a healthy diet. I am not attracted to sedentary, fat men.

A lifelong Democrat, I refuse to date a Trump voter. Shared values are crucial.

Alcohol dehydrates me and gives me a headache. Heavy drinkers are a turnoff.

I want a man who complements me. A former boyfriend and hiking partner, Dan, is calm, cheerful and a great problem-solver. An engineer, he has hilarious dry humor.

In contrast, I am high energy, intense and fast-moving. Dan and I were a good fit with different strengths. Alas, Dan moved to Utah.

Thank you!


I’m not super confident and am definitely not a leader. I prefer a guy who is more take charge (without walking over me).

Marcie1974 Level 8 July 15, 2018

@minhmeister yes, exactly


There's not a set formula for me. I go with what I feel and make the most of it.

onthefire Level 7 July 14, 2018

Similar in basic personality traits, yes. Someone who is a pessimist or moody or uninspired by possibilities? Nope.

AmiSue Level 8 July 14, 2018

I am a high strung extrovert. A chill introvert tends to bring balance to the force.

Minta79 Level 7 July 14, 2018

I’m flexible on hobbies but having moral perspectives in common is a must. From experience, a relationship can’t survive without trust and a sense of shared values.


Its difficult , maybe impossible, to say that you want a significant other who isnt in sync with the values that youve chosen for yourself
without automatically showing that you don't hold your own values in very high regard which means that you certainly can't ' appreciate ' someone
elses values cuz values just don't matter much to you !

@minhmeister ...sure , there are other things to consider besides the core aspects of a persons moral , psychological makeup but most are trivial in comparison and for someone who can't value the differences , they could probably best find a match for themself by using shallowness as the primary criteria , ha.

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