In times of horrible, painful stressing i have always been able to take a break & admire a sunset, or whatever. This is a Huge gift to have, IMO!

Encountering conflict, puzzlement ,strong disagreement and and uncomfortable criticism has has often led me to the great happiness of understanding and accomplishment. As Norman Mailer once wrote in his ADVERTISEMENTS FOR MYSELF, there is a real danger than if we attempt to find joy by avoiding all pain, we may cheat the heart out of our lives.

i could be happy every day but the alcohol would soon kill me.

I strive to find happiness everyday, and to approach each situation with positivity and a smile, but I also don't shy away from any emotion. They are all valid.
When I get angry or someone has done or said something upsetting, I try to stay calm, take a step back, and look at the situation from another (their) point of view. I ask myself: Why is this upsetting, why would they do/say that? Then I do my best to answer that question; they are having a bad day, they didn't realize what they said/did was so hurtful, they have low self-esteem, they are reacting to something I did that they don't like...
It helps me deflect the nastiness that isn't really directed at me, and understand/grow from things I've instigated.
I try to understand rather than react.

Zhuangzi: "Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness." The Sayings of Chuang Tzu

Mine is to be content and to accept.