Some advice to recently divorced people, especially if you were married for over a decade. Go to lunch or dinner by yourself. Go to a really nice place. Treat yourself. Have an appetizer and an entree, maybe even dessert. Take your time.

I know. It sounds horrible. But the hardest part for me was getting over the fear of being alone, and not just the fear, but the total lack of familiarity with being alone. When you've been with someone for a long time, it's bizarre when they aren't around anymore. You may be glad it's over, but it's still surreal.

For months after I moved into my own house, I kept catching myself starting to say something to someone who wasn't there, or doing things according to "our" old routine. It was so long before that stopped feeling alien to me, and it happened when I took myself out to lunch to celebrate a milestone.

So take yourself out and remember what it's like to just enjoy some time alone, content with your own thoughts. It'll feel freaky at first, but after a while, there is freedom in the experience, and strength. It's okay to be alone. I had forgotten that.