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Red devil chemotherapy. I keep asking myself why I'm I doing this. Isn't there a better way to get rid of cancer than to destroy the rest of the body? I have been in the hospital for three days. I just got home. I haven't been out of bed since November first. I still have two more infusions to go of this red devil. It has ruined my life. I can't work or do anything. I live with my daughter now since I have no income. After the chemo, I will have to get radiation. Everyone keeps praying for me
I've stopped telling them not to bother. If they want to waste their time, that's their business. I just want my life back but I don't think it will happen. I've lost everything, my business,y ability to work, body parts, what's next?
I'm inspired by survivors. How can anyone come out a whole person? This experience has been depressing. It made me realize how insignificant I am.
Has anyone else gone through this low point and come out with a better life? Tell me your story.

confidentrealm 7 Nov 25
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Yes it takes time - I lost my income, my career, my independence and my home most recently. Anti-depressants help the feeling of doom and gloom. I went through an induction then 3 more rounds and finally a life-saving bone marrow transplant. Try to get involved in therapies to take your mind off pain. I had free massage, reiki, art therapy, music therapy, and writing and poetry. Yes very low point started in 2012, transplant in 2013 then long recovery in nursing home 3months then home. Please feel free to PM me. I can give you my email and phone if you need support.Its different for everyone depending on what type of cancer and side effects. I had the worst -acute myloid leukemia. A new normal.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. This thing has been so difficult. I hope your life has gotten better since your recovery

@confidentrealm yes but it took time. Please contact me if you need support. Anytime.


Of course it's depressing. There's nothing normal about it.

Starting with my diagnosis of stage 3 breast cancer in late 2011, I went thru close to 2 years of various medical procedures... Bilateral radical mastectomies, reconstruction, chemo, radiation, hospitalizations, multiple insertion and removal of drainage tubes, wound vacs, etc. Even setting an alarm for 3 a.m. every morning so I could to get up and administer my own IV antibiotics, which I had to do at home, four times a day to treat various infections. And I live alone.

But you know what? That was all temporary. It's been almost 9 years since it started and my life is completely normal today and has been for the past several years.

So all you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other, follow your doctors orders and keep the faith, whatever it's source.

You are not insignificant. Your life isn't over. You've just had to turn over control of it for the time being..... until you can restart it on your own and regain your Independence.

Hang in there!

Thank you so much. I just need to hear success stories. I know a woman currently in hospice who has been on chemo for six years without being cured and now her family is just waiting for her to die. It's very sad. I just needed to know others survive so it gives me courage.

@confidentrealm I'm glad I could help. There were times when I was really low but I just kept thinking it's temporary. People will say a lot of stupid things to you during this time about how you should be happy and smiling and keep a positive attitude. I know what you're going through and it's very hard to not be scared to death but I tried to act positive around people no matter what I was feeling, and that way I could avoid their pep talks about how I have to be positive 🙂

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