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Calling all introverts!

I'm in a quandary.

A couple I know very well moved to a neighboring state recently and they have graciously invited me to visit and stay with them. I really like these people and I'd love to see them for a few hours, but staying with them for a few days would totally deplete me. It's about a six hour drive, so a day trip is out of the question. They keep saying how there's an extra bedroom for me in their new home. I don't know how to tell them that I'd prefer to stay in a hotel if I come, without offending them.

I'm trying to figure out a graceful way to either avoid the trip altogether or do it in a way that doesn't overwhelm me and allows me my required private time. Any suggestions?

TheoryNumber3 8 June 24
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8 comments

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4

I LOL watching House Hunters/House Hunters International, all the people insisting on an "extra bedroom for guests", often for enormously more money, when they could simply put some of that money aside every month, put up guests at a hotel with it, & Everybody would be far happier!

AnneWimsey Level 9 June 25, 2021

Bravo!!

2

Rent a small RV, (towable, so you can still have your car?) stay in their driveway...tell them you are thinking about buying one ......

AnneWimsey Level 9 June 25, 2021
5

I am an extrovert and prefer staying in a motel or hotel and that is what I do. Be honest and tell them the truth. If they are truly your friends they will understand.

Sticks48 Level 9 June 24, 2021
6

All very good suggestions. I don't want to damage the friendship. They know me very well, so I suspect the truth will set me free! I'll incorporate those suggestions into my reply. Thank you.

I think they are all good suggestions and I don't have much more to offer. Best of luck.

5

I agree. As you already know them well, they no doubt know (or suspect) your inclination for privacy, so it may not be a complicated conversation, maybe even as short as "I would be more comfortable staying in a hotel."

Many people offer their homes to assure their visitors that it won't be a costly visit, so it's sweet of them to offer you the choice.

Lauren Level 8 June 24, 2021

Great advice

@Unity Thank you.

5

I always stay at a hotel and if pressed explain that I have medical issues that require privacy.
That usually does it.

6

The truth will set you free. Tell them exactly why you would prefer a hotel. You are an introvert. You have difficulty being with others for extended time periods. You like them so much and would LOVE to visit, but you need accommodations that allow you extended solitary time.

KateOahu Level 8 June 24, 2021

Excellent advice

@Unity thanks.

4

Thank them for the kind invitation and tell them you’d love to accept it, but only on the condition that you stay in a hotel. Say it’s a policy you have because you’ve had experience of staying with friends putting a strain on a friendship in the past, and you wouldn’t like to risk it happening again.

Marionville Level 10 June 24, 2021
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