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I attended a family dinner tonight and when they stopped to pray, I began to eat my food. And I enjoyed the shit out of that food while they prayed. Never did that before. I usually just remain still and silent until they finish. This time, I said to hell with that and proceeded to enjoy my meal. I gained an ounce of freedom tonight. Feeling good.

Update: since we have some strong-worded naysayers let me clarify something. In the 10 years that I’ve been atheist my family has been extremely disrespectful towards me. I am not allowed to excuse myself from the table, room, or building during prayer which is my preference. I’m tired of turning the other cheek. If you think differently, fine. I’m respectful towards theists who are respectful towards me. All day everyday. My family does not fall into that category. So please take rude, judgmental comments and high horses to another post.

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At family dinners I always start to eat. Initially some of my religious family members questioned my behavior, learned really quickly not to! Lol

zesty Level 7 Sep 18, 2018

I am right there with you. The last time my family ate at my house, someone said "are we going to give thanks?" I responded with, "you being here is thanks enough. Pass the greens please." There are no more large family dinners at my house, just my kids & grandkids.


The portion of my family that knows, while not perfect, has been respectful towards me. My sister and I can actually have conversations and disagree without fighting about it (and even understand each other to some degree). My mother will make occasional “You may not believe, but...” comments but it’s more in the realm of slightly annoying than offensive. When my sister has her daughter, I will pause with them for grace and even hold hands as a courtesy. They say evening prayers together and I’ll say goodnight afterward, rather than join them for that. Sister and I have already discussed my lack of faith with regards to her child and she has no problem with me being honest about it, her asking questions, or even making her own decision. We have a mutual respect so we can make concessions for each other and it works.
I’m sorry that your family can’t come to terms with your decision. I didn’t tell my mother for years for fear she would disown me, so I understand that struggle somewhat. Do what you gotta do to live your values. I hope that it gets better someday, but I imagine you’re not holding your breath.

i get that. because they loved me so, they raised me such.


When they start tp pray look around to see who else might be looking around. If you find somebody wink at them. this person might be a friend.

Prayer is when you bow your head and start talking to yourself.

DenoPenno Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

I've done that at public functions. So much fun to see others looking around - even in church.


I prefer to just keep my eyes open and not bow my head. And then I look around and smile at the other heathens with their eyes open.

smox Level 4 May 6, 2018

This is how you find people there who are just like you. smile001.gif


Good for you! Wish I'd been a fly on the wall! ?

MichaelF Level 5 Apr 21, 2018

I am of the opinion that a person who asks you to follow their religious beliefs/taboos (knowing you don't believe), is not asking for your respect but your submission, which is something I will never give ... I did the same thing this thanksgiving .. an aunt of one of my cousins wanted to pray before the meal ..go for it, but I'm not waiting for someone to finish speaking to an invisible being

JaciBea Level 7 Apr 21, 2018

@pink123 exactly .. I think it's disrespectful of them to try to force you


You are brave. Utensil would have been thrown at my famliy table. I once in my brave obstinate teenager years said "Hail Satan" when someone said thank god. And the shit hit the fan. Anyway thanks for the chuckle.

Mokvon Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

I like it.


Good for you!
My evangelical family prays over everything. I usually go outside, or to another room, but I long ago stopped standing there, eyes closed, waiting. They are very disrespectful and judgmental to me. Especially after I came out last year as bisexual, and confirmed I’m agnostic/atheist. So my going outside is actually FOR them: keeps me from smacking somebody. ??


That's awesome and badass!!!

joeymf86 Level 7 Apr 21, 2018

You little devil.

Bobby9 Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

Go girl! If they can't respect your views then to hell with them.


So it's not disrespectful to force someone to pray bit it is for some one to start eating before their food goes cold ??? Enjoy your food while it tastes good and let them carry on casting spells the f they want I'm sure the younger ones will soon follow your footsteps

Simon1 Level 7 Apr 21, 2018

You made my day, Simon.


Here's a way to stand up for your (non) beliefs without being as disrespectful (in the opinion of others here). Let's say Mom made the meal. I'd sit quietly with my head held up and my eyes open while they say grace. Immediately after, I'd ask everyone to hold up a sec while I saidbecause I had something to say. Then I'd say something like, "I am thankful, too. I am thankful that the family can be together for dinner and that mom made this wonderful meal."
It shows respect and is not as confrontational.

MrLizard Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

Good on ya!!...

Charlene Level 9 Apr 21, 2018

Normally I would say that there is no excuse for rudeness (english) but family dynamics are something else. So you made your point. Did anyone pull you up? If they do say that respect is a 2 way street and take it from there.

273kelvin Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

Congrats! This is some southern level realness. Oh god it's so awkward in restaurants.

Virgoan Level 5 Apr 21, 2018

Awesome!!!! It's absolutely amazing how intolerant those who claim to have the answer can be.
I don't consider myself an IN YOUR FACE kind of guy, but if the button get's pushed Oh Well!

My idea of saying GRACE is..."I hope this stuff is safe to eat and the sanitation of the preparers are within the health standards....pass the potatas!!"

LOL, there used to be a tugboat on the Willamette River (Portland Oregon), the "Grace Willamette", so if - and always joking - someone suggested we say grace at the table, it was always a race to see who could yell out the name of the tugboat before we laughed, and then ate!


I....I think I love you. smile001.gif


You are brave. Utensil would have been thrown at my famliy table. I once in my brave obstinate teenager years said "Hail Satan" when someone said thank god. And the shit hit the fan. Anyway thanks for the chuckle.

Mokvon Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

I like your posts.


You should always be grateful. smile009.gif

JimG Level 8 Apr 21, 2018

Your post made me smile. You go!


Sounds reasonable to me.
Just because everyone else is playing a game doesn't mean you have to.
If they take offense to that....
So. What.


When I consider what you said able their past disrespect, you are totally justified in ignoring their BS and chowing down. Respect is earned clearly they failed to earn yours, so go for it.

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