a lot of it is generalizations

Believe is called “cold reading” , James Randi and others have demonstrated how it works. Lot of scammers make a living at it. Problem is you are vulnerable because you are emotionally involved.

I have studied all this and do not give them any credit. In the case of my first wife going to such a reader and getting great and confirmed info in return, her visit was done by appointment a week ahead of time. This gave the reader time to research and then all she has to do later is play and read you.

i don't give them much credit.

I won a reading a few years ago at charity event.
I shared my name and not much else. I was a skeptic.
The first 20 minutes was broad generalizations. The last ten minutes rattled me to my core. She told me I was on my third and final life. My first one was nothing to write home about that’s for sure. She said that I only brought one child with me from my second life to my current one. That child was my youngest.. I have 3 children. She proceeded to tell me that I brought my youngest with me because I didn’t spend much time, he died at the age of 5. I asked her to repeat it which she did. She said he died at age 5. She went on to tell me that children that you take from one life to the next might switch genders. Well my youngest is trans male. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Perhaps my youngest needed to live the life that was cut short hence why the gender dysphoria he suffered was so intense. She had no way of knowing this about my child. I still feel a sense of reassurance now about my youngest wanting to live his authentic self. I didn’t feel that prior to this reading. Although I was supportive I agonized over whether or not this was the right path for him. That reading still brings me a sense of comfort. Perhaps I am reading too much into it all but I haven’t agonized over it since that day.

They use very broad generalizations and wait for the persons reaction. I used to watch some of the famous ones on tv. They would throw out something like 'I see a deceased older man around you'. 'Your father, maybe gfather, an older brother'. 'Uncle perhaps'?
How can you miss with that?

You reminded me of Oda Mae (Whoopie) talking to the Ghost in the movie "Ghost"...

Most of them ask broad but general questions and then based on your responses they subtly zero in what you want to find. the scam is based on the fact that the person wants it to be true

sometimes I think some of them are very clever in getting info out of us .... and yet I have seen some that had a gift ....im not sure how intuition or some real mind reading and that sounds impossible to me