Exactly, my roommate is a very cheap and mean person, it has been 3 weeks that we didn't say a word to each other, I feel more comfortable when he is not around lol fortunately he will leave in few days.

@NR92 Hope you can find a roommate who is nicer.

Same here

Agreed!

Mixed emotions about a lot of stuff. I know what it's like.

same here, specially in events like wedding and parties, instead I prefer and enjoy sitting down with couple of deep thinkers atheists and agnostics friends & philosophy students and discuss about serious subjects.

Important to love yourself. Also important to know yourself. An old saying "Know yourself - if you need help, call the FBI."

@SKH78 the Greeks motto is : " know thyself " when in trouble CALL A HIPPIE

Similar pattern here. I spend most of my time alone, except for my critters, mostly by choice. However, once in a while I will want human interaction, face to face, not digital or phone. That is when it is really good to have a few "friends" to go visit. Until recently, my friend "circle" numbered 3, one of which lives 75 miles away so, not good for spontaneous visitations. Of the other two, one of them(actually a couple) moved across the state a week ago.

I really struggled with that for a while, running up to the actual departure. Drove my BP thorough the roof for a couple days. It's odd, being an introvert, I really am comfortable being alone and especially being very much in control of when I do spend time around other people. Yet, I really have a deep fear of "being alone".

To clarify, that is to really be alone in the world. To not really have anyone I can truly consider a "friend", anyone who cares what happens to me. Yes, I've had "abandonment issues" since childhood, therapy didn't make them go away but did control the depression that spun off of them.

The very issues that make me want some people I consider "close", makes me put up barriers so I don't get too attached to them. A definite fear that if I get too attached to them, they will leave, causing heartache. It does create a conundrum, wanting yet avoiding attachments.

And that, folks, is more self- revelation than I ever intended to display online.

@DotLewis Thank you for being so open. Abandonment issues are tough to deal with. You might want to find a way to locate new friends.

@DotLewis Sounds a bit like my situation. And I do have myself to blame for not being real good about taking care of connections.

@DotLewis

:::::: APPLAUSE :::::: you couldn't have expressed my sentiments more clearly... particularly about not getting too attached to people for fear you'll become dependent upon them and then they'll leave. YES! I do that all the time. I posted several weeks ago about my friendships having expiration dates. That's exactly what I was talking about.

Then your home must be crowded