2 9

We keep seeing posts from Americans seeking refuge here in Canada - but what about the other side of the coin?

Snowbirds amassing at U.S. border (letter reprinted from Kelowna Daily Courier, October 25, 2018)

A White House senior aide has disclosed that the sheer number of retired Canadians amassing along the northern border is creating consternation amongst top State Department and the Department of Homeland Security. Experts anticipate that half a million of these snowbirds will migrate to the U.S. over the next month, dwarfing the immigrant caravan crossing Mexico, and placing undue stress on the quality of life for many Americans, while posing a growing security threat.

“It’s too much,” lamented the anonymous aide. “It’s a struggle for citizens in Florida, Arizona and California to find a tee time, the pickleball courts are full and God help you if you want to find a parking spot at an outlet shopping mall. ”
Evidence collected last winter raised concerns that the normally reserved Canadians are exhibiting more uncivilized behaviour these days.

“We have reports that Canadians were telling jokes about our president. And across the southern US, pot-bellied over-the-hill Canadians in pastel golf shirts would walk into bars in the late afternoon, demanding $2.50 for highballs and a buck and a half for a beer, proclaiming that happy hour was here. Like they were tragically hip or something.”

The aide was asked if anxiety surrounding the Canadian caravan permeated the White House.

“Look, I can’t speak for everyone here, but we love Canadians - Conrad Black, the Reichmann family, Pamela Anderson. But we cannot ignore the burden this influx of Canadians places on us.”

The security concerns are heightened by Canada’s recent decision to legalize recreational marijuana. U.S. officials are wary of baby boomer potheads bringing their debauched drug habits over the border.

“It seems they’ve all been told to say the same thing to our immigration officers,” said the aide. “When they ask Canadians if they have ever consumed marijuana, they get this apathetic stare and the standard response, ‘Who me?’
“We’ve searched luggage and repeatedly found boxes of instant brownie mix hidden under lumberjack coats, but there’s nothing we can do.”

The Canadian snowbirds want to ensure that empathetic Americans understand their plight. One traveller going through US immigration at the Calgary airport put it this way: “We sacrifice a lot leaving our homeland each winter —Caesars, people saying ‘your welcome’ instead of ‘uh-huh,’ 24/7 coverage of the Leafs on TSN. But you must realize that we suffer from a brutally oppressive winter regime so we have to seek seasonal asylum in your country.”

This is expected to become a pivotal issue in the run-up to the U.S. mid-term elections. Canadians are advised to slip over the border while they still can.

John_Tyrrell 7 Nov 8
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


Turn that Canuck Caravan around and half the businesses in Florida will be bankrupt by April. 😀


OMFG! Perfect.

I'm surprised we're not sending troops to fend off this dangerous invasion!

Recent Visitors 23

Photos 363 More

Posted by 1patriotExploring Biodigital Convergence [] What happens when biology and digital technology merge?

Posted by 1patriotAlleged RCMP spy Cameron Ortis convicted of breaking secrets law [] video

Posted by bookofmoronsPut together a combo and played for a Remembrance Day ceremony in a small town about 40 minutes from where I live.

Posted by 1patriotwas great day! moose hunting start Wednesday morning

Posted by 1patriot[] Ontario man files $35.6 million lawsuit against Pfizer over son’s vaccine death

Posted by 1patriot[] Trudeau pledges nearly $90 million to fight climate change, vaccine equity in Caribbean

Posted by 1patriot[tnc.

Posted by 1patriotthey call it CNN in the USA

Posted by 1patriotTime for Canadians to WAKE THE FUCK UP ,, There is NO GOVERNMENT only a CORPORATION ,, we don't have a CONTRACT with the CORPORATION ,,tell them to FUCK OFF

Posted by 1patriotMask Mandates Back in Hospitals Across Canada Just Months After Being Removed | The Epoch Times [theepochtimes.

Posted by bookofmoronsHappy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians (and anyone else enjoying a beautiful fall day)

Posted by 1patriotYea she's a beauty....

Posted by 1patriotHe is a dick with a tator

Posted by 1patriotPedophiles are in politic world wide

Posted by 1patriotPlease, if there is one thing you should share with EVERYONE, it is this below.

Posted by 1patriotPlease, if there is one thing you should share with EVERYONE, it is this below.

  • Top tags#Canada #video #government #world #DonaldTrump #god #friends #hope #religion #children #religious #money #laws #reason #freedom #book #federal #vote #hell #minister #liberal #wife #media #rights #hello #belief #death #weather #USA #dogs #Song #earth #truth #economic #schools #oil #fear #Bible #atheism #church #climate #Police #guns #Humanist #community #military #policy #politics #culture #conservative ...

    Members 462Top