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I was born into a Mormon family and raised to be a Moron (oops, Mormon). I even served a two-year mission in Argentina. Later, I married a Mormon woman and had two children. While the children were still quite young, I did some research, hoping to prove Mormonism to be correct, so that I could convert my non-Mormon friends. I was shocked to discover that Joseph Smith, the founding prophet of the Mormons, was a false prophet. He made predictions in the name of the Lord that did not come true, and the time of their possible fulfillment had passed. Therefore, I left the Morons and was excommunicated for apostasy. Upon my excommunication, my wife took the children and disappeared. Later, I got divorce papers in the mail. I have not seen her since.

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Comments

Intermission... oops... sorry ?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 27, 2019:
But ... butt ... it's a butt! No wonder her cleavage smells like shit! :o
Your mom annoyed you? Do this? booooom!?????
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 27, 2019:
Dat's not my Mommy. Dat's my girlfriend. :P
There was a bank robbery. The police have narrowed the suspect list : a cheap attorney, an expensive...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 27, 2019:
The tooth fairy and the cheap attorney being fictional, it has to be the expensive attorney. :)
Go legal wife!😘
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 26, 2019:
I'll take the legal wife. Much better looking! :)
Security check:
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 26, 2019:
All of them.
I have arrived in Italy, and will be enjoying my stay for almost three months. Here is a photo of ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 26, 2019:
From the rear balcony, there is a good view of an abandoned dwelling called Villa Pace.
I have arrived in Italy, and will be enjoying my stay for almost three months. Here is a photo of ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 26, 2019:
A view from the balcony of the condo where I'm staying in Baveno, overlooking Lago Maggiore.
Any ideas???
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 21, 2019:
Apply a smidge of whatsit to the doober behind the thingy. If that doesn't work, call a professional whatchamacallit repairman.
Ummmm.....
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
Stop stopping!
A perv.,a con artist and a fascist....
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
Well, the Methodists got one thing right! :)
What is your idea of a good death?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
Death by chocolate! :P
KInda not true for me... off tomorrow!!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
You can get the most out of hump day by ... well ... humping! :P
What a bunch of clowns. How do people buy into this nonsense? ??
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
Okay. I won't call them Mormons anymore. I'll shorten it to Morons. :)
Every time I try to go to the Home page, I'm automatically redirected to the Groups page! What's ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 20, 2019:
Thanks to Admin for fixing the problem! :)
Numbers 22:30. "And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 19, 2019:
Also, Genesis takes it from the rear side to the front side with a talking "serpent"! I can't get my "serpent" to make any noise at all, let alone make it speak! :o
Jesus arrives for the second coming. What entrance music does he use and why? (Again, these ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 19, 2019:
"Jesus in the Sky with Diamonds" Because if he can turn water into wine, why wouldn't he turn coal into diamonds?
Jesus arrives for the second coming. What entrance music does he use and why? (Again, these ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 19, 2019:
"He wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini" Why? Because he's a cross-dresser. :P
Damn, that's a way more practical use.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 19, 2019:
Are you a taco belle? :P
Today's hike: warmth and rapidly-melting snow
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 18, 2019:
Again, great photos! :)
Maybe, maybe not...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 18, 2019:
I want to reincarnate as a dog! :P
What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for? (Be creative— this is intended to be...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 18, 2019:
Hung?
What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for? (Be creative— this is intended to be...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 18, 2019:
John was his "beloved" disciple, so maybe his full name was Jesus Homosexual Christ.
What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for? (Be creative— this is intended to be...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 18, 2019:
Huffalump?
Come on, you all know you'd try this
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 17, 2019:
Now, there's someone who's tired of Coca Cola! :P
For those who work in the casino , the bottom half of the meme would be us going to work. The top ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 17, 2019:
I rarely go to a casino. But when I do, I limit myself to about $10. About half the time, I beat the casino, leaving with a couple more dollars than when I entered. :)
Hmmm......
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 17, 2019:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8
When you don't speak Dutch... ????
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 17, 2019:
I recall seeing a sign in Germany that said "Die Simpsons." Of course, it was an advertisement for the cartoon "The Simpsons," but it took me a moment to realize it was not wishing death on them. :o
If you don't get it, I'm going to laugh harder at you!???
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 17, 2019:
I have some old records that are groovier than I am. :P
This one is sooooooo bad
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 16, 2019:
This post is very timely! :P
Another Walmart meme...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 16, 2019:
Sounds like 4-play to me! :D
Well his spelling isn't that good
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 16, 2019:
Well said, Jonathan! :)
Im so glad im out.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 16, 2019:
The best thing the Morons ever did for me was to excommunicate me for apostasy. I'm free! Hooray! :)
A round of golf
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Bravo! I salute him for getting out and about rather than hiding his unusual physique.
Those were the days
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
I remember that!
Understandable.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Or would this be finger skating? :P
That's one sexy birch!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Take a good look now. She'll leave in the spring. :)
MAGA......
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Sung to the tune of "We Shall Overcome": We shall never overcomb. We shall never overcomb. We'll never overcomb like you, silly man. It's the ugliest thing. We know you are balding. We shall never overcomb.
Cuz astrology is all real 'n stuff....
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Gotta blame it on something other than yourself! :)
A .....latte please
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
My sister was visiting Italy, and she ordered a latte. She was surprised when they brought her a glass of milk. In Italian, the word *latte* means *milk*. :D
Dude! It's getting old!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
That's not a cocktail. It's a dogtail. :P
Or not... duck
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
He's a quack, alright!
Would you buy this atheist toast? It shows our god... Starting price $15.00 !
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
I see my god when I look at the TOASTER and see my own reflection in it. :P
The Tesla Y reveal...It has the functionality of an S.U.V. and the ride/drive of a sports car...and ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 15, 2019:
Cool car, but a bit pricey. I think I may end up getting the most basic Model 3, so it will better fit my budget. :)
Organized Religion has unleashed exceedingly more evil in the history of mankind. 01. Fanaticism...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 14, 2019:
Great memes! :)
Exactly what I need
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 14, 2019:
This would be good for June 9 (69 day)! :P
What day is it? (No, not hump day!)
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 14, 2019:
Pi in the sky! :D
I asked my chef to WALK the dog while I was away. That evening he served dog meat with rice noodles,...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 14, 2019:
Because some seem to think this joke is racist, I am removing the word "Asian" from it. Anyone can use a wok to wok a dog. Sorry if anyone got offended! No offense intended.
I asked my chef to WALK the dog while I was away. That evening he served dog meat with rice noodles,...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
By the way, this is just a joke. I have no chef, Asian or otherwise. Nor do I have a dog. :)
2 dogs and a cat
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
After all, the word *god* is just *dog* in reverse. :P
Sexual innuendo
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Gay men enjoy sexual in-you-end-o. ;)
Today's hike: Warm sunshine and new snow
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
I want to move to Washington! Gorgeous! :)
Nice hairdo, lady.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Flabulous!
How drunk is this guy?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Didn't want to splatter any on his shoes.
Silence isn't the only thing that's golden
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
The Fake President has known that for a long time!
No, I didn't.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
I was a bit distracted.... :o
Meme THIS! Let's see whatchu got!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
She looks absolutely flabulous!
Meme THIS! Let's see whatchu got!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Go ahead and explode, my dear, so I can inherit your fortune.
Meme THIS! Let's see whatchu got!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
A double twat to match the double chin!
Meme THIS! Let's see whatchu got!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Too big for her britches.
One do over....
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
I would have become an atheist instead of accepting a Moron (oops, Mormon) baptism at age eight. It might have caused a bit of friction in the family, but on the other hand, I might have convinced them that Moronism (oops, Mormonism) is indeed Moronic. :)
& to all that don't like my Posts, from Phoenix, with love...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 13, 2019:
Ouch! :o
Jeebus rubber ducky silence of the lambs all in one conversation starter.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 12, 2019:
What's with the mustache on the nose!? :o
Tired of telemarketer calls try answering phone saying sheriffs office fraud division
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 12, 2019:
I'll give it a try! :)
Add some fava beans and a nice chianti...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 12, 2019:
Would I be a cannibal for eating pecans? (People call me nuts.) :P
Not mine personally.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 11, 2019:
Just don't hit them with a bat! :o
I live in a tough neighbourhood.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 11, 2019:
Is that a cat burglar? :P
@Mofferatu's idea...hehe
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 10, 2019:
Line up, nuns, your husband is waiting!
Pretty sure I warned y'all that I like Cat Memes...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 10, 2019:
What a *cat*astrophe!
New, never before seen picture from the Moon landing, just released. Houston, we have a paw-blem.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 10, 2019:
Purrfect! :D
Ha, ha, ha. So right!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 9, 2019:
Fraud! Phony! Fake!
Ain't Science grand???
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
Love the photo! :)
Homemade, Dick Pic!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
Yep. That's TWO dicks.
What is your favorite word or phrase quirk? Something not in the general population lexicon? For...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
I like to replace the word *shit* with *shinola*. This reminds my fellow old-timers of the ancient saying, "He don't know shit from shinola." :P
New Dog Crossbreeds: Collie and Lhasa Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A. Elephino! ;)
Not very bright is he???
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
When someone is taking a photo and the subjects are not smiling, I like to put two fingers up behind the head of the photographer. That makes the people smile. :)
Drama free
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
I can relate! I can piss like a river all day long! :o
Still laughing...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
It's hilarious that some people take that fairy tale literally. :D
Can you blame them?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
Be strong, ladies! :)
what, a nose ring?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 8, 2019:
I may be just an old fart, but I cringe every time I see a human with a nose ring. Or a lip ring, or a nipple ring, etc.
Wouldn't you agree?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 7, 2019:
True!
Well well well...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 7, 2019:
Smell my finger! :D
Thanks to @mzee...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 7, 2019:
Older than dirt. :o
Hi! Welcome to Tesla owners/drivers/lovers group! It's not required that you're an owner/driver - ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 7, 2019:
Good news! :D
mmm...no...same day
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
Ay, caramba! :o
For those speed demons out there with $250K to spare.... Here's what will be, late 2020, the ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
I like the miles per charge. However, the price is way out of my league.
lets play a game . . rename a movie based on this image
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
Munster Wedding.
How I start the day and the wee hours.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
Sounds familiar! :)
How to prevent falls on steep descents
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
There is a great deal of beauty in those photos! :) The scenery is nice, too! :P
tRump......
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
Yep. He's a gutter rat, alright!
Question for the group. I just bought an "off the lot" Tesla that had all the features I ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
Can't you find other floor mats of a darker color?
The first annual International Atheist Day is coming up on March 23rd! I'm the chairman of a small ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
You can crucify the pope. :P On second thought, that would give atheists a bad name. Don't do it.
Christmas Cactus blooming for five months
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 6, 2019:
You apparently have a green thumb. :) Mine is brown. :(
Who wrote these?
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 4, 2019:
Melania Trump?
So, apparently dancing isn’t my thing. This was posted by a relative on my Facebook wall. Lol
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 4, 2019:
Was she dancing to Sting music? :P
Yeah, that's the ticket...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 4, 2019:
Infatuated.
Which group of people would be more likely to help those in need... theists, agnostics or atheists? ...
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 3, 2019:
Theists would readily help people of their own religion. They are less likely to help people who disagree with them. Agnostics ... see atheists. Atheists are thinking people and are more likely to have a good understanding of ethics than religious people. Therefore, I believe atheists would be more likely to help those in need.
New York lingo..mostly downstate
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 1, 2019:
Do these phrases straddle the state line between New York and New Jersey? :P
Without having to resort to Crocs.....which as we all know are an abomination!
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 1, 2019:
It also helps to keep a finger in your nose. :)
had me fooled.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 1, 2019:
Good one! I really didn't see the ledge until I read the words. :)
Those magical stoners.
BestWithoutGods comments on Mar 1, 2019:
That Joe Smith was a FRAUD.