I read non-fiction and the New York Times, poems by Dante, I don't care if they rhyme. I listen to the Smiths and drink espresso, I grind my own beans, fuck Nespresso. I know about the islands of plastic in the sea, I'll tell you about it but you won't believe me. You just want see if I can make you laugh, check out my ass as I walk past. All I really want is conversation, to get buck naked and watch Face the Nation. I'm old, and bitter, and really smart and move to MN from California in March.