Dear Diary and Recovery Family,

Yes, this is where I'll write and "rant" when the mood arises. This will be a bit of both. It's more for self-analysis than anything else but, if you'd like to respond please do so! So...

I'm living indoors courtesy of the VA for at least the rest of the month and MAY get an extension if my medical and mental conditions warrant an extension.

I'm facing several obstacles to that in that I have many "unspecified" conditions. An ongoing sinus infection which has withstood four increasingly potent antibiotic scripts, two shots and various other ear drops and other meds. Several skin infections, possibly related to my previously diagnosed discoid lupus and/or hyperthroidism which both remain "unspecified". A solid diagnosis of arthritis in my right hand while its my left giving me the trouble. A solid diagnosis of arthritis in my back while its my right hip affecting my mobility.

Today I've done all I know to do to get as many of these "specified" as possible. Since these combined issues makes even looking for work a problem, much less finding a job I could actually do even a week, I'm not even trying...I sought work several months with no results when I first became too ill to continue my last job anyway.

At the request of my therapist I attempted to rehearse a usable performance set so I might sell myself as a performing musician again. Three easy songs went fine. Trying even a moderately difficult tune resulted in cramps in my left hand.

While playing instruments is but one of my artistic outlets it's always been my favorite. I'm experiencing some serious depression largely due to the fact that is no longer a viable option for me.

Long story short, there are barriers to most of my other viable money making endeavors in that it takes collaborators, most of whom in Las Vegas want to be paid in advance, to pursue them.

Soooo...will what I've done be enough for the VA by the end of the month? We'll see. I'll just carry on to the best of my ability and search my mind for any other options in the interim!