Just a quick introduction - lifelong member, served a mission (Tennessee Nashville; 91-93), married in the Temple (Washington D.C.), BYU grad (for my Master's degree), held a bunch of callings, former apologetics hobbiest. Testimony came crashing down in 2010. Tried to hide it from my kids, ward and neigbors for close to 5 years. Finally stopped attending, but realized a couple of years later that my marriage was almost entirely based on our common membership in the church. Separated 2 years ago and trying to find myself and a happy life after all of this mess.
Don't despair. I went through a similar thing. When I discovered that Joe Smith was a false prophet, I was excommunicated for apostasy. My wife took our two children and disappeared. A couple of months later, I was served with divorce papers. At one point I was so depressed that I stood for several minutes with a knife to my chest, ready to plunge it into my heart. I chickened out, and I'm glad I did. I began to feel good about myself because I kept my integrity intact, and I was following the truth. Now I am very happy as an atheist, I am married to a much better spouse, and life is good. Don't give up. You, too, are following the path of truth. Congratulations. Always look at the bright side of life, and you will find your happiness.