A few years ago before I moved to Bermuda from my home and native land of Canada I was asked to manage the construction of a mansion on the island of Mustique in the West Indies. I'm a hands on construction manager and a carpenter by trade and you never lose your trade.
I flew down to Mustique with a bunch of glowing promises from the owner and met with some serious dissappointment.
Mustique is a private island owned by a bunch of super rich guys just off the coast of St. Vincent. I was put up with some of my expat crew in a beautiful oceanfront estate complete with infinity pool, maid, cook and gardener. My neighbours were Mick Jagger, Tommy Hilfiger and Brian Adams; it was that kind of island. Stinking rich and totally private; an oasis where the super rich can let down their hair and try to act normal, NO CAMERAS ALLOWED!! (Shania Twain, Princess Margaret, Dow Chemical heirs, Felix Dennis the owner of Maxim Magazine, David Bowie etc. also had mansions on this island) but I digress.
My first day on the job I was shocked at how badly the local workers were treated compared to the expats and I took steps to improve their lot in life, this really peeved the owner but tough luck for him. A guy on my crew is a guy on my crew, we all pull together and we should all be treated fairly. My local guys decided that I was decent enough for a white guy so they gave me an island name 'Bob'. I finally asked them why they wanted to call me Bob and they said they thought I was Ai-Ree so they named me after the guy on TV. I assumed they meant Bob Villa from This Old House who is a total idiot as far as I'm concerned so I was a little crestfallen. My local foreman Ninja couldn't understand why I wasn't happy about my name so I told him what I was thinking. He looked at me oddly and said "I never hear Bob Villa but we call you 'Bob' for 'Bob the Builder' he the little guy on TV that work hard and make everything Good". I felt better for Ninja's explaination.
The site was made up of two cleared areas separated by a strip of jungle, one clearing for the mansion the other for the servants' quarters which was a good size building on its own. I had split my crews between the two areas and set them to work. After about an hour of work on the main site I walked down the road to the servants' site and found my four guys sitting on the foundation wall in the shade of the main wall all of them staring at a palm tree at the edge of the jungle. What the heck was going on here? I walked up to Ninja and asked him why he and his men were 'sitting out'.
Ninja said "Can't work Bob, Congo snake in dat tree dere" and pointed to the palm tree that the rest of the workers were still staring at. I looked at the palm tree and didn't see a snake just an air plant the size of a football growing out of the side of the palm.
The work I had assigned this crew ran right beside the palm tree in question and I could see that they had got to within 5 feet of the palm tree and then stopped work, hastily abandoning their tools. I figured these guys were putting me on and testing my good nature so I turned to Ninja and said "I don't see a snake, do you"?
"No" says Ninja "I don' see a snake Bob but dere is a Congo snake in dat tree".
"Where!" I said.
"In de ting growin' out de side of de palm" was Ninja's reply.
"I don't see a snake and you don't see a snake but you say there is a snake, is this an Invisible Snake?" I said sarcastically.
"You don' see a Congo Snake, Bob; You Smell It" said Ninja in a tone that indicated I was a fool and should know this.
"Really?" I said "and just what does a Congo Snake smell like"?
"Like Freshie, Bob" says Ninja. (he might have added "don't you know anything?" )
I walked up to where the tools lay on the ground by the base of the palm tree and sure enough I could smell the stong scent of lemon-lime freshie - What the Hell was this?
I confirmed with Ninja and the guys that there was definitely a snake in the air plant and they would not work anywhere near it. "No problem" I said cheerfully "I'll get rid of the snake and then you can get back to work". Ninja and the guys looked at me in disbelief and when I picked up a 10 ft. long 2x2 and headed towards the palm tree they all got up and moved behind the wall of the servants' quarters that was under construction, except for Ninja who stood his ground. I raised the 2x2 to knock the air plant off of the palm tree and was just about to give it a good poke when Ninja grabbed my arm and said "Don' do it Bob, Congo Snake is deadly poisonous"!!
Now one of the questions I had asked the owner of the construction company before I had agreed to come to Mustique was were there any poisonous snakes, spiders, plants, etc. that I should know about? 'None!' was the answer, 'Mustique is Perfectly Safe'! With foolish confidence I turned to my local foreman and said "Ninja, there are no poisonous snakes on this island".
"Congo Snake is deadly poisonous, Bob; dey be beery calm, bud if you bodder dem dey get vexed, bad trouble for you, Bob" was Ninja's reply.
Now I had already figured out that the owner was an asshole from the way he treated my men but I didn't think he was a liar and even if he had made a mistake I wasn't worried, I had dealt with rattlesnakes many times in my travels through the woods in Canada so no big deal. A rattler makes a big show to warn you away when it feels threatened and as soon as it can get away safely it does just that, a rattlesnake that wastes it's precious venom on something it can't swallow will soon be a dead rattler.
"Don't worry Ninja, I'll take care of it" and brushed his hand aside. I could handle this, easy. Ninja sort of shook his head and rolled his eyes as if to say "Crazy White Guy" and stepped back to the edge of the building but still not inside with the rest of the crew. I proceeded to show the locals how it was done Canadian style.
I gave the air plant a solid poke with the 2x2 and it came down in a heap, on the first try. It landed with a thud on the ground from a fall of about 8 ft. and at first nothing happened, then I saw a little bit of movement.
A green snake with yellow diamonds on its' back and a white and yellow belly uncoiled itself from inside the air plant. It was 6 feet long with the triangular head of a viper, just like a rattler only thinner, 'no problem' I thought, it will slink off into the jungle. The Congo Snake lifted its' head 2 feet off of the ground and flicked its' tongue in all directions trying to find the source of the attack, until it flicked it in my direction at which point it immediately attacked.
Holy Crap! This was no Rattler!
I was stunned for a second and this snake was lightning fast as it shot straight towards me. Instinct must have kicked in because I swung the 2x2 down from where I was still holding it after knocking down the air plant. I caught it a good hit right in the midsection and that snake swung around and bit my 2x2 so hard I could feel the hit vibrate all the way up that 10 feet of pole. It let go and started coming again so I backed up and gave it another whack. At this point I can still hear Ninja's words in my head "HE BE VEXED NOW, BOB!!" That snake was definitely vexed, I was backing up as fast as I could and it kept coming as fast as it could, I kept hitting it which slowed it down but didn't stop it, it also made it more (you guessed it) VEXED. I just didn't have enough time to get the 2x2 high enough for a killing stroke without letting the snake get close enough to bite me. At this point my strategic withdrawal abruptly ended as I had backed myself into the wall of the servants' quarters and there was no place left to retreat. I couldn't choke up the 2x2 and there was no way I could outrun this fast and very angry snake. I thought if I could stomp on it's head with my work boots I might have a chance but a slim one at best, I was going to get bitten by a apparently venomous Congo Snake.
The Congo was within striking range now and had pulled back to make its' strike when another 2x2 came whistling down and smacked it hard in the head, knocking it back a few feet. This gave me enough room to step sideways and give it a solid hit myself, before it could recover. Standing shoulder to shoulder with me, a 2x2 in his hand, was Ninja! That snake just wouldn't quit, it just kept on coming, so we forced out into a clearing where we both had room to manouvre and took turns swinging at the snake with our 2x2's. We were in the middle of the clearing before we finally killed that 6 foot Congo Snake and the air reeked of lemon-lime Freshie. We were both sweating and giddy in the way you get when something really bad almost happens to you but you manage to get through it. We both started laughing like schoolboys and the rest of the crew came out of the building to congratulate us and check out the snake.
After making sure that the Congo Snake was truly dead we disposed of the remains in a ditch at the back of the site for the island rats to eat.
Ninja and I were tight for the rest of the job and we hung out together quite a bit, much to the chagrin of the owner who didn't want the construction manager socializing with a local.
Screw him! as far as I was concerned he wasn't worth spit compared to Ninja or the rest of my guys on the crew!!
Hope you enjoyed sharing one of my island experiences,
It turns out that the congo snake (local name) hides in air plants and lures birds to it with its' lemon-lime scent. It is very poisonous but relatively harmless unless disturbed, it has a very bad temperament and will readily strike when it feels threatened. The owner later explained that there were no poisonous animals on the island except for Congo Snakes (deadly), fire ants (a serious problem), Touch-me-not ( a plant 10 times worse than poison ivy) and a spider that would make a piece of your flesh rot away the size of a quarter if it bit you. Thanks a lot, Jackass!
They did keep some anti-venom on the island but it wasn't always up to date as the anti-venom was very expensive due to the rarity of this snake.
Well told! This is why I love non-fiction. You drew me in very well.
Thank you, I have been thinking about rewriting a few of those stories from my past. Put a bit of polish on them after I dust them off a bit.
@Surfpirate Great idea ?
At the plant I worked at I was in charge of removing snakes that wandered down the mountain in back. Over the years I tossed quite a few settlers over the fence into the wild again. Got surprised by an aggressive gopher snake once, I was surprised how high they could rear, damn thing bit my jacket and wouldn't let go, shook a long time until he let go.
BTW, excellent story, you have lived a good life!
That is a great story and well told. Thank you.
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