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Benthoven Ben

Man, New York,

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I grew up in a fundamentalist home… at ten I was baptized into the Seventh-Day-Adventist church. In my early twenties I was baptized into the Assemblies of church, and then in my later twenties I became a member of the Foursquare denomination. The one thing all of those groups have in common is that they are terrified of ME!

Because of my gayness, according to fundamentalists, I can:
~ Single-handedly incur the wrath of to bring down civilizations.
~ Cause earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, flooding and famine.
~ And apparently my powers are growing as I'm creating bigger hurricanes.
~ Just by being gay I can destroy straight marriages and obliterate the institution of marriage altogether.

Full Bio

Posts

General & Hellos

Apr 24, 2019Apr 2019

Posted by Benthoven

The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not. Steven Pressfield

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 13, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Man, March has been insane. Just one snowstorm after another, one freeze after another. I can’t remember the last time I was warm. I just had a bizarre altercation with someone from the NYPD: Cop: FREEZE! Ben: Like I could do anything else in ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Apr 6, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Last night, just as I was about to fall asleep, my brain suddenly screamed: “What if he really DOESN'T like big butts, but he CAN, in fact, lie.” Well played, brain. Those other voices won't deny.

General & Hellos

Jun 7, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Doors, doors, doors everywhere, and all locked and bolted. Jonathan Harker, Dracula

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 12, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Friend: Ben, your face is incredibly wrinkled. Ben: They're laugh lines. Future EX Friend: Nothing's that funny.

Mar 8, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I'm not at all surprised by the findings of this study, but I am disturbed. Twitter's fake news problem isn't caused by bots. It's caused by you.

Silly, Random & Fun

Jul 24, 2018Jul 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Whaddya mean my actions were inappropriate? I'll have you know the dog bit me first.

Silly, Random & Fun

Jul 24, 2018Jul 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I sold my soul to Rock and Roll. Well, Rock and Roll is demanding its money back.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 12, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Ben: Just HOW stupid do you think I am? Future EX Friend: Rhetorical?

Silly, Random & Fun

Jul 25, 2018Jul 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Last night, just as I was about to fall asleep, my brain suddenly screamed: “What if he really DOESN'T like big butts, but he CAN, in fact, lie.” Well played, brain. Those other voices won't deny.

General & Hellos

Sep 16, 2019Sep 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Son: Dad, my math teacher yelled at me today! Dad: Why? Son: My teacher asked, “what is 3 x 2,” and I answered “6.” Dad: That's right! Son: Then she asked what is 2 x 3 Dad: WTF's the difference? Son: That's exactly what I said…

Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 15, 2018Jan 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I went to my first Broadway play the other night. A musical version of Titanic… because a hottie asked me, and promised he'd let me hold his hand. Before the theater we had dinner. I had my favorite: Habanero Jalapeño Chili Spicy Nacho ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 30, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

It was the best of thyme it was the worst of thyme.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 22, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Vini Vidi Va va va Voom! I came I saw Hubba hubba!

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 7, 2018Sep 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Poor, shy, turtle. He could never come out of his shell.

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 30, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I am NOT boring. In fact, this one time at a John Tesh concert…

Philosophy & Meaning

Dec 6, 2017Dec 2017

Posted by Benthoven

We need a new mythology, one that might not entail "gods" per se, but one that does for a science based culture what the gods did for ancient societies. For example: A creation "story" which breaks down "creation" into story form the way most ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 22, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I came… I saw… … … I forgot why I came.

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 23, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I've waited my whole life for this moment, and here it is… Aaaaaannnnnnnddddddd there it goes.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 15, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Glenda: Are you a good witch… or a bad witch? Ben: Comme ci, comme ça

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 20, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Jun 25, 2018Jun 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Yes of COURSE there are people who voted Leave for reasons other than xenophobic bigotry or fading imperial jingoism . I’ve met at least four. Richard Dawkins

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 14, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I sold my soul to Rock and Roll. Well, Rock and Roll is demanding its money back.

General & Hellos

Mar 31, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

May the road rise up to meet you... or maybe not...

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 30, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

At my funeral, I hope to have my best friend do my eulogy. But I'll have to make sure my sister has equal time for the rebuttal.

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 26, 2018Sep 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Two things I know to be true: Number One: I know nothing. Number Two: My original premise is probably false.

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 27, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I wish people would stop telling me, “Agree to disagree.” I didn't agree to this disagreement. I don't want to be disagreeable, but I didn't agree to agree with you regarding our disagreement. You don't get to decide what I do and do not agree ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 27, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

It was love at first sight. Unfortunately, love is blind.

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 28, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

You had me at Harumph!

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 24, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I've created a new acronym: O-TWAF! Oops, that wasn’t a fart.

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 24, 2018Mar 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I'm never right, but sometimes I'm not wrong.

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 2, 2017Nov 2017

Posted by Benthoven

When God closes a door, open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.

Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 18, 2018Jan 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Love is infectious. Always wear a condom.

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 8, 2018Feb 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Don't you find it ironic that the most homophobic men on earth are athletes… guys who've dedicated their lives to slapping butts and chasing balls?

Silly, Random & Fun

Dec 26, 2018Dec 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Another Christmas passes... Two-thousand eighteen Christmases so far. Still no confession from Mary.

General & Hellos

Apr 5, 2019Apr 2019

Posted by Benthoven

But you don't understand… it's Love AND Rockets.

Silly, Random & Fun

Aug 6, 2018Aug 2018

Posted by Benthoven

This is how Vodka should be sold

General & Hellos

Apr 5, 2019Apr 2019

Posted by Benthoven

If anyone needs me, I'll be out of my mind.

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 14, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

They say that learning the hard way is a waste of time. But it's not like I have anything better to do.

General & Hellos

Apr 5, 2019Apr 2019

Posted by Benthoven

No! I won't sit down. Now that I'm off my rocker I intend to stay that way.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 17, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Ben: (Spitting Out) Uggh! This Vodka tastes terrible. Friend: It's water.

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 14, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Oh FRICK! Someone left the cake out in the rain! And I'll never get that recipe again.

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 15, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I came upon a bottle of Midnight Everclear, so I donned my gay apparel and joined the wise men, Goldie, Frank & Seth and Murray. We tried to deck the halls, but Holly wasn’t in the mood. Chet’s nuts were roasting on an open fire, and Jack Daniels...

Silly, Random & Fun

Dec 29, 2018Dec 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Learning the hard way is a waste of time.

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 15, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I was driving my karma down through my dharma, when I accidentally ran over my dogma. I had just traded in my Darshan for a new Hindu. It was time to reincarnate. I was with my friend Samsara on our way to the beach for a Swami. The accident made me...

Academic (e.g., Science)

Nov 1, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

When people ask me why we should be spending so much money on going into space, I tell them this: NASA retired Kepler, a telescope that discovered thousands of worlds beyond our solar system: How the Kepler Space Telescope discovered there are more...

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 15, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I was wondering, ‘just where is Funkytown?’ So I looked it up on Google Maps! You’ll want to start on Easy Street, then take a left down Boogie Lane. That will put you onto the Highway to Hell. Merge into traffic and then take the inside lane ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 21, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I thought I had finally found a happy medium. Turns out, she was just drunk.

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 20, 2019Sep 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Damn physicist! He's quark blocking me.

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 20, 2019Sep 2019

Posted by Benthoven

We're all in this together… So if you fart, I'll kill you.

Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 29, 2019Jan 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Some days my mouth says to my brain… “Here, hold my beer!”

Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 29, 2019Jan 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I can't really say for sure, but I think I have my life on backwards.

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 14, 2018Sep 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I'd love to help, but the company has me buy the balls.

General & Hellos

Feb 15, 2018Feb 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Your deeply held beliefs, without deeply validated facts are not admissible as morals or values.

Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 7, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Mirror Mirror on the wall… HEY! My eyes are up here buddy!

Silly, Random & Fun

Jun 6, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Benthoven

People don't come here for the truth, they come for good news. Psychic Missouri Moseley, Supernatural

General & Hellos

May 31, 2019May 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I thought I would share some of my daily affirmations. Who knows, maybe they could help others. My inner voice guides me in every moment: (One voice wants to eat pizza—another voice demands I have a salad instead—still another voice is telling ...

Philosophy & Meaning

Apr 3, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

We are a story our brain tells itself: and our brains are motivated, skilled, pathological liars. Craig Good

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 2, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Her smile could light up a room. That or the flamethrower she was toting… tomato/tomahto!

Silly, Random & Fun

Apr 3, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Brian Cox: Eric, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Eric Idle: I'm married.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 18, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Made-up story of course, but so much fun nonetheless... Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his ...

Philosophy & Meaning

Feb 27, 2018Feb 2018

Posted by Benthoven

The cure for the dark side of persuasion is... the other side. Jay Heinrichs: Thank you for Arguing

Silly, Random & Fun

Aug 23, 2018Aug 2018

Posted by Benthoven

People ask me if I believe in life after death. I tell them “I'm still trying to figure out the life after birth thing.”

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 20, 2018Sep 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture son, you’re gonna hurt your head. Bobby Singer

Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 31, 2019Jan 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I think I'm at that awkward age. Somewhere between 18 and 25-to-life.

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 28, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Well, after a ton of soul-searching, I've finally concluded: I don't have a soul. I've looked everywhere. Behind the sofa, under the cushions, even under the bed. I checked behind the refrigerator, since I'm always losing things back there… ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 28, 2019Feb 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Yes, I KNOW what I said was ignorant, obnoxious and mean, but I put lol at the end… I said LOL!

Silly, Random & Fun

Jun 21, 2018Jun 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Sorry Sir, but it's not my table.

Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 24, 2018Sep 2018

Posted by Benthoven

OMG! There's a tree in my living room and somebody stole my ceiling. ... ... Ah shit, I passed out in the courtyard again.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 8, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I went to see a mind-reader today. We just sat in silence.

Silly, Random & Fun

Aug 23, 2018Aug 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Some call it the Monkey Mind - the mind's inability to be quiet even for a moment. I no longer call mine the Monkey Mind because my Monkey Mind has gone Ape SHT! But I make it work. I eat lots of bananas.

General & Hellos

Mar 1, 2019Mar 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I have always loved Rob Thomas' music. Now I hear he has a new album coming out. Here's the first song they released from the album. I put it on repeat and it's been playing non-stop for about an hour now.

Silly, Random & Fun

Jul 21, 2018Jul 2018

Posted by Benthoven

To the nights we can't remember, with the friends we'll never forget.

Silly, Random & Fun

Apr 2, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

People ask me about my pet peeves. I don't pet my peeves. They bite.

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 21, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Some threats simply cannot be ignored: You bring him back or I'll make your life miserable for you. And you know I can do it. I'll move in with you. — Endora | Bewitched

Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 21, 2018Nov 2018

Posted by Benthoven

I took an IQ test! The tester asked me: “If I give you six cookies, and then I take two away, how many do you have?” I'm like: “WTF? Why would you give me six cookies only to take two away? That's not very nice.” Then tester responded, ...

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 30, 2017Oct 2017

Posted by Benthoven

I'm just killing time… until Time kills me!

Silly, Random & Fun

Apr 2, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. Elbert Hubbard

Philosophy & Meaning

Apr 2, 2018Apr 2018

Posted by Benthoven

The mystery of being is a permanent mystery, at least given the present state of the human brain. I begin by assuming two principles: 1.) For every truth there is an explanation. 2.) No truth explains itself. Jim Holt

Silly, Random & Fun

Jun 12, 2018Jun 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Monday has been canceled this Tuesday. This means that Monday's meeting will be postponed to early Tuesday this Wednesday at 7:00 pm Thursday next Friday. Saturday night will not be scheduled this Sunday due...

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 27, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Friend: (Disagreeing) I beg to differ… Ben: Well I beg for sex, what's your point?

General & Hellos

Jun 14, 2019Jun 2019

Posted by Benthoven

Men worship gods made in their own image; but these gods in turn, once made, have a potency of their own to shape and enslave their devotees. A.N. Wilson Jesus A Life

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 27, 2018Oct 2018

Posted by Benthoven

Retired Superman: It's times like these I wish I hadn't hung up my cape. Lois Lane: Oh Clark, you never hang up anything.

Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 31, 2019Oct 2019

Posted by Benthoven

I went to see Jesus Christ Supper Star. It was dinner theater.

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Agnostic, Humanist, Secularist, Skeptic

Open to meeting men

Interested InFriends, Dating, Long Term
EnjoysMovies, Music, Science, Books, Love
Education2-Year
Top tags#god #Jesus #world #friends #reason #video #book #hell #religion #earth #gay #death #Christian #hope #beliefs #Bible #children #Christians #church #Vodka

Level8 (90,206pts)
Posts984
Comments
Replies 2,840
710
Followers 22
Fans 0
Joined Sep 26th, 2017
Last Visit Over a year ago
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