Burger King’s Impossible Whopper has become a huge hit for the fast-food franchise, but a new conspiracy theory circulating in right-wing circles claims that the meatless burger is causing men to grow breasts.
Now, I know a lot of you are gonna say “a veggie burger causing men to grow breasts? Why, that’s Impossible!” Yes, dummy - that’s probably why it’s called the “Impossible Burger.” Personally, I’d like to thank all these conspiracy theorists for keeping us “abreast” of this “developing” story.
Hell, if these Impossible Burger people aren’t stopped soon, the poor company may be forced to change their name from Burger King to Burger Queen. Not to mention, that men who may not want to have big breasts - may start demanding that Burger King make a sandwich that will help enlarge their “Whoppers” too!
That said, all this may end up having a silver lining. I mean, this could create a huge sales boon for Victoria's Secret. Not to mention, unemployed men may now be able to find work as Hooters servers. Now the question is, how many Impossible Burgers do you need to eat before you’re sporting a couple of “double D’s?”