This started for me when I was still in school. Teachers lamented all the time that I wasn't "social". Had a school guidance counselor say something to my mom about it and she told her that my dad was booed off the stage at his high school graduation. Being social was not something he was known for either. She didn't know how to respond to that but it didn't stop teachers from constantly trying to push me to hang out with the other students more. At my current job, I do okay but my ability to build rapport with people over the phone is not the best. Well obviously not, it requires small talk.

What CeliaVL said - extroverts see themselves as the norm. It's completely ridiculous and you should never have to go through that kind of crap in the workplace, but unfortunately, it does happen, especially with very ignorant bosses.

It happened to me once when I was working as a legal secretary at a small law firm. I'd left a much bigger firm with over 70 attorneys and 33 secretaries, so it was easier to slide under the radar and not be social if I didn't want to. We were also much busier at the big firm and didn't have a lot of downtime to socialize. When I moved to the smaller firm, I didn't have half as much to do, there were only 2 other secretaries besides me and 9 attorneys. The other 2 secretaries had been at the firm for years and were very comfortable with the attorneys. One of them was a mom with pre-teen kids. One of the lead attorneys at the firm, my immediate boss, as it happened, also had pre-teen kids. Both the attorney and secretary were catholic and had their kids in private schools, very involved in church activities, etc. So whenever we didn't have a very busy day, the secretary would hang out in my boss' office, socializing about their kids, comparing school and church experiences, etc. And my boss apparently expected the same of me - a non-religious, happily child-free single woman. I didn't want to talk about church, school and kids. That's not who I was, not who I am. I was happy to talk with my boss about work, which is what I was there to do, but he seemed to want the same kind of social relationship he had with the other secretary.

After I'd been there 4 months, he called me in to his office for a surprise performance review meeting, during which he basically told me my work was fine, but he wanted me to "get along better with the other employees." I didn't have any issues with the other employees, so I didn't know what he was talking about. He meant himself, but that's not how he phrased it in the meeting. About 3 or 4 months after that, he pulled me in for another surprise performance review, again stating that my work was fine, but "he and the other attorneys" felt that working with me was like "working with a robot." Those were literally the words he used - "it's like working with an efficient robot." I really didn't understand what the problem was. I was there to do a job, which I was doing, and was being told my work was fine. I was still young and inexperienced enough at the time that I didn't understand what he wanted from me.

A few months after that performance review, he fired me. It took me completely by surprise. If I'd been more experienced, I would have gone to human resources after the first performance meeting and told HR that I felt like I was working in a hostile work environment, and possibly dealing with discrimination. Because I was. I was receiving negative performance reviews from my boss simply because I didn't socialize the way he wanted me to and because I didn't have kids or any interest in church or school/kid things to talk about with him. But I didn't know any better at the time, and our HR department at that law firm was one woman. She was very sweet and nice, but very much a team player and I don't think she would have known how to help me if I'd approached her.

Looking back, I should have tried to file some kind of complaint against the firm for their treatment of me. And if you feel like you're in the same position, you could do the same with some of these bosses you've worked for. You did better than I did in this awful situation - explaining your introversion to your bosses, which I had no idea how to do when I was going through it. But is sounds like they were exceptionally ignorant and didn't respect you enough to listen to what you were telling them. If you face this kind of crap again in the future, I'd strongly recommend going to your HR department, if you have one, and discussing the issue with them. If there isn't an HR department, I'd look online for some kind of job security agency to see if you can't get help in getting your boss to back off. That kind of behavior is discriminatory and creates a hostile work environment, which no one should ever have to put up with.

Extroverts see themselves as the norm. For some reason they seem to find us introverts threatening, when all we are doing is being quiet and harmless.We just have to deal with it - it is not going to go away.

i hear you. i talk little too