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I was a lecturer in person centred counselling - troubled abusive past I have 3 uni degrees now 70 don't get out so much any more as hip replacement needed - I love my life I love my children and grand children - I know it isnt politically correct to say you are a recovered alcoholic but havent had a drink for over fifty years and not likely to start hell raising at 70- I have had an interesting life.

jacpod 8 July 28
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I'm a new facilitator for an alternative program to AA called SMARTRECOVERY. I'd love to pick your brain for presentational ideas and ways to express my compassion without being so callous. I'm very introverted and short in conversation and I've been told that when I do attempt sincerity, I sound condescending more than anything, lol.

I don't think it matters quite so much about your presentational skills - staying close to the client is a good ideal- Mostly a client will minimise or maximise their problems ,or rationalise by saying sometihng like "Oh well worse things happen at sea" etc.

Staying close watching out for skin colour changing and facial expressions etc. plus feeding back their words exactly as they say them is quite good as they then get to know that you are listening intently and are focussed on them - I have never needed to tell people what to do or how to be because they know best what they are aiming for - I know its sounds hackneyed but if someone says something startling in a very ordinary voice - Its a good place to home in on - to try to understand

Basically though I think what is healing is just honest interaction with someone who is trying their best to understand you as a client and who values you and feels some warmth for you - I am a Person Centred counsellor, have been for many years & so empathy warmth and congruence do seem to the major tools in the armoury. Stick close ot the client feedback what is goign on for you when they say something 'big' I odnt think for one minute it matter ho w gruff you sound what matters is your realness and wanting to understand them. good luck = It comes in time when I started out I made all sorts of gaffes and then realised they didnt really matter that the client was on their own program and I couldn't really go wrong so long as I stayed stable whatever they said .

@jacpod I appreciate your thoughts and you're right but I do group presentations of 10-25 people. Usually discussing tools and techniques based on Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It's very academic and psychologically based. It's premise it to separate the thought from the emotion and creating an understanding of how your endocrine system can fool you.

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We DO recover. You are proof!

anthonyco Level 5 July 31, 2018
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A little wine here and there might be good for your heart now at 70.

Partyhawk Level 7 July 28, 2018

thanks but I wouldnt risk it I remember how awful I was as an alcoholic and never goign there again .

@jacpod You remember is a good thing because it reminds you of what is was like to abuse the alcohol. Dont be afraid of your lessons learned. You learned so manage them properly this time. Your older and wiser now. Trust yourself.

@RoadGlider I don't actually want alcohol I don't go out to pubs and my partner is also ex alcoholic so we just have a nice time together - its just not a part of my life I want to repeat in any way - I am not scared of becoming addicted again because it hasnt any hold on me now but i have had and do have a very nice life without it so what would be the point? ( and I am not certain it would be good for my heart either ) I would probably be more concerned for my liver.

@jacpod I totally understand that. I was more suggesting that you have a small glass of wine at the end of the day prior to going to bed.

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