As for me, this conversation reminds me of the core problem with religion.
Aside from religious paradigms being fantasy-based, the fact is religion is what one makes of it. Take any doctrine, and you can tweek it and interpret it a whole variety of ways; case in point is the endlessly splintering world of Protestant denominations.
There are plenty of caring, open-minded people whose religious faith brings them comfort and who choose to interpret their religion's teachings in loving and affirming ways. So far so good.

The problem is religion's inherent emphasis on Faith, on the "virtue" of accepting and acting on an idea in spite of lack of factual evidence, or even of conflicting evidence that would show an idea to be invalid. Why is this a problem? Why should it be any of my heathen business? Because faith is the value that allows bad actors to WEAPONIZE religion by convincing the faithful that, regardless of lack of evidence, they MUST embrace teachings that condemn lgbtq people and make excuses for our persecution and discrimination, even for violence against us.

I don't think any of us will win too many arguments with devoutly religious people if we insist on telling them their religion is evil and/or bogus. Maybe, just maybe, we can make some impact by asking them to consider being more thoughtful and studious about the core tenets of their chosen (or inherited) religion. FAITH, if it is indeed a polar opposite to REASON, might be the target we want to get people to question. Without blind, unquestioning faith, you have no fundamentalism, and you are on your way to your religion being merely a philosophy of life with some quaint rituals and cultural stories attached.