That doesn't sound appealing to me at all.

@Kynlei You maybe unaware that mud bugs are the fresh water version of lobster or hate beer.

Possibly both.

@WonderWartHog99 I know what crayfish are. I used to catch them as a kid. I just don't want to eat them. I'm also allergic to alcohol. Cursed life, I know.

@Kynlei The pathos! The bathos! Next you'll be telling me you're in exile from Louisiana because of your unbridled affection for lutefisk.

@WonderWartHog99 I don't think I'd want to even go near any food that's got lye in the recipe. Also never been to Louisiana.

@Kynlei Also never been to Louisiana.

No nutria for you!

@Kynlei I consider New Orleans as the shrine of good eats.

>I don't think I'd want to even go near any food that's got lye in the recipe

Ever had hominy?

"To make hominy, field corn (maize) grain is dried, then treated by soaking and cooking the mature (hard) grain in a dilute solution of lye . . . "

Source: [en.wikipedia.org]

@WonderWartHog99 Never eaten that either. Forgive me for not traveling, but I'm not well off enough to do so.

@Kynlei There's a small town about 30 outside of Pensacola called Milton. Milton is so boring they only sell near beer. Sometimes I'd find residents of Milton at Pensacola Beach talking about the trip down as if was paid for by National Geographic. It was alien landscape at the raw bar (topless oysters served nine ways) and watching college girls in bikinis playing beach volley ball. Whoa, dude. This isn't Milton. Why they even have full octane Budweiser.

I thought that was bad but in Laurens, SC, I'd find people from a town from six miles away in the grocery store acting the same way. I'd be standing in line and they'd be telling me Adli was awesome." They'd never been to Adli. (It's a grocery store chain).

Travel can be cheap. Most people think it has to be expensive. Some people are scared to go six miles down the road. Petunia's large extended family used to travel to a no cost campground, stopping to picnic along the way and the next day go into town, have another picnic and go back home. That gave them around a 400 mile range. What got to me was they wouldn't buy a tent.

@WonderWartHog99 I know it doesn't have to be expensive. I have traveled some, it's just not something I can do a lot. Any extra expense is often too much at this point in my life. Even gas money to get somewhere would be difficult.

@Kynlei I have traveled some . . .

Perhaps you have visited Indiana Dunes National Park? Throw the kids into the lake's nearly freezing water this summer and see what happens

I throw my quarters in a piggy bank. About every six to eight months I find there's $80 in there. That covers the gas money for a trip out of town. You could take a trip on spare change. I used to keep my quarters in a spare change bank in the car for toll roads only to find Petunia was raiding the spare change supply. She's reluctant to break the piggy bank. An empty jar can fill in for the piggy bank. Make sure it's not a see through jar.

@WonderWartHog99 I have not been there, but I was raised in west Michigan, so I have been to the lake many times. I don't have kids to throw in, though. I also don't use cash very often. I find I spend too much when I have it. All of our (very little) extra money is going into savings right now. We want to buy a house.

@Kynlei I don't have kids to throw in . . . . .

By the time you've got enough quarters to visit me, you'll have kids. Assuming you drive at a reasonable speed, take breaks, it will be two days to get to South Carolina, 2.5 tanks of gasoline to get here, $18 at the nearest campground for two nights. I'm also assuming you are a 1,000 miles away. A heap of assumptions there.

While driving back you'll say "He wasn't kidding. Seneca is the pits. Nice campground. Right on the lake."

@WonderWartHog99 Ah, you're not too far from Gatlinburg. My husband and I took our honeymoon there last summer. Looks to be a little over 650 miles. Not sure that I can handle camping anymore though. I haven't done that since I was a kid.

@Kynlei Gatlinburg is next door to Smokey Mountain National Park. Its neighboring city (something like three miles away) Pigeon Forge has the less expensive motels and better parking.

By my standards, they're both tourist traps. Go there and buy your Big Johnson t-shirts suitable for wearing inside Dollywood.

If you can walk, you can go camping. Last year after two strokes and finding out I have 30% heart blockage, Petunia insisted we ought to go camping anyway. I need a cane to walk with. We went camping but we didn't go mountain climbing. The strokes knocked out that level of energy. I had enough energy to put up a tent that sleeps 12.

You could pitch a pop up tent (throw it at the ground and it pops up) in the park at Elkmont campground, which has a bus to Gatlinburg. Near Elkmont is a paved hiking trail to Laurel Falls, rated as the best place to see wildflowers. If you'd like to see how the original settlers lived, go the opposite direction and take the drive around Cade’s Cove or drive into Gatlinburg for the Roaring Fork Motor Trail.

You could hang out in town and buy up all the t-shirts you can't wear around your town that feature bongs and Big Johnson mottos. Petunia prefers to buy their coffee mugs instead. One time she bought me a t-shirt that featured a wolf and then complained it made me look like a hick.

@WonderWartHog99 We rented a condo up near Ober Gatlinburg. It was $65 per night, which is cheaper than any hotel that I found and it had a great view. Plus, I went through the VRBO website, so I could pay for it in chunks instead of all at once, which helped.

We walked around downtown Gatlinburg some and went to the aquarium. I noticed there were a lot of the shirts you mentioned, but I'm not about that life. I went the tame route and bought a t-shirt that has a bear on it that says "Great Smoky Mountains National Park". My husband got an Ole Smoky Whiskey shirt.

I'm not really fit for hiking. I injured my back when I was 21 and it prevents me from doing a lot of activity. Walking isn't so bad, but anything more physical than that is painful. We did drive the Roaring Fork Motor Trail, though. It was beautiful. I took lots of pictures (attached proof that I was there ).

I'd honestly like to go again because I feel like there was so much we didn't get to see. I wanted to go up to Clingman's Dome, but they had closed it for maintenance the day before we got there. I think a cave tour would be cool too. I also have the biggest craving for the chicken and dumplings at the Old Mill Restaurant in Pigeon Forge. That put all other chicken and dumplings to shame!

@Kynlei We rented a condo up near Ober Gatlinburg. It was $65 per night . . .

That's cheap to be sure. With my Eagle Pass, it's $8 a night in the park. Until you reach geezer status, you pay at least twice that.

>I wanted to go up to Clingman's Dome . . .

It's a steep hike with a bench every tenth of a mile. With my asthma and the thinner air, I used every bench on the way up to the observatory. Young couples with their toddlers on their backs seemed to be racing to the top.

BTW, Petunia looks for trail guides that describe hikes as short and easy. They weren't lying about Laurel Falls. However she's found trail guides that tell whoopers about that "easy" part.

>I think a cave tour would be cool too.

Bring a hat and a sweater. In Tennessee, Kentucky and North Carolina they have lots of them and they're all dripping water and in 60's. If you're over 5'8" you'll wonder what you just bumped your head on. I'd like to go to Mammoth Cave but Petunia worries it has too many stairs to for her to keep up with the tour group. The most spectacular cave tour I've been on is Ruby Falls in Chattanooga, Tn. primarily because of the colored lighting and signs. A 60 foot underground waterfall was a neat feature.

We camped at Cloudland Canyon on nearby Lookout Mountain to see Ruby Falls. One camps on the top of the canyon and hikes down to see the waterfalls. I thought I'd never seen the end of all those switchbacks and flights of stairs. A case of "short and easy." Petunia chickened out.

>I also have the biggest craving for the chicken and dumplings at the Old Mill Restaurant in Pigeon Forge.

There's nothing that says you can't eat at restaurants in town. It's that three meals a day in restaurants that makes it start to get expensive. Lunch at a restaurant is your best buy. Cook your breakfast in camp for your greatest savings.

Should you go back to the Smoky National Park, check out Cades Cove from Gatlinburg. It's the most likely place you'll see wild life. Expect to spend most of the day if you want to check out all the buildings of the original settlers. They have a working grist mill and an easy hike to the largest waterfall in the park.

@WonderWartHog99 Cades Cove was on my list of places to go, but we didn't make it. When you're on your honeymoon, getting up and out the door early isn't exactly a priority.

We did eat out for most of our meals that time, but only because we had extra funds from the wedding. We could have easily bought a few groceries and cooked in our condo or at least made sandwiches, since it had a full kitchen. We usually only ate one big meal per day anyway, with most others being a snack from whatever shop.

@Kynlei Cades Cove was on my list of places to go, but we didn't make it.

There is a Cades Cove campground with more conveniences than the other campgrounds in the park, such as an ice cream store, a general store, hayrides, bike and horse rentals. They don't have a bus that can take you into town.

>When you're on your honeymoon, getting up and out the door early isn't exactly a priority.

People on vacation, once they get where they are going, sleep in or have sex by the early light or combination thereof. It's not just honeymooners.

When it comes to having sex in a tent morning sex is too indiscreet: tent shakes, people walk by. The best time for sex in a public campground is when it's late night and it's raining. Nobody will stand outside in the rain paying any attention to your tent. This park is a rain forest. Get more than your share while you're there. Frankly I'd prefer overnight backpacking where there are no people around.

Major detail: when you're indulging in the pleasures of the flesh at night, turn off the light. Otherwise your silhouettes will be clearly displayed on the tent walls.

Thanks, now I want garlic bread and spaghetti.