Sometimes, we write to heal.

My Time
You had so much time.
Two years? Three?
And you had another lover to share ideas
Of how to be rid of me.
To me this was all so new.
I had no clue.
For a while in the beginning,
I went over and over in my head
What could have been a cause.
Now I realize that her divorce caused this.
She found herself suddenly alone….
…and she bought your loyalty with her kiss.
When she found out how much money
She would not get because of me…
She dumped you to look for more, I see.
She is a predator
And you were weak
So take you back?
Never as, never seek.
It’s absurd that you can even ask.
It is clear to me that
You no longer have integrity.
…You traded it in.
Now you will run and hide…
And live with relatives…And blame my pride.
In the end, I guess
It’s the best you can do.
I am sorry you were used.
I am sorry you just couldn’t see.
I am sorry you both
Took advantage of me.
I am grateful I can see.
I don’t get bitter you said.
I would be okay, you lied.
I am strong, resourceful and kind.
I wouldn’t be lonely, you surmised
Where SHE was.
But you didn’t count on her
“Thrill of the chase.”
Or her coldness…
Or her selfish needs.
I see.
You thought she was with you because of your “irresistibility.”
I am sorry, I truly am.
…but I can’t help you now.
My own tears spilled so far and wide
Into my soul…
…that I’m torn up and worn.
There is nothing left to give.
Nothing left to mourn.
Yet I know this won’t always be the case.
I know the strength that hides deep inside these shaky bones of late.
There is love in my heart waiting to shine.
After a holiday of reflection it will surface…
…anew. I can wait.
Of this, I am certain.
I can see
Bits and pieces of old me.
So please don’t text…
Or call…
Or email…
Or send me deliberate little messages through friends.
Anymore…
The time has come for you
To be on your own to
Live, learn and grow.
As I have.
This I know.
I wish you well, love.