Good Day
Good day.
I would like to return this anorexic polyester sweater,
puce, trimmed in mustard,
size XXS, which is somebody's size
but not mine.
I wish to exchange this macrame wall hanging
depicting the history of flatulence
for a pewter picture frame.
I am not responsible for the lack of stays
on this real imitation leatherette brassiere
and I can prove it:
here are photos of me, opening the package,
attempting to change my expression of
horror to one of surprised delight.
Despite the 30 percent bonus for accepting
store credit for this slab of ersatz dog poop I would prefer to be refunded in cash.
Please take this man
and wrap him beautifully
so that I may surprise and delight myself
when I peel down the delicate layers
of tissue, set aside the curly bows,
and try him on,
knowing he will fit.
g
1
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