June July and August are tough months for me I have in order;
the anniversary of my mother's death
my parents wedding anniversary
my father's birthday
the anniversary of my father's death days before my birthday
the anniversary of the grandfather's death on my birthday
A friend was holding her 50th birthday on the Friday after the first one on the list and just before the second one on the list.
Work has been flat out and stressful
I did not go to her party
I saw photos of the people there and my first thought was thank goodness I didn't go look at all of the people.
Am I a really bad person?
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You are not a bad person. However, I WILL say that a change of perspective might be beneficial. I do not dwell on the date of the deaths of those I love; I choose to remember their beautiful lives and precious moments spent with them. Yes, grieving is necessary, but if it never ends, it is not good for you. The bottom line is this: every single loved one you have lost would want you to be happy, not spend the rest of your life grieving.
KateOahu
Level 8
June 14, 2021
1
I think that all of the events surrounding them ie I was at Sports Day when I got the phone call about my mum, I was at Sports Day that Friday, it is always report writing time and my last phone call to my mother was about getting my reports finished. So there are regular events that keep things popping back into my mind. My parent's wedding is also the same date as the Queen's Birthday weekend here in Australia and my nephews birthday. (So good mix in there) My father died the day after another friend's birthday and his funeral was two days before mine, my grandfather died on my birthday. So it is hard to forget these dates as they are closely linked to other events. It is not grieving it is a day we set aside to remember them.
Not at all. I've learned to embrace my introversion and not feel guilty about skipping functions I don't want to attend. You have a right to grieve in your own way. You could take your friend out to lunch, just the two of you. That's much less stressful.
TheoryNumber3
Level 8
June 14, 2021
1
Yeah I think it was all of the people who would be there and the small talk I could not handle.
@Budgie I completely understand. I had to go to my niece's graduation party the other day and there were about 60 people there. It was stressful but some things you have to do. Others I don't.
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