Okay, this is my first time sharing my writing with strangers on a forum.
I started writing a book 25 years ago, and was rejected by 2 publishers then, and now I am working up the courage to get back to it. It’s a non-fiction effort to bridge the gap between religion and science.
Though I’m more into prose than poetry, in between the chapters, I’ve interspersed some simple poems that metaphorically summarize the point of each chapter. Here is the first one. Curious if anyone has any criticism or encouragement. Thanks.
10
Enjoy being online again!
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5 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Nice words...Welcome to the fold...enjoy and write!!!
RobertNappi2
Level 9
June 8, 2018
2
@Julie808 there is also "Poets' Corner" dedicated to poetry. And to format poems into a box start with [p o e m] and close with [/p o e m] - simply leave out the gaps between the letters.
and end this rhyme
With closing line
Avoiding th in, thing od and bi g
As fat hacker's virus doesn't dig
With closing line
Avoiding th in, thing od and bi g
As fat hacker's virus doesn't dig
Interesting that the comma is now making it duplicate or create that thing od
@Admin? The poem formatting seems to prevent the theft of th in.
FrayedBear
Level 9
June 8, 2018
0
Okay, thanks for that advice on formatting. Using the poetry format removed my verses, making the it all double spaced, and I didn't like that, so I removed it. I will look at other ways to format for the future. I also didn't realize we were supposed to avoid certain words. Now I see why some people post a link to their work instead.
I like it. Chaos is an engine of creation. Uniformity is not. Good one.
Palindromeman
Level 7
June 8, 2018
3
In the 3rd to last line, I do not understand "Wi the dance"
JenBeberstein
Level 8
June 8, 2018
1
Within - I fixed it. Thanks for catching it!
Finally decided to post it as an image.
@Julie808 That glitch messed me up every time I said "thing" when I first joined this site.
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