I'm hiding from the burning people as much as I can. What I mean by that is that as a collective we are burning ourselves due to the purposely structured information control being waged on us. It's like a crowd of people. Somewhere in that crowd of information, lack of, and dis/misinformation, is a lining of usefulness. As I do when I'm in crowds I'm quietly sitting back attempting to find a meaningful structure to feel normal in as an observer. I know something isn't right but understand it's the nature of the beast I'm forced to be a part of. My goal is to find a sense of usefulness and attempt to communicate it to others. Others however, as with politics that form society, are the obstacles we have to filter through to find the ultimate journey towards a better society. They always tend to want to block their own path while stuck in that developed illusion from bad information.

This quarantine has relatively no effect on me. I'm an extreme introvert who has always struggled with large crowds and very aware of my natural instincts. I'm a quiet watcher constantly analyzing. Humans bewilder me to a means I really hate being a member of. Much like being an American. While I know I live in a country that has the ability to be among greatness, it devours everything outside it and in. How do I find and feel greatness in such a destructive nature? We eat our own and most don't even recognize it. Everything to most of us is a number that leaves us selfishly. And a lot of that is among even our own circles. This taught me much about my own faith within my own circle. How can I have faith in humanity when within my own circle I've found such wavering loyalty, great deceit, and betrayal that always leads me back to the sense of selfishness.

I lived through 4 dead in Ohio as a child in the very heart of the town. As an adult I learned much more about it. I also learned a lot more of many massacres throughout our nations time. There are so many I won't even begin to try and list them. Native American's, African American's--whole towns--whole neighborhoods, Asian and Latin concentration camps, protest, etc----attacks on society with a genuine message or plan innocent killing sprees. I've posted about many of them on anniversaries here, and others some here probably never heard of. We may have been untouchable with 2 large bodies of water on each side of us, but that didn't stop us from our agenda to become colonizers as far back as the 1800's. We've been creating atrocities from the very beginning of European arrival. Greatness? Tell me about this greatness. As today we are sacrificing our own men, women, and children in many aspects unnecessarily. As this virus has exposed so much, yet we as a collective seem to again be missing the real need to react accordingly to benefit our society towards a better journey.

I wasn't alive back then, so the closest feeling I have to that was right after 9/11. Everyone stood away from the city and thought it was just a matter of time before the next attack.