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FIRST IMPRESSIONS (from my first week, on this site.) i'm really not trying to be mean, maybe just a little dry, and analytical. maybe, you'll share your impressions, or experiences.

first: AS A POTENTIAL DATING SITE. of the 11 women i sent a friendly hello message to, or paid a compliment to, to test the waters, with nothing rude, suggestive, let alone sexual. just basically, hellos. only 1 replied. and maybe 2 a hovered, or viewed. even the women i've seen back online, since. the one woman was very nice. but, there was no flirting. oh, well. and, of course, no one local, wrote, viewed, or even hovered, on my profile. go figure.

of the roughly 60 people i viewed, or hovered, less than 6 even viewed or hovered me. that's 1 in 10. whatever. it's not like i expected more. it's an observation.

i imagine, that if you're a woman on these sites, like p.o.f., you get overwhelmed by the majority, which are men, who message, and such. but, to sit back, and only respond to incoming information, makes no sense to me. are you really trying to find someone, or just wasting time.

not a majority, or even most, but many, then turn around, and write their bio as some angry gross generalization about men, only looking for sex, and being dirty, aggressive, or working class.

that really ignores the majority of men that are polite. or much more subtle. like simply hovering or viewing, to see if you respond in kind. so, i gather, that like other free sites, people are passively shopping, not buying.

AS AN AGNOSTIC SITE: almost immediately, i had 2 religious zealots, follow me, and message me, about jesus. i blocked them. but, is there no where these people don't force their baseless beliefs on others. it figures.

as a dating site, or social site, i see the same page of people, everyday. there's not much to choose from. or not much variety. or more accurately, a wider area of browsing. but, i'll hang in there, and see how this goes.

i'm a bored bachelor. but, i have little hope that an overwhelming majority of people, on these sites. that are so called social, on any site, actually ever meet, in real life. yes, i can be cynical. it comes from over a decade of experience, online.

plus, there's still not very many people on here, overall. even with a high profile on facebook. and 25% of the population, that are not religious. so, it gets boring, fast, seeing the same faces, every time i log on. i blocked some people, just so i don't have to keep looking at them. yes, i can be an asshole.

even when i put the settings to 3,000 miles away. since i'm moving back to california, this fall. it doesn't seem very popular, and i don't see why. but, so far, i'm not very encouraged to take it seriously, for what i'm looking for. like, meeting people in real life, making friends, making friends first, for people that want to date. just date. remember dating.

it's embarrassing to admit, now, that i thought social sites online, would lead to meeting people, in real life. i don't understand the point, if that's all people want to do. i don't need fake friends, and surface networking, and flattery, and some people who don't even interact online, or just sit back and watch.

i guess, it's cool that men are social with each other on this site, and view, and comment. they're the majority gender that i've seen. and probably get as bored as i do. but, i still find it odd, that people click in on other people profiles, who have a heart, for dating, when they're just being social.

finally, i'm no bigot, at all, whatever makes people happy, is cool with me. i have an very diverse background, and life experience. and, i guess without so much religion, it's a safe place for various gender identities, and sexual preferences, to be here in greater numbers. that's cool.

but, when people play games, and change their status from other, to nothing, to woman. that's rude. in my opinion. 1 person, in particular, was messaging me, a few times. and acted insulted, when i said that i wasn't interested. but, they persisted, and told me to ask them questions. then, they made those kinds of changes in their gender, and never answered a single question, that they had asked me to ask them, in the first place.

frankly, i suspect it's the so called nigerians, that are more likely russians, and chinese, who want you to chat, thru some email service, not on the site. ugg. and they have 1 picture. and little bio. just to try and suck you in. "just ask" they say. even real people say, "just ask". ask what.

background. about 12 years ago, when i was new to online social sites, and dating sites. i ended up being, basically stalked, online, thru several platforms, for over 3 years. for simply responding to a dozen profiles, in maybe 3 months, tops.

before i figured out the con. and the 3 approaches. the quick ask after a few days, the middle ask after a few weeks, and the long con after a couple months. all from each single profile replied to. what a sucker i was, to even be polite.

so, anyway, that's my first impression. for what it's worth. i hope you find what you're looking for.

peace, and a fist bump.

anonymous 7 Aug 29

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34 comments (26 - 34)

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I appreciate your honesty and I feel bad that you're having such a negative experience so far. Have you joined any groups? I find most of my worthwhile interactions happen in groups where we all already have some common ground. Also, I get a much wider variety of posts on my front page. I honestly have not paid any attention to who hovers or reads my profile. I have only received positive interaction in the private messages. This site is still fairly new but people join every day so it keeps getting busier and more interesting.


I'm a poly guy and found someone we might date (life is busy for a few more weeks) without trying that hard. We'r just said hello and started talking. She's within an hour drive. I haven't had anyone try to sell me anything on here at all. Most of my posts are just me trying to be supportive to other non-religious people since much of what we get from those around us when we have challenges are "you need jesus" or some variation on that theme. That's almost criminal to me.

This doesn't seem suited to being a dating site. It seems more a refuge for people that don't want to have to hide their feelings about religion being bullshit. We are surrounded by bigots. If you could identify us visually, don't think we wouldn't be the most hated group in America. So yeah, having a place to go, just be myself, and not have to wear the kid gloves all day is grounding and helps my sanity. I use the site that way.

Besides, I'm poly and kinky... I'll use a site that appeals to those proclivities if I want to date. This doesn't seem the best tool for that job. This is more like someone handing you a paper towel when you asked for something to write on if you are using it to date.

Hopefully, your time here improves.


Suggest you check out Singles/Mingle/Chat. Several couples met in our Chatroom including me and Dan.


I got nuttin'


Aww. Sounds like you have lots of reasons to feel the way you do. I am lucky to say that I haven't had the same experiences - haven't had to block anyone yet anyway. I'm sure there are other ways to meet people if online sites aren't working.


There is no way I can read that.

It is not that hard.

@hankinohio It helps.


The nasty profiles are a filter for whiney types. The no response to a personal message is I am not interested in dating. If one is to engage in online sites with potential for dating, then one is going to encounter con artists. It is the nature of the beast & one can not change anyone but themselves. So toughen up & enjoy this unique site for what it has to offer. Many different groups, ideas & discussions on inumerable topics.


You're most definitely an Incel.

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