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What if....

What if you found another person... a friend, a companion, a soul mate... who "gets" you. What if you could sit on a porch swing with him for hours and never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. What if that person understood your need, as he understood his own, for privacy, for quiet time, for reflection, and did not feel it necessary to fill the air with observations and constant chatter. What if that person loved you with all his heart, and looked out for you, and saw to your needs as you saw to his. What if you shared music and art and laughter and good restaurants and museums and scenery and books and romance and slow dancing.

What if.....

TheoryNumber3 8 Sep 13
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I once sat with my grandfather watching a sunset. It was a few hours and it was the best time I had with him. We did not speak. It was destroyed when my grandmother and aunt returned from the cult mass they had been at. Both of us sighed as we headed in to the chaos.

Budgie Level 7 Dec 17, 2019

I'm not looking to fall in love, but it would be nice to have a daily companion who didn't require explanations for the things about us that are different. I have a few quirks, but I think we all do. I've never been highly social and a long distance move 5 years ago to a small Texas town has left me feeling rather isolated. I love where I live for many reasons, but socially, I was dead until I joined a Democrats club a few weeks ago. So far, it's been doing a good job of meeting my social needs, but still, a companion would be really nice.

JustAskMe Level 6 Oct 30, 2019

There's no denying that being around like minded people gives you a sense of peace. No one wants to have to justify themselves constantly. I'm glad you found a group you can relate to... but I hear you about wanting that one special person. I do too.... and he just hasn't stumbled into my viewfinder. Meanwhile I have you people πŸ™‚

@TheoryNumber3 I feel the same way. I live in a very small, very religious community and most often when I meet someone their first question is "What church do you go to?" At first I would respond with "I don't" but that only led to endless invitations to "their church" Then I began saying "I'm atheist." because I was irritated and tired of invitations, but that led to mostly either stunned silence or prayers for me. It also served to alienate me right off the bat, and in a small town, it doesn't rub off easily or quickly. One time, I had a neighbor gluing Bible verses to my front door. So now, I answer, "I don't because it's not my belief system, but thank you." I've been here 5 years and still don't have what I would consider a friend - someone to hang out with on a regular basis, but I am "friendly" with certain folks. It's been a lot better since joining the local Democrats club and I'm hoping to build some friendships there. This is only my second day here, but I am grateful and hopeful about making some meaningful connections. Thanks for your comment! I enjoy reading your contributions here.

@JustAskMe Well welcome to the group, Patti. Thank you for your kind words. I'm not sure I could live in a situation like yours but you're right... the best way to make friends is to hang around with like minded people. I live in a town that tends to be very white and very christian also....fortunately not as challenging as your situation... there are pockets of secular progressives that I've managed to find, so I try to cultivate friendships within those groups.

I'm glad you're enjoying the discussions. It's nice to have a forum like this where we can talk about our unique issues as introverts with people who "get it".


I have a fellow introvert friend like that. We exult in having "introvert" in common. Funnily enough, he is also a devout christian, and we love to discuss our belief/non-belief in a respectful way. Neither of us intends to convert the other. It's very refreshing. We share tons of interests, and have been friends for over a decade. I should probably point out, it's platonic, as he is gay, so he's not a life partner, just a very dear friend.


Addictions took him. We are both free of its grip.

Mooolah Level 8 Sep 19, 2019

I can relate. Alcoholism took my husband as well


Sign me up. I recently finished college from working full time + school full time so now there is a void. Trying to get back on that high horse but it's like I have to start from the bottom rung of the ladder.

Yes, but you already know how to climb it, right?

@TheoryNumber3 Of course. I've got some distance to cover to catch up but I'm confident that I'll get there.


Be nice but not holding my breath

bobwjr Level 10 Sep 16, 2019

The simple things in life...... wouldn't that be great?

IamNobody Level 8 Sep 16, 2019

I might think I had been shipped off to Fantasy Island. It sounds too good to be true

I know... but I have to believe it's possible (she said wistfully)


I had that many years ago, and didn't recognize how rare and valuable it was.

BitFlipper Level 8 Sep 15, 2019

I think it's an humble conclusion...shows a nice person's mind. We learn from that, at least.


If only...

NHjulie Level 8 Sep 14, 2019

Since this is so rare I would be ecstatic and enjoy every minute of it!


It seems like a lot of people have basically given up. Bury oneself in work and pets and who has the time to waste on futile first meetings anyway?

CallMeDave Level 8 Sep 13, 2019

Well I can't argue with that. Except that I can't bury myself in my work, cause I'm retired.

I've had way too many of those disappointing first dates.... Nice guys, but not the one I was hoping for. The older you get, the more difficult it is. Most of the men I meet are looking for either someone who is exactly like their deceased wife, or nothing like the witch they divorced

@TheoryNumber3 I totally agree !! Even if I'm 51 I can see the difference. Recently divorced men want to "party" ( I don't blame them). But my own "partying" is done...maybe a widower.


enjoy the ride

Pedrohbds Level 7 Sep 13, 2019

Had it awesome but hell when you lose that

bobwjr Level 10 Sep 13, 2019

I don't have to wonder. πŸ₯°

Kynlei Level 8 Sep 13, 2019

What if that has already happened? What if, after years of happiness she was suddenly gone? Would there still be home for another companion? I'd like to think anything is possible but one has to tread with caution.

JackPedigo Level 9 Sep 13, 2019

If only . . .

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