Cheesy Jokes


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RecentPosts By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

Cheesy Jokes

Nov 19, 2024Nov 2024

Posted by Zealandia

Apparently you can't use “beef stew” as a password. It's not stroganoff.

2 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Nov 18, 2024Nov 2024

Posted by Zealandia

Our neighbour when I was growing up was in the Mafia, but he was a nice guy. He would regularly give me five bucks just to start his car.

A truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturned on the motorway earlier today. Amazingly, there has been no congestion for 8 hours.

I have bought my wife a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

A telemarketer called & asked to speak to whoever runs the household. So I passed the phone to my cat.

My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So I bought her a candle.

The answer was flagged….

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 28, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Dad to his son: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!” Son: “Go on, then.” Dad growls: “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” Son: “Dad, that’s Superman!” Dad: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

Imagine you wake up every day in room-sized bed. you are gently lifted from the covers and dressed in warmest sweaters each morning. your favourite foods are brought to you. you have no bills, no job, no responsibilities. but you are a chihuahua, so ...

3 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 24, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

I wanted to marry an English teacher when she got out of jail... But you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

0 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 24, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”

0 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 22, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Did a little mechanical work today... I put a rear end in a recliner.

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 18, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

3 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 10, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My son will need to be arrested for sending me this one.... Who can drink 2 gallons of gas? Jerry can

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus. So I could slap eight people at once.

4 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 8, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Police officer: “Your truck is heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.” Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce, tops!”

0 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 6, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

0 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Oct 5, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by anglophone

Q: What do you get if you drop a grand piano on a child? A: A flat minor.

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife & she told me I was right. "What do I do next?"

10 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Oct 1, 2024Oct 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My laptop was driving me crazy. “The A, E, and I keys always stick,” I complained to a friend. She quickly diagnosed the problem, “Your computer is suffering from irritable vowel syndrome.”

The coffee shop had a sign that said "No WiFi, pretend it's 1973!" So, I paid 10¢ for my coffee and lit a cigarette.

"Hey boss, what should I do with this big roll of bubble wrap?" "Just pop it in the storeroom" I was there all day

Started a new job as a delivery man today. When I got to my first address there was a sticky note on the door saying, "Dear Mr Delivery Man we're out, please hide in garage." That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.

My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied "No... She responded: "How about now?"

3 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Sep 16, 2024Sep 2024

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Carol: What’s your pet pig’s name? Alice: Ballpoint. Carol: Is that his real name? Alice: No, that’s his pen name.

2 comments

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RecentPosts By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

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