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I am new to and saw this group and figured what the hell I will give it a go. Do y'all think being an introvert is a choice? I have always been an introvert. Though I think that is related to my childhood. I would like to get out and socialize but haven't been able to find folks I am willing to spend the effort required to do so. Living in the bible belt surely doesn't help. Anyways thanks for letting me and look forward to chatting with some of y'all.

TerminalSunshine 5 May 23
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I think it is a part of who you are, though in my case, I let external forces convince me that I was someone different. Here I am, almost 60, and I am just now realizing that I am truly an introvert. Now, all those things that didn't feel right for DECADES, are making sense. I cannot help but reflect how my life may have been different, if I realized and accepted who I truly am.

tony6149 Level 5 May 26, 2018

From my personal experience, i would say quite confidently that i identify as introverted. Although i have no problem socializing with others in large group settings or speaking infront of crowds. At the end of the day, when i go home and recharge by's definitely where i feel more at peace. So i feel that i can have my cake and eat it small doses haha.


Apologies for the posts below taking over the screen. I meant to just post the links, but the whole videos showed up. Sorry, I don't know how to reduce them down to the URL links. The whole comment looks very un-introvert-like with the videos in it.

Brunnion Level 7 May 25, 2018

No I don't think that anyone has a choice of being introverted or extroverted TS. Many introverts actually have Asperger's Syndrome without knowing it. This is a condition present from birth until death. It is caused by different brain development from the majority of people.

It is especially difficult to diagnose women with this condition because society expects us to be social organisers....... so (even though Asperger's inhibits us socially) we learn to do it whether we like it or not!

Here is an online test for women who think they may have Asperger's ........

....... and dudes, so you don't feel left out, here are 22 traits that may be found in Asperger's men.......

Brunnion Level 7 May 25, 2018

Yes, studies have shown that introverts do process stimuli differently. A lot of people think introverts don't like people in general, but that's not true. I like people... one at a time.

Great profile. Welcome to the group.


I think that it is formed in the first year or maybe two as to how a person sees the world.


Welcome to the group! I too think I am introverted partially because of my upbringing...

I feel the same. Or at the very least my upbringing sure didn't help.

I, too, think my introverted personality is partly due to my upbringing, but there are so many of us that I feel it has to be at least partly in our genes.


Our culture favors extroverts. We are led to believe that those who are outgoing are preferred, better at working with customers, having a wider range of interests, etc. I don't think anyone would choose to be an introvert; it just requires too much effort to explain to other people. Whenever I have had a job interview, I found it exhausting, because I had to be "on" and felt like I had to "sparkle" all the time. I had to force myself to be outgoing (or what I thought was what outgoing people did). I would pretend I needed to use the restroom just to get a little alone time. Now I don't have to worry about job interviews, but I still find unstructured social settings (meet-and-greet type of events) stressful and exhausting. No, I don't think anyone would choose these experiences.

citronella Level 7 May 23, 2018

I was in sales and was pretty successful. My sales coach, after giving me a battery of tests, said he had no explanation for my success... that I was low on the dominance scale and high on introversion. I told him it was sheer stubbornness... Socializing with clients was my job... but please don't invite me to a non work party.


Not a choice, as I am concerned. And I am happy with who I am.

jab60 Level 6 May 23, 2018

I don't think it's a choice for me but I guess it might be for some. IT's just part of my personality. Welcome to the group!

HeraTera Level 7 May 23, 2018

ty Ma'am


It's a choice if someone chooses, but that is not the case for me.

Squirrel Level 7 May 23, 2018

Curious as to "not being the case" for you. Your profile pic says 'I'm fine" though upside down says "save me". If intentional , what is it you need saving from?

@TerminalSunshine yesterday was an abhorrent day for me. This weekend doesn't forecast any improvement.

@Squirrel Things getting any better?

@Squirrel Sorry to hear things don't seem to be going well presently for you. Change is the one constant in our life's and I hope for change for you. As humans adaptation is what I reckon has kept us around. When I reach that point where I am being abhorrent, I make myself get out and do something like hiking to local water falls. Always hard to push myself out the door, but when I return from a solidary excursion I always feel somewhat better. Don't you think perhaps you are doing the forecasting? If so, can you not change the forecast by doing something you don't normally do thus breaking the cycle? I do hope you have a good weekend and indulge in something you enjoy, even if it is the smallest thing.

@HeraTera @TerminalSunshine Tomorrow my wife is packing her things to move out. She told me yesterday she wants an open marriage. Sunday she's leaving while I take my kids to Oregon where they'll stay the summer with their mother. I can't talk about work other than it is most overwhelming, and I'm alone. I know there are things to be optimistic about. I know I'm just blind to it. I don't know how to bring light to it. I feel it's comparable to swimming to the surface of a deep body of water. I feel like I'm close to breaking the surface and I'll be able to breath. Every moment I fail to inhale, I feel much more desperate for air.

@Squirrel I am very sorry to hear of your marital problems. My wife also left me from a 30 year marraige so perhaps I have some sense of what you could be going through. I spent the first 2 years basically in bed so I understand that suffocating feeling only as it applies to myself. If you ever feel the need to talk to someone please feel free to pm me. For most men it is very to talk to someone for that is the way most of us are brought up. Being you don't know me nor I you, perhaps it would be helpful to talk. Hang in there and the offer to pm is open any time my friend.

@Squirrel I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all that. It was 3 years ago when my husband did practically the same to me at the exact same time my son was going away to college. Suddenly the house was empty and I felt so alone. It is a horrible feeling. The days are long and they drag by while you adjust.

But you know what - you do adjust. And once you start to - you realize how much better the situation you find yourself in truly is - because you are no longer with someone who does not want to be with you. It leaves you free to look for someone who does. It leaves you free to be yourself. You will be able to inhale again. A place like this is a good place to come to talk to people too - and that helps a little while you are trying to catch your breath

@HeraTera Very well put Ma'am.

@TerminalSunshine @HeraTera Thank you so much your reassurance. I'll let you know how it goes.


I have noticed that many introverts aren't like that by choice but because of the surroundings they are forced to live in.
Living in the bible belt can be a huge factor in the social life of a non-believer.

Paul628 Level 8 May 23, 2018

I'm an introvert, but not a level ten introvert. I can go to the mall at Christmas time. I can go to a rock festival. I'm just glad I can come home and recharge afterwards.

vita Level 7 May 23, 2018

Not a choice. It just IS.

mtnhome Level 7 May 23, 2018
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