Parting ways from lifelong friends is difficult and always heartbreaking on some level, even if it is a relief as well. I hope there are others who you will meet that you can better identify with in the future. Best wishes.

As a good friend once told me, some people come into your life for a reason or season, and some come for a lifetime. I look at this situation that you write about as a moment for you to move on now to other new friends. You learned and loved all you could from this friend and since you have grown to be who you are right now, she no longer works for where you are right now in your life. Be thankful for the journey you shared for the season she was in your life. You did the right thing for yourself as you seem to have grown much more than she did. Sending a hug your way.

People change and relationships change. It is sad to end something that had been there for forty some years, but the reality is that it was already gone, having ceased to be what it previously was. It's ok to grieve the loss of the good parts. No point in subjecting yourself to hateful people.

Hugs, Hon .

I had to watch a wife go down the ' loving Christian ' rabbit hole, for obvious social gain and suddenly become a raging bigot and homophobe, parroting all the ultra conservative schmaltz. Suddenly constantly criticizing me for raising my daughter to be a proud feminist .. ( and sons of like mind) you did the right thing. There is absolutely no reasoning with these people. Either you hate along with them, or kick them to the curb.

I'm glad you finally felt it was okay to let this friend go. She wasn't treating you well and you know that. And there is no point staying in a toxic relationship (even if at one time it might have been slightly more beneficial).
When something changes to this less desirable state - it's ok to let it go.

That she suddenly revealed herself to not be half the sophisticated person you thought she was on the way out - well wasn't that enlightening? (I'd count that a bonus!). You don't need haters in your life.

Imagine all the complexities if you had been married. These things do happen and they can cost more than just emotions. People do change and often for the worse. Why do people care how gays make love? I would imagine their own sex lives must be pretty boring.

I'm so very sorry you've spent so much emotional currency on this person. Over a lifetime, most of us end up culling unhealthy relationships at some point. I have a sister I haven't had any relationship with for almost 10 years.

Over the next few days, you may wish you had said something differently...you may feel you should have been able to reach her and reason with her, and "save" the friendship. Don't second guess yourself or your decision to feel better. In a healthy friendship, the vast majority of encounters should leave you feeling emotionally connected, with a sense of well-being and support. Happy. Happier when you hang up the phone than when you dialed. It sounds like this was never going to be the case. A toxic "friendship" is like any other bad relationship, and ending it does not mean you need to assign yourself fault or guilt. Give yourself time to grieve the loss, and stay positive and active. It gets better.

I don't think I could maintain a friendship with her either. I am curious though, did you actually ask her why she's parroting all that crap? If she really feels that way, or if she thinks that is how she should feel because church leaders say it is? I think it's a shame that so many so-called Christians can't seem to think for themselves, so just parrot opinions and views of those they consider religious leaders.

Yeah hard but necessary

Wow! You put up with that for over forty years?! I'd never.... Good decision! And about time!

In this age of complicated social and political issues, many of us have seen our friends reveal their lack of compassion and empathy towards their friends, family, fellow citizens and humanity, the natural wonders of the world. We have discovered that our belief that we were all hoping for life to get better for the planet and everyone was misguided. Our friendships were based partly on the thought that the people we knew had this hope.We were wrong about some. I have had a few conversations with people about how they have left close relationships. We have to protect our inner selves, and leaving these people is sometimes the only way.

You definitely did the right thing. I live amongst those with that mind set. The longer you converse with them, etc one of two things will happen. You will either increasingly despair over the hatred and bigotry or you will start to parrot it. Both are a more tragic ending to this friendship, than simply bowing out before you hate and despair.