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This is a genuine story from a Facebook buddy of mine. It's just a really great example of the difference a kind gesture can make from a group of people who are usually misunderstood

A lot of people believe that Autistic/Aspies do not have empathy for others . I just dropped my 14 yr old Aspie at school. A sight impaired boy walking by, using a cane and with an assistant guiding him. Jordy said “I feel sorry for him”. I told him that feeling sorry for him wouldn’t help him but being friendly to him would. He said “his name is “”””” and every time I say hello to him, he says “Hello Jordy” He is really nice.I said he probably looking for a friend. Jordy jumped out of the car and instead of racing into the Admin block, he went up to the boy and started talking to him. Such a lovely move to make.

ipdg77 8 Apr 20
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6 comments

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1

I have empathy, I just don't always know how people want me to express it to them.

That said, I'm a compulsive helper/fixer. It works well with kids and kittens, but not so much with adult humans.

If I could give you a hug I would. I see a lot of this, I work with adults with ASC and just don't have an easy solution. All I would say is don't stop caring for fear of cocking it up 🙂

@ipdg77, I run our local Autistic/Asperger's Adult Support Group with a friend and I'm a Speech Language Pathology Assistant working with children with developmental disabilities. Autism is my life, not just my identity.

@TaraMarshall I think that's brilliant, what better person to have right in the thick of things supporting people. I went to a talk a couple of years ago given by Wenn Lawson, a autistic guy, who's life story is fascinating and he tours the world, writes books and generally raises the profile and understanding of autism. I didn't know much about ASC until my eldest daughter was born, she has Aspergers, I now work with adults with ASC and I'll spend the rest of my life raising the profile too.

2

People on the ASC can and do have very intense empathy and emotions. All too often it is the neurotypicals who hid or suppress them. Stiff upper and all.

Sofabeast Level 7 Apr 20, 2018

I didn't know very much about ASC until my eldest daughter was born, now I work with ASC adults as well and you're right, it's a message I'll spend the rest of my life trying to get out. Thx @sofabeast

I used to work for the National Autistic Society UK. Well, until they decided to cut services back to London effectively. I really love the work. I find having to distress before work and stay that way through the shifts very relaxing.
Too many 'outsiders' become tense around ASC people, which they instantly pick up on.

2

???

3

Kids can be caring. My daughter Becky has cp and may be on the spectrum. She is an extraordinary caring 35 year old who loves freely.

Autistic people have feelings the same as everyone else, they just sometimes take a little longer to show or react to them. I heard an autistic person once describe it as 'buffering' like you get on downloads. It's a great analogy 🙂

@ipdg77 There is a place in Austin working with Autistic children that came to that same conclusion. It was very heartwarming to find that out.

4

One of my nephews, now almost 16, was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 4. The stereotype that these people lack empathy is patently false. Yes, some do, but definitely not all.
One day, when he was 6 and while driving to the beach with his mom and sister, he called to me from the backseat:
Him: "Hey, Aunt Kerry!"
Me: "Yes, buddy?"
Him: "I'm sorry you're a little blind."
This sweet child has always gone out of his way to make sure my path was always cleared of obstructions, he would hold my hand when we were walking together, and he always asked me
if my eyes hurt.
If that's not empathy, I don't know what is.

KKGator Level 9 Apr 20, 2018
6

That’s awesome!! I think people on the spectrum are so highly misunderstood. This is a great example of that.

Jenmcjen Level 6 Apr 20, 2018
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