“That’ll Be $3.00”

MAY 14, 2019 / DHMcCarty

I was 14. I looked 12.

Word on the street was the Empress was a little lax on enforcement. Since I was the oldest of the Kenwood Park Possee, they were waiting on my move.

“Uhm, I’ll have one adult admission.”

Jeez. How stupid could I be? Not exactly like it was the Saturday kiddie’s matinee.

She looked at me over rhinestone studded Catseye glasses and pointed at the ‘For Adults 18 and over’ sign. With a voice steeped in cheap whiskey and 10,000 Camels, she rasped.

“You over 18?”

“Uh yes, Ma’am. I mean not over 18. I’m …..uhm 18. Just had my birthday. Uhm …..last week. On Tuesday.”

“That’ll be $3.00.”

Tony, Fat Jack, and Derrick dug 3 bills out of their jeans and stepped to the booth in turn. Little Mickey was looking up at me and holding two bills and some change in his hand. His head was barely over the counter of the booth.

I dug another single out of my pocket and handed it to Mickey. Fat Jack grabbed Mickey’s left elbow and I grabbed his right. We lifted him up until he was looking at her right in the rhinestones. She rasped.

“Are you over 18?”

“I’m 28. A veteran of the Korean conflict. I got hit by some of that nerve gas and it stunted my growth. Fortunately, it left my impressive manhood intact Just in case you want to warn the dancers.”

“That’ll be $3.00.”

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Photo by Bill Rauhauer/Hillgallery.com