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Are you an introvert because of how you are or because of how other people are? I feel that I'm an introvert because of how others are. Namely, there are 3 characteristics I find so incredibly annoying, that they tend to keep me away from other people. Those are (in no specific order)...

a) stupid people
b) unobservant people and
c) assholes

These can be subjective of course, depending on your own perceptions. Incidentally, although these 3 characteristics do often overlap, it's not a given. I've seen plenty of intelligent, kind people who suffer from being unobservant. Bugs the hell out of me. And yes, I'm sure I have characteristics that others would find fault with too. Nobody's perfect and everybody has their own criteria of tolerable limits.

daylily 8 Dec 28
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15 comments

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0

Sometimes not so much stupid as willfully ignorant

@MoonTiger Campaign promises are only valid til the election. Then they disappear in a puff of smoke for the most part. I don't doubt that some people go into politics with honorable intentions... but I think that very soon vanishes in the tidal wave of SuperPac and Lobbyist $$$ that flow directly into their pockets. Then the campaign promises become "What can I promise that will get me elected so I can stay on this gravy train?"

0

I might be introverted because I got ridiculed and insulted a lot, both in childhood and adulthood. I have run into LOTS of bullies. Don't know if I am timid and introverted because of this, but I know it plays a part.

SKH78 Level 8 Jan 1, 2019
1

A most interesting thread. Been thinking about the comments below. In my case I think experiences made me an introvert. When I was in grade school I was busy learning to pronounce the names of various dinosaurs and spiders while my peers were learning about batting averages and reading Superman comics. I remember being bullied in jr. high and called "Know it All" in school. So I decided to stop talking to others. I never did learn "Small Talk".
Glad to hear I'm not the only one that notices the Unobservant people. In the army they taught "Situational Awareness" It may be the only thing that kept me alive at times. I have been widowed for almost 4 years now and enjoy my alone time more and more.

Boxdoc Level 7 Dec 29, 2018
1

It never ceases to amaze me how unobservant most people are. Like you, I find it hard to tolerate stupidity, too, but I agree, even intelligent people go through life not looking and not noticing half the stuff I see. I hadn't thought that it might be an introvert thing, but perhaps you are right - maybe chattering extroverts are so wrapped up in their own trivia that they simply don't look outside their bubble.

CeliaVL Level 7 Dec 29, 2018

I think so too.

1

For long I thought it was because of other people. I often felt like a nerd surrounded by bullies. But much later, I realized that it's just the way I am, I was born this way. I just need a little more me-time than most people and I have less tolerance for obnoxious people.

@daylily Yes, there are LOTS of bullies. Much of my life I have believed there is little hope for the human race. Sorry to sound so pessimistic.

3

I'm an introvert because it's how I am. It's part of my personality. That comes from me and no one else.

3

I have a really hard time wasting my time with shallow and dramatic people. Then you add up the non-believer thing and I just hate everyone by default.

phillipsmj Level 4 Dec 28, 2018

I have my days of feeling like that. I find so many people shallow and boring ... and I too, have run into lots of obnoxious religious people.

4

Sums it up well.

1

I've always been introverted. I personally believe it comes from within.I crave and need periods of being alone to reset. Others may affect how you feel or how your interactions go but ultimately I feel most comfortable regardless of others in smaller, more reflective, less senseless discussions. I never feel lonely on my own and have felt a deep sense of loneliness with others present. I am an educator and spend my day with others and need to recharge to begin the next day working with teens. They can be the worst and best of humanity, sometimes within the same kid on the same day. I find my job rewarding, important and interesting but personally taxing. Just my take on introverts.

Pamscwf1 Level 7 Dec 28, 2018

Being alone does not have to be bad. It is much worse to be with a person who makes me WISH I was alone.

3

I feel like I was introverted long before my hatred of people came. As a kid, I was always labeled as the shy, quiet, weird one and thought that was true for a long time. I thought that I was just the awkward kid with no social life. It wasn't until my 20s when I learned that introversion was a thing and it was much more like me. I wasn't shy, I just preferred to do my own thing most of the time and that it was a totally normal thing.

My dislike of people was a fairly recent realization. I really tried to like everyone, but there are so many people who are down right hurtful to each other. I've been lied to, called names, cheated in some way or another, bullied, the list goes on. I decided the best thing for me was to stay away from most people. I built up a wall that only a select few are allowed in. I will talk to just about anyone and be friendly, but it takes a long time to earn my trust.

I do agree with the 3 characteristics that you named, though. I can't stand small talk or gossip. Talk about ideas or things that are actually important. Don't be an asshole. Be genuinely kind to others for no reason. Give to others when you're able. Be observant and mindful of other's feelings. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Be nice to the guy that everyone else is mean to at work or school just because you know how you'd feel in that situation. Do whatever you can to make the world a less shitty place.

Kynlei Level 8 Dec 28, 2018

Same here. I don't trust people until they have proven themselves worthy of trust. My trust has been violated and betrayed so many times. I have lived and worked in situations that are cut throat, dog eat dog, me first and to hell with you. The world has too many bullies.

3

The overly extroverted people, the ones that command and want the center of attention, I find annoying. To the point that I have no desire to be like them, and I'm happy to walk away from the crowd they attract.

mikecagain Level 7 Dec 28, 2018
0

I believe it's natural and we're pre-disposed to it, but certain experiences can bring it out in a more negative light. That being said, it's more about managing it than it is getting rid of it, because there are introverts who are very comfortable with who they are. We also live in a society that looks down on introversion as if it's a weakness, where there are other societies that look at it as an asset.

bleurowz Level 8 Dec 28, 2018
0

I personally can't stand people who are rude. It's similar in annoyance factor to unobservant folks. I don't mind stupid people if it's not their fault and they genuinely are trying to not be stupid, but for the willfully-ignorant and tremendously impolite, I give neither truck nor quarter.

PolyWolf Level 7 Dec 28, 2018

@daylily Rude here is, for example, being unaware of how much space one is taking up on the sidewalk. If an entire group of people is walking, they should know to form up instead of pushing someone into the street. When they try that crap with me, I walk through them.

@daylily It can definitely be both, and I agree!

0

you'll be onto my faults in no time

TheDoubter Level 9 Dec 28, 2018
2

It's exhausting to be social. Even more when it's forced. Ppl feed of each other, the negative ppl will pull you down in a second if you let them. I been told by friends the key is to not care. That's not me. So here we are, lol ????

kraseyk Level 6 Dec 28, 2018
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