How do you determine what is simple introversion vs. what is selfishness?
I have had an ongoing debate with a (fundamentalist Christian) long-term friend, and tonight she accused me of being narcissistic and self-centered. My discomfort with her increasing fundamentalism has created many contentious conversations, with me frankly wondering if it is worth continuing the friendship. She says that I need relationship counseling because, among other things, I have a hard time carrying on a relationship with someone who is different from me. She says I used to be a friendly and more open person, but now I am bitter. That may be true, but I don't know how one can UNDO that feeling once it has taken hold.
In my friend's view, and she may have a point, I am ignoring her needs and not asking her about how HER life is going. I am probably guilty of that. But I am afraid to ask her about anything because I don't want to hear what God is going to do about it, how he will handle it, etc. I finally said, "Do you want to know why I don't ask you? You've got God, so everything must be perfect." That brought a swift end to the conversation.
How do I assess the validity of this accusation? She wants me to turn to God for help; obviously, THAT is not going to happen. I am willing to accept the fact that I have limitations in my ability to relate to others; how do I assess where to draw the line in determining whether this is simply a personality trait vs. whether it is a flaw that needs to be fixed.
Sorry, I don't know how much sense this makes. I am going to post this on the mental health group site also.