I get up in the morning. Still groggy, I carefully make my way down the hall while avoiding stepping on Minecraft pieces. Coffee. I ... need ... coffee. About at the midpoint I see a smaller version of a person standing at the end of the hall between me and the coffeemaker. It's holding out a diaper in one hand and smiling up at me. On the floor in front of it is what was once contained by the diaper. I remind myself that it is not worth a sentence of life without parole for driving the little sucker into the floor like a nail.
I look down at the creature and force a smile. I say, "Hi. Does Mommy know you're out here?" Then I remember, I'm Grampa and the cretin in front of me belongs to my daughter and son-in-law. They left it here last night. The smile fades, then returns.
I bend down, peel the still oozing diaper from the critter's hand and drop it to the side of the hall. I pick the smelly monster up and I'm doing all I can to not laugh for fear of waking Gramma.
I whisper, "Hey, kid, how would you like to play in a nice warm bath for a while?"