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Melbates 7 Mar 27
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I have a good friend who was a lesbian in Nigeria. She is a journalist, and would try to write about LGBT issues. She was arrested on several occasions, and I've seen the scars from when the police tortured her. But she tells me that if she had lived in the northern part of the country, which is majority muslim, then she would have been killed rather than arrested.

She was told that the police were coming for her again, so she left quickly, seeking asylum in the USA. This was near the start of October, 2016. She is very anxious about having her asylum request denied, and being sent back to Nigeria.

I lost a lot when I came out, but I never had to deal with anything like this.

miffy Level 5 Mar 28, 2018

I've never experienced any homophobia. I had a little, old lady ask if my then-girlfriend was my sister and the look when I said no, my girlfriend. But, that's the extent of it. I don't know if I'm thankful for not experiencing those things or if I would've grown as a person. I've been accused of naivete and "being a baby" by other gays because I haven't experienced anything so harsh.

@Melbates People find out that my wife and I are married and they tend to get awkward and embarrassed. One person recently was really nice and friendly, but when she found out I was married to a woman she was gone within moments. But I've never had to experience any bigotry for being gay or bi.

But I'm trans. These days, the only people who act with transphobia are those who are told, or who knew me from before transition. But in the early days of transition it was much worse. I lost my job the day after I came out. I lost my brother. My parents did not talk to me for over a year, and my mother continues to refer to me using "male" language in public spaces where it can be awkward and even dangerous. I had businesses refuse to serve me. I would fail to get jobs that after 20 years of experience I could have sworn I would get. I have had people "out" me to others without my consent.

None of it is fun, but I'm grateful, because none of it would result in injury or death, like the situation my friend had to endure.

@miffy 😟 I'm so sorry.

@Melbates oh dear, it reads like a big sob story. It’s really fine. Like I said, I don’t get subjected to it anymore. And the bad stories actually gave me experiences to talk about

Ironically, I’ve had worse experiences as a woman. I’ve learnt a lot.

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