Have you eliminated autism as a possible condition? If so, how did you eliminate it?

Since posting the above I visited the Mayo Clinic website. It said talk therapy can treat narcissism. Congratulations.

That does not sound like a narcissist, that sounds like someone who was disconnected from her own emotions so she could not relate to others emotions. Most likely she was raised by parents who also never showed emotions.

Ah, good for her, and you and the kids.
I suspect that there is a spectrum of how well we recognize & identify other people's emotions. Some folks, for whatever reasons, are too involved with themselves to pick up on other people's emotions. Might be situational or more longer lasting. (a few hours to whole life and anywhere in between) As well as that, some folks can really pick up on others' emotions, sencing when they are down or 'off', while I think most of us are less sensitive. Others, of course, are not able to, or don't care about others' emotions.
Informing (and getting through to) your wife that everyone has emothions and we can feed of off and support one another through emotional interactions, must have been an eye opener. I'm sure everyone involved will benefit.
I recognise that, as I grew and still as I get even older, I've became more and more aware of other's emotional state and how my own emothions can affect other.
Human nature is weird and wonderful.

My mum was not capable of showing much emotion. In her case, it wasn't narcissism. She was raised by a mum who spent all the time my mum was growing up in a wheelchair. So she was wrapped in her own problems and had little to give my mum. My mum's sisters were all much older than her and also gave very little. So that lack was passed on to us. I'm only bringing this up in case it might be relevant and some help.

I was brought up sort of like that. Come from a large family and hugging and 'I love you' were for sissies. We showed our affections by hits on the arm and non-rude name calling. It was strictly a family/social thing especially during the time I was growing up. Now I live in a place where everybody hugs (even with strangers) and it takes some getting used to. For me it was never about empathy.

hmm … do you need the praise???

Congrats... I think