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Shut it Out

The stars shine brighter at 3 a.m., I think.
Warm lake water, smelling of earth and wildlife.
Peace.
So quiet.
Wading in, feeling my clothes stick my skin like a wet suit.
He's rather persuasive, if I'm honest.
His spontaneity goes against all my inner caution.
His arms, so tight around me.
My legs wrapped around him.
I can feel his breath on my skin as the water laps against our bodies.
His breath becomes rapid at times, but he's trying control it so I will not notice.
His stubble is rough against my cheek and neck, but I like it.
Stars above like a spinning kaleidoscope as he twirls with me in his arms.
Mars winking at our behavior.
He held me so tightly.
Held me as if he were afraid I might disappear.
As if I were the only refuge in this world from all the pain, and sorrow.
His fingers dance across my back and my body responds.
My thoughts betray me, but I must arrest them.

I want taste him.
Shut it out.
Would he kiss me back?
Shut it out.
Does he even want me any more?
Shut it out.
Can he only be seduced by the temperance of need?
Shut it out.
Does he just feel guilty? Is that why I'm here?
Or does he want more than just friendship, again?
Shut it out.
He feels so safe, so natural, so normal.
Shut it out.
He smells like the lake, mixed with exotic spices.
Shut it out.
He's so kind, and strong, and lovely in this light.
Shut it out.
She said we'd have her blessing.
Shut it out.
I'd want take it slow, anyways.
Shut it out.
He's so smart, and ....
Shut it out.

nutrition_nerd 7 Oct 20
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5 comments

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0

emotional embrace at its best! good work!

Eldovis Level 7 Oct 23, 2018
0

Nicely done!!!

0

Such a dilemma! Well written

Justjoni Level 8 Oct 20, 2018
0

It is like a want to take it in and shut it out all at once. Afraid to begin to hope it takes kind of emotion. Good write

azzow2 Level 9 Oct 20, 2018
0

Wow that's good. Thanks for sharing...

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