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What's your take on loneliness? I can't conceive feeling lonely. I DON'T just want random people in my life. And if I do, I go get'em. Is loneliness even a thing for us?

Radu 7 Aug 9
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0

I have always been more at peace being alone. I get plenty of human interaction through my work so something has to be truly enticing in ways that are enticing to me in order for me to choose to engage rather than choose the peace and contentment of being alone. The only exceptions to this rule, outside of my boys, of course, is a small group of close childhood friends that like to get together a couple of times a year. I enjoy the trip down memory lane even if I am not into the activity it may be centered around. Being around random people for the sake of being around people just isn't in me.

Amzungu Level 8 Sep 5, 2020
0

I chose to be alone most of my life, but wasn't really a choice, it was the only way to feel safe. In the mean time I experienced some intimacy, and I got hooked on it. The last couple of decades have been very lonely. I was just learning to embrace social intimacy when the pandemic began. I think I'm now permanently damaged, and I'll never be able to overcome the isolation.

BitFlipper Level 8 Aug 11, 2020

@Radu I was starting to believe it was something I could participate in. I was starting to feel that I could be accepted into social groups.

1

I've never lived alone and never experienced loneliness that I can remember . I get bored and find something to do . There are times I have to get away from people even as a child I could only take so much of friends and needed a break . I like to work alone for the most part my radio keeps me company . I do have a lot of friendly acquaintances I just don't have time for a lot of small talk .

Besalbub Level 8 Aug 10, 2020
0

My ex trained me well to be happy being alone.....i had no choice! Not however writing him a "thank-you card" anytime soon.

AnneWimsey Level 9 Aug 10, 2020
1

I have Lily the dog in my life. She keeps most loneliness away.

Theresa_N Level 8 Aug 10, 2020
1

I lost the love of my life of 31 years in 2019. I miss him. I've always been comfortable being by myself. I have a great support system of friends and a few family members. The quarantine didn't change my social life much (lol). However, I'm just now starting to really miss hugs.

Sonja44 Level 7 Aug 9, 2020

@Radu Well, I've missed hugs from my hubby since he passed. But I was so focused last year being his caretaker then taking care of everything after his death... I didn't have time to think past the grief and what was necessary to get done.

7

I like to be alone, but I do get lonely sometimes. I would like someone to be alone with.

That's exactly it.

@Radu My 31 year relationship with my love... that's what it was like. It was easy and wonderful to be around each other. When one of us needed alone time or space to be with other friends... no big deal.

@Radu Hell no.. I may be an introvert in public, but one on one, I'm very loquacious. I just want someone who has the capacity to understand that social stuff can be draining for an introvert and that sometimes we have the need for silence. My favorite quote is: "The best kind of friend is one you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had."

@Sonja44 @Radu That was how my 23 year marriage was too, before it went south. We just understood each other and gave each other space. yet we were extremely close, had great talks, had great silences. It just worked.

2

We're better with the right person, than with any person...that said, there are many people that fit in between the "right person" and any person...

@Radu ...maybe some...true introverts...but many of us wish for the "right", or the in-between... ...

I always say that I would rather be alone than wish I was. Being with the wrong person can be very lonely.

2

I have family so not alone even when I live alone

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 9, 2020

@Radu yup we talk every week

1

In general, yes I do get lonely at times. Three years ago just after divorce was lonely, but I had been used to the constant companionship. I rarely have that kind of loneliness now.

2

I need people who have experience and values in common with me. Random people, not good. I need people who I can relate to.

SKH78 Level 8 Aug 9, 2020

Yes... I know people who collect friends... the more the better. They simply cannot be alone. That makes me wonder if it's painful for them to be alone, or if there's an emptiness in them that only people can fill. I would rather be me than someone like that.

3

Some folks are satisfied with having lots of acquaintances who accept them within a group . Some folks have lots of relatives to share important events with .Then there are those of us who are introverts . We try to make friends occasionally , but usually find we are more satisfied with a good book , or perhaps a faithful pet than with the vast quantities of available people . There may be occasions when we'd like to have someone to talk to or be with , but overall , it's just not worth the effort required to locate someone that fits in the comfort zone .

Cast1es Level 9 Aug 9, 2020
0

I do get lonely, occasionally. I live in an area that to find anyone (friend or more) I have something in common with I'd have to sift through thousands of people who I find entirely repugnant. So I pretty much live my life completely alone. No good conversations, no understanding ear, it gets wearing.

@Radu That also requires sifting through a great deal of people. I just don't want to that's exhausting.

I get that. People always tell me I spend too much time alone and I should join a meetup group.. and I'm like "What the hell don't you understand about the word "Introvert"

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