At our first faculty meeting this semester, we were asked to do a show and tell about what we did over summer. One of the things I shared was this detail from a 14th century painting I saw in Verona. It was part of a series of art images I showed so I could make jokes about Catholicism being the template for horror and heavy metal. I made the joke that “sometimes I regret not having children, because they would be like these cute little guys with their pointed ears, cloven hooves and tails.” It was meant to be partially self effacing, partially insinuating that children = demons and most of all humorous. It got a reasonable laugh. Later on, one of the directors in my department, a cheerful, hippyish, grandmotherly woman approached me during a mixer with the graduate students and asked “l’m curious now, why you don’t have children? I think you’d be a wonderful dad!” I told her that it would “take a while to explain,” or something inane like that. Fortunately, she dropped it, but it made me feel uncomfortable... but stupid me, I totally opened that door. Anyway, I was just hoping to shake the awkward feeling I have right now, so thanks for letting me share.
People often say to me: "I think you'd make a great father!" and tbh, it's usually people I've just met or who don't know me very well. It really is quite shallow: - they're assuming you can take on such a responsible role (parenting) and be good at it, with but the most slender of evidence. I invariably assure them that I've no interest in having children and that I'd probably be a lousy Father, but they don't get it, believe it or accept it: - they think I'm joking. Some folk mean well and may even intend the comment as a compliment, but I find it a bit patronising and too personal and pushy.
Yep. Too personal is exactly it.
Your profile pic literally made me think you had a blond "Trojan Warrior" mohawk.
I just thought you should know.
Did you run into the Montagues and Capulets in Verona?
Haha. Awesome, I totally see the Mohawk now.
No Montagues or Capulets, but the art museum where I took this picture is in an ancient building that used to be a fortress. It’s very picturesque and would not be hard to imagine Shakespearean characters wandering around there.
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