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Friends With Benefits

Would an FWB relationship avoid the pitfalls of emotional commitment and ultimately be more satisfying? The inherent freedom would be terrific but would it evolve into codependency? Would an FWB relationship be easier to find or just as difficult as a "one time true love"?

JSchaper 6 July 29
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8 comments

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0

I don't think I could do FWB, I need a more committed relationship. Not necessarily marriage or even moving in but a steady girlfriend.

0

I've had three FWB relationships.They generally have a short shelf life, but l did have one that lasted about 5 years off and on.

It seems a common experience that FWB isn’t a satisfying relationship.

2

Ive observed in my experiance in relationships, committed or non, one person always cares more about the other and with FWB situations one will eventually want more which most of the time ends a friendship.

SuziQ Level 4 July 29, 2018
0

What does that even mean?

So, what? Y’all don’t know or y’all just don’t want to share?

2

I've tried FWB and usually it goes south about the time the male friend starts trying to control me or chuck a massive sad about what I may or may not do with the rest of my time. My preference is for an emotionally fulfilling relationship with shared lives but if that isn't available FWB seems better than becoming a nun, though have only known a few men that had the hang of it the others all tried the male dominance BS, at that stage the ONS starts looking good.

Kimba Level 7 July 29, 2018
0

There are times when I think I would prefer a FWB relationship to a full blown committed or long term thing. I still have a lot of baggage to dispose of from this recent divorce before I get involved again. However, I have a whole interesting set of trust issues that I didn't have when I was younger and more naive. For now I'm shelving any level of romance in my life until I am satisfied that I have moved on from the trauma of betrayal. Certainly don't want to taint some new chapter with old business.

Deb57 Level 8 July 29, 2018

It's been six weeks for me and is still quite raw and painful. I expect it will be for another year or so.

@JSchaper I am very sorry. It takes a long time. I caught my husband of 17 years in a months long affair late last October. Even though he is the one who declared the marriage to be "over" once caught, it took me until December to get him to move out. All these months later, there are still times when the pain from the betrayal seems overwhelming, but I have found that I am coping, will survive it, and that those awful spells of anger/grief are getting fewer and farther between. It takes as long as it takes to heal, and even though people often feel free to offer their opinions on the subject, nobody gets to tell you how long you are allowed to grieve. I wish you strength and comfort.

@Deb57 Thanks for sharing Deb. My best wishes to you.

1

I make that perfectly clear from the first date or conversation that I'll be a friend, take them to dinner sometimes and give them so many orgasms they can barely walk.

But I gotta be honest here. My plan may not be working out all that well.

If you do to and for women what I've just described they tend to fall in love with you no matter how many times you say,

we're just friends!

?

In opposite boat. She doesn't want anything more yet clearly enjoys the affection I give. Guess I'm being used. Sad

2

Casual sex makes me feel sad.

Most women, including me, was a committed, loving relationship.

Some guys feel this way too.

@Deanervin Yeah, I can't figure out how to combine intimacy with lack of commitment. Maybe in between some people's ears, endless, consequence-free full-on gorilla trampoline sex sounds like heaven, but it's just ... sad really, by itself, and for itself.

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