In what capacity do you deal with them?

Mental Health Professional

I have to agree, but if you're on one of those dating sites, and are lucky enough to have people want to meet you for coffee after one email, you have to have some way to screen them out. Then I find myself looking for some reason to eliminate each one. I don't want to go on an endless series of first dates.

Who could forget?

I confess that my biggest nightmare would be to fall in love with someone who has a huge, intrusive circle of family and friends. No thank you

They're hard to find!

Texts are fine for "I'm running 10 min late". Trying to have a conversation by text is nuts, unless you've mastered the millennial "thumb typing" skill, which I haven't. Takes me 10 minutes to say what I could say in 5 by phone. On the other hand, I'm not eager to share my phone number prematurely. I've learned to be a bit more cautious through some experiences I've had.

I just lock into fear of the unknown cycle. Been trying to become more daring.

yes, I feel the same way as you

I don't know... there always seems to be some kind of deal breaker for me. I'd love to have a boyfriend. I just don't have the energy to go through the process. It should be easy, but it rarely is. The older you get, it seems, the more people's histories get in the way. I always cringe when someone says they have no baggage. If you've lived, you have baggage. It's called your life.

@LisaFultonave The expression used a lot is for one to step outside their comfort zone. Not too easy, though.

@TheoryNumber3 Yes, 'baggage' often has a negative connotation. I like to think of it as 'experiences.' The important thing are commonalities. It does get harder to find campatable commonalities as one 'matures.'

I agree, but that's hard work for an introvert plus outside the comfort zone of many. But... if you keep doing what you been doing, you'll keep getting what you been getting.

@LisaFultonave - Good for you!

I wonder if it's coning into contact with a living human being. They are real but the idealized perfect match is what I'm seeing. That's a fantasy. This is a train wreck going to happen.

Also, a comfort zone can have some real mess. It's the real mess is what I know. My discomfort his getting away from the mess. The train wreck.

@Blackhawk45 One can make their own reality and idealized match. Some are lucky in finding that match and some are not. I think both sides see things from a different perspective. No gain if one is not willing to under some pain from stepping outside their comfort zone and I speak from a lot of experience. Doing so has gotten me where I am today and am grateful.

I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!