Retrain the brain. Urges are resisted with distractions. Exercise, hit a ping pong ball. Change the brain chemistry thru activities such as writing, jogging, bicycling, meditation work out, work outside, until the urge subsides. You are teaching the brain that this is the the road away from the siren's call. Good for you that you are trying for the good of yourself. One must walk thru the fire to finally embrace self love. Self preservation is not selfish.

The working word in your post is "chose".. yes the desire to self destruct goes away commensurate with your life improvements.. Choose well..

Congrats on your progress.
I think the urges do ease up. It's no longer an obsession especially after the dependency wears off. A year later do I have a desire to enjoy a beer or two? Yes, yes I do. However, I do look at the consequences now which is something I never used to do at all. I just try to substitute those thoughts with something else. Something more positive.

Yes they do! 13 months clean here and it really does get easier. There's a huge difference between cleantime and being in recovery tho. Are you working a program?

I'll try to answer your question by sharing my experience. Try to be an expert on your own experience right? For me it's not an external chemical but unhealthy and toxic behavioral patterns. Sometimes they almost disappear and sometimes they almost derail me. Currently struggling with the latter. For me it looks like I'll always have this unhealthiness within me to some degree so I'm trying to find a way to make peace with that. I have known some people who seem to eliminate these addictions and bad behavior from their lives but that ain't me. With you in this struggle.